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Feeling Low

Hi guys, I'm sorry I haven't been active again lately. My depressive episodes seem to be happening a bit more regularly lately because of constant stressors and crises about what the future holds.

On top of that, I feel like I've just lost someone I thought was a close friend, and I don't know why. He seems to have stopped talking to me like we used to and it happened almost suddenly about half a month ago, and this has got me really down. I feel like a burden when I try to start up our messaging, and he doesn't initiate anything. My friends are like family, so I'm really hurt by this and can't stop thinking about why.

I'm seeing a psychologist, who is lovely, but unfortunately won't get to see her for another few weeks due to time conflicts, so could use some extra support.

 

At the moment, I am diary writing a lot and trying to focus on keeping myself healthy and fit physically, and hoping my mental state will follow. Some days are good, and then suddenly they become quite bad again, and if anyone else has had a similar experience, I'd really appreciate some help in how you deal with it. Thank you ❤️

Re: Feeling Low

Hi @sweet_baking thanks for sharing with us, it sounds like you have been having a tough time. I'm sorry to hear what has happened with your friend, it's not a nice position to be in particularly when we don't know the reason. I'm wondering if he knows how you feel or if you have asked him? You seem like a really caring and lovely person who would be great to have as a friend. It's good to hear that you are seeing a psychologist for some support and practicing some self-care. During the times that you are struggling, have you thought about contacting KHS or eHeadspace for a chat? We're here for you Heart

Re: Feeling Low

Thank you for sharing @sweet_baking ... it's inspiring to hear of how wonderfully self-caring you are being during what sound like really tough depressive episodes. 

So sorry to hear about the friendship loss - that must be really painful. Glad to hear you have a supportive psychologist - but it's often a struggle to see therapists as regularly as we would like. 

Who else is supporting you at the moment? 

 

I know so many of us on this forum have similar experiences .. especially with the good days, and then having really down days. It can be so difficult. 

Go you for finding things that help, and for reaching out for support. HeartHeart

Re: Feeling Low

hello @sweet_baking

i dont have much to add to what others have said but i wanted to let you know that im hearing how hard things are for you. hugs Heart

@DruidChild @Bee @missep @roseisnotaplant @LeoTheLion @blobby may have some advice to offer...
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Feeling Low

Hey @sweet_baking firstly I want to congratulate you on being so self-caring and proactive in seeking extra help while you wait for your next psychologist appointment! <3 x

I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling low recently. I sympathise as I've also been struggling a bit with my mood recently. The feeling of loosing a friendship is never a good one Smiley Sad it can feel pretty lonely and when it seems to come from nowhere it is okay to feel down and grieve the friendship. I do wonder if you've been able to let your friend know how you are feeling about the friendship atm?

You are doing all the right things taking care of your body by keeping fit and healthy Smiley Happy
In my experience it has been normal for some days to be good and then others bad, and to kind of jump between them when there are external stressors and worry. For me on my bad days I give myself time to rest, lately it's been lots of netflix and colouring in! I try to escape my situation and life for a while and just be in the moment of the show and colouring in. I've also enjoyed the couple days I've been able to get outside into sunshine! (which can be a challenge when non-weight bearing on my dominant side)

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Feeling Low

Hi @Lan-RO@gina-RO@scared01 and @Bee, thank you all for being so supportive, I really appreciate it ❤️ 

In regards to the friend situation, I did end up meeting up with him but it felt like everything was completely normal, and we just hung out as always. I think I might be realising that he has gotten so busy lately that he cannot keep up with the usual contact we had, and there's nothing else to it. I'm not as down about it because I think we are still friends, but just think he could've mentioned how much busier he is now, or given some sort of warning. Guess I can accommodate his flakiness (and now understand his way of communication better) because he's still a genuinely nice person who doesn't intentionally hurt anyone.

 

At the moment, I'm being completely supported by family and friends (who are also pretty much family) so I feel almost guilty for having bad days. When I have so much emotional support, it doesn't feel right to feel down, and not have the get up and go attitude I need to succeed in future events coming up.

 

@Bee, I'm sorry to hear you've also been struggling with your mood lately (though netflix and colouring in is amazing ways of self-care). I may not have been online recently but please know I'm here to support you whenever you need it, I will try to do better ❤️

And thank you all for validating that it's ok to have both good days and bad. I'll try my best to be more self-compassionate regarding down days, so that I can get up more motivated on the good ones. 

Re: Feeling Low

Hi @sweet_baking, lovely to hear you are practicing some self care in difficult times. I feel like that with my friends sometimes too, but I'm sorry about it of course. Is there anyway that you can receive some counselling online, or even just talking to someone? I think Kids Helpline might be able to help.

Every one here on Reachout is able to help you and provide some support.

Sending love and prayers,

blobby

Re: Feeling Low

@sweet_baking I'm glad things worked out with your friend. Could it be he was so busy he forgot to let you know? Sometimes bussiness can explain flakiness.

Please don't beat yourself up, you are allowed to experience your emotions as they come regardless of how much support you have. Remember that it's normal to experience emotions and you shouldn't feel guilty for that ❤

Thanks ❤ it is what it is. I know a bit of the low mood is situational at the moment with the whole foot thing and not being able to walk on it and drive etc so I'm trying to be kind to me. Yes I'm so much more aware of my self-care and am good an emsuring I do something self-care related everyday 😍 thats totally okay that you haven't been online. I understand that things get busy and that is okay. You are very welcome, validating that its okay has been one thing that has helped me along the way so I figure it may help 🙂

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Feeling Low

hello @sweet_baking

im glad things have worked out between your and your friend. it can be hard to loose friends, but im glad it worked out. i hope that youll still be able to communicate and catch up often though.
Having emotional support is great! but it doesnt mean you cant have your bad days. everyone has hard days even if they dont have mental health issues, try not to be to hard on yourself.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Feeling Low

Hi @Bee@blobby and @scared01, thank you so much for your kind words  One of my other friends' family members was in hospital recently, so I've been supporting her and I'm trying to push my own issues aside at the moment, but it's all accumulating and sometimes I still can't get out of bed. But will keep trying - I'm thinking of restarting my blog, now that my exam is over, returning to volunteering and focusing on improving myself in different ways to keep my mind on track.

Not really forgot I think, he just is a bit flaky in general because he is so busy, and I'm learning that now. We aren't as close as we used to be overall, but it's ok, I'm starting to be in a better place regarding this, so thank you for being so supportive Smiley Happy

 

@Bee I can completely understand how those low moods depend on circumstance, but it's wonderful that you are focusing on you and actively practicing self-compassion Smiley Happy How long before you will be able to walk or drive, and how is the recovery process going for you? That's awesome, self care everyday is the goal! So happy for you Smiley Very Happy