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Friends.

To sum it up, I have no friends. I started uni this year, so basically the high school experience all over again. I have made no friends there. I really hate going cause everyone is talking to someone, and there I am siting by my self at the back. My high school "friends" weren't really friends, and we've all lost contact. I feel very lonely, and lately it's caught up to me with my depression and anxiety worsening. I don't have any issues talking to people, but I don't like intitating. I probably small talk with one or two people besides my family a week, which is more forces conversation. I honestly don't know what to expect out of me posting this.

Hope everyone enjoyed their day.

Re: Friends.

Hey @friz and welcome.

First of all, I noticed your post on another thread and was amazed. You are a great person.
Most high school friendships don't last, that's true. But that's okay as well, it leaves room to make new friends and relationships.
Being able to talk to people is a great skill! Have you tried going into any groups? Seeing a new member can prompt people to start up a conversation with you, so you don't have to iniate.

Have you spoken to anyone professionally? A counsellor or so, online, over the phone, email or in person? Seeking some professional advice might help you with anxiety and depression. Do you feel you are able to talk to your family about how you are feeling too?

Keep us updated,
NW

Re: Friends.

Hey @friz, welcome to RO!

 

I really feel you on this, since I was in the exact same situation when I started at uni. I slowly lost contact with all of my highschool friends, and by semester 2 I was practically friendless and incredibly depressed. I also had trouble initiating conversations in my classes, since I was so shy and preferred if other people talked to me first.

 

I second @N1ghtW1ng's suggestion about finding groups or clubs to join. There are so many different clubs out there for all sorts of interests, and it's so much easier to make friends in them, since you all have similar interests. That was how I ended my friendless streak, and it can even provide opportunities to take on leadership positions in them (super useful for padding out the resume!) This factsheet has some more information on how to socialise

 

You also might want to get in touch with your uni's counsellor, or check out your local headspace centre. Although if the idea of meeting someone face-to-face is a bit too intense, try eheadspace first.

 

Try some of these suggestions out, and let us know how things go Smiley Happy

 

By the way - have you intro'd yourself on our September introductions thread??

Re: Friends.

@N1ghtW1ng I have in the past. The school counsellor and an external youth counsellor. Both in hindsight were a waste of time cause of a whole bunch of reasons. There is no way I can afford to spend money on seeking professional advice.

 

There is no one I can talk to, including family.

 

@safari93I have checked the clubs which are offered at my uni and there all shit.

 

The only problem/issue I have with seeing the uni's counsellor, is that history is going to repeat itself.

 

Thanks for your guy's advice @N1ghtW1ng @safari93

 

Re: Friends.

Hey @friz, I understand why you'd feel like history could repeat itself by going to see the uni counselor if your last experience didn't go as you'd hoped, try not to let a not so good previous experience deter you from trying again. Sometimes a person might just not have clicked with a previous counselor, or maybe they weren't in the right space to speak to a couselor that day.

 

Speaking with headspace or eheadspace as @safari93 mentioned could also really help. They're really great services that allow you to ease into, so there's not pressure at all if you decide to get in touch with them.

Re: Friends.

@friz it might be worth going to have a chat with the uni counsellor, at least to see how they are. It can take a few goes to find the right person for you, because every counsellor is different.

Let us know how you go.