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Re: Emotional abuse

@Mintie wow..... that must've been really difficult the hear from someone who was meant to help you recover...

 

I'd definitely recommend looking into a different psychologist..

Even if this wasn't a situation where abuse was involved, he still shouldn't be trying to make those decisions for you, that's not really his job.

We've actually having a GR discussion on building relationships with mental health professionals, which includes stuff about finding a good psychologist.

The link is here https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Getting-Real-sessions/SLOW-MO-GR-Building-Rapport-with-Professiona...

Re: Emotional abuse

@MisoBear talking to people usually helps me because it validates my feelings. I will try to find another psychologist but its difficult because i live in a rural area so the resources are limited.

Re: Emotional abuse

Hey @Mintie 

I'm sorry to hear about your experience with your psychologist and mum pushing you to make contact with your dad. It sounds like you don't feel like this is the right time to do that for you emotionally. Have you spoken to your current psychologist about why you feel uncomfortable doing this? In my experience, its super important to be as open with your psychologist as you can be even when you are opposing a suggestion they have given you. Its you that gets to be in charge of your recovery, your psychologist is there to help you at the stage you are at. You might find that if you explain your reasoning they will be a lot more understanding of your choice!

Re: Emotional abuse

Hey @Mintie,

 

I totally second what @TOM-RO said about being open with your psychologist. Each client is different, so it's possible that they've suggested that course of action to other clients and it's been therapeutic for them, but it's important that they respect you and what you want to do.

 

As a few of the users before me have mentioned, there are many resources like the helplines already mentioned, but also heaps of great tools and apps you might want to try as well as seeking help in person.

 

Maybe creating a mind-map or writing down what you're feeling about this situation could even help your psychologist understand how your dad's behaviour has made you feel. Sometimes I write out some notes before I see a psychologist to make sure I stay on track and talk about the things that are bothering me, because when I get in there I can become a deer in the headlights.

 

Just know that you do deserve to see a psychologist who cares about what you want, not just about what they think will be best for you (and that one bad experience with someone who you didn't click with doesn't mean you won't find someone who is a great fit for you in the future). While a good psychologist will probably challenge your thinking and behaviours at times in order for you to grow and get better, they should still respect that, at the end of the day, your life is yours to control. I'm hoping that you'll be able to really be listened to so you can get through this and feel better soon.

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: Emotional abuse

@MisoBear thank you so much for the advice. Its sometimes hard for me to open up to people i barely know, even psychologists. so im going to try explaining myself more and hopefully we can move on from there

Re: Emotional abuse

You're so welcome. I find it difficult sometimes even though I've got a great relationship with my psych. It's not easy to see a psych but it's definitely worth it, so keep on keeping on if you feel you're making headway. You're doing so well in seeking help, so give yourself a pat on the back! 

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: Emotional abuse

@Mintie  I don't have much to add but I'm really annoyed by what your psychologist said. Whether or not to get in contact with your dad is not his decision to make. It's your life, not his. He shouldn't have been pushing his own ideas about what to do about your dad on you.

I think a good psychologist could go over the pros and cons of having contact with your dad but not tell you what to do, try to contact your dad for you, or ask leading questions like 'Wouldn't you feel better if you told your dad how you feel?'

Perhaps it would be a good idea if you explained what you wanted out of seeing your psychologist. I think most people would want a professional who is supportive of them and has empathy and listens. You could say, 'I appreciate that you're trying to act with good intentions but this is not what I want or need from these sessions.' I'm not sure if this is true or not, but you could also say that you currently want to focus more on coping with and processing the conflict and hurt caused by your dad rather than trying to re-establish a relationship with him.