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Dissociation during physical intimacy/sex

Hello, heavy tws obviously ahead,

 

 

 

So recently I discovered that I dissociate during sex/physical intimacy without fail, and really am overwhelmed/stressed as to why this happens and how I can manage it. There are signs that point to me having deeply repressed childhood trauma I have no memory of but it may not be connected to this. I don't know what to do or what the causes for my dissociation could be outside childhood s*xual abuse/sexual assault, though I have no recollection of anything like that happening as a child, and it's very overwhelming to think about.

Re: Dissociation during physical intimacy/sex

Hey @SapienOddity 

Thank you for sharing this here with us, I understand this must be pretty confusing and a lot to think about. It's understandable to be feeling stressed and overwhelmed about this, but I want you to know you're not alone in feeling this way Heart Not everyone who experiences dissociation during sex has a history of childhood sexual assault, though I understand why you are thinking about this and wondering about repressed memories. Have you ever sought professional support around this? Some people find it helpful to chat to a psychologist/counsellor about issues around dissociation to try and figure out what might be causing it, is this something you would be interested it?

We're here for you @SapienOddity please let us know if there is anything we can do to support you through this Heart

Re: Dissociation during physical intimacy/sex

I am looking into changing psychologists to a trauma informed one, and know it may not be child sexual abuse/assault, it's just concerning when I have no idea what it is and trying to find resources/support for dissociation during sex mainly point to that.

Re: Dissociation during physical intimacy/sex

@SapienOddityI know just how unsettling it can be experiencing things that can be caused by trauma, but not knowing what the cause of them actually was. When I had experiences like that I spent ages racking my brains for what could have possibly gone on in my childhood that could have traumatized me and lead to that, but honestly I think I overthought it! Some of these things I never figured out a root cause for, but as it turns out I was still able to work through them without that. That's not to say that it isn't sometimes the a good thing to explore your past, but I don't think it has to be the solution 100% of the time.

I also think that while you're dealing with this it's a good idea to be mindful of if you can currently feel safe during sex, and if so what steps you can take to make sure of that. I'm happy to help you brainstorm around that if you'd like Smiley Happy

Re: Dissociation during physical intimacy/sex

That sounds like a really good step to take @SapienOddity. Do you know how you will go about it? And yeah it would be difficult to find resources and support if you are not sure about why it is happening. A therapist could help you explore where it may be coming from and also help manage what you are experiencing. It can take a lot of courage to address things that are overwhelming and scary, so it is good that you have reached out for some support Heart

Re: Dissociation during physical intimacy/sex

Finding ways to manage it sounds good @squiggly , I would prefer to do that not in a public forum though if that's okay aha.

Re: Dissociation during physical intimacy/sex

Of course that's okay @TheHamburglar it is quite a private subject!

Re: Dissociation during physical intimacy/sex

Hi @SapienOddity that sounds like something that's been really difficult to come to terms with. I can't say what I think is happening but the fact you've found a pattern should help you when you're getting help, which it sounds like you are! Aside from someone who specialises in trauma, another option could be seeing a sex therapist. My friend's sister had huge anxiety and fear around intimacy. It turned out to be from her mother being so conservative and freaked out at the idea of her daughters having sex that it rubbed off on her to the point she needed professional advice. Either way, I hope you're able to find the answers you need Smiley Happy

Re: Dissociation during physical intimacy/sex

@SapienOddity Thank you for sharing this. It's not easy disclosing a situation like that or going through it I can imagine. How long have you been experiencing these feelings and thoughts for?

Re: Dissociation during physical intimacy/sex

Not too long, maybe a couple of weeks?