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Friendship Breakup

Hey Guys,
Um so I've been lonely. My best friend of two years ditched me about two weeks ago. Apparently I had been talking behind her back... Had literally just been asking another friend questions to try and fix things with her. She's not really been talking to me since end of year 12. She accused me of talking behind her back on a status on facebook, where she also said she had been avoiding me because I was too negative. I got diagnosed with depression at the start of year 12 and she was my main support. It's kinda hit hard because she said she would always be here for me. Don't really know what else to write but now I feel I can trust no one and I am incredibly lonely.

Re: Friendship Breakup

Hey @Grake,

 

Thanks for sharing your story with us. Friendships are the best and also most difficult beasts sometimes. They take a lot of work and support, and sometimes we all get caught up in our own things and forget to communicate with our besties. When this happens, it is usually helpful to check back in and talk to each other about how we're feeling. I noticed that a lot of the conversations you mentioned didn't appear to be directly with each other. Do you think there is a possibility that you could start talking directly again? Would you consider writing a letter to let her know how the loss of her support has made you feel?

Re: Friendship Breakup

@Kit thanks for responding. I have thought about writing a letter, it is how I offen communicated my feelings in the past to her... And as for the talking directly to her I've been trying for several months to try and understand why things had changed between us, I know it's wrong but I blamed it on her boyfriend a lot. But yeah the talking got to the stage that she wasn't really talking to me and that stressed me cause I had no explanation why.

Re: Friendship Breakup

I think writing her a letter is a really positive step forward @Grake. It will give you a chance to explain your side of the story, and let her know how important her friendship has been to you. At the very least, it will open up the lines of communication between the two of you again.

 

How are you managing the stress of this stuation? Are you using any coping techniques? We've got a whole bunch if you're looking for new things to try!

Re: Friendship Breakup

Hey @Grake

 

Friendships and communication after year 12 can be tough when you're not seeing each other every day! As @ElleBelle said, writing a letter to clearly express how you're feeling sounds like a great thing to do, to make sure that there's no misunderstanding between the two of you. It sounds like you care about your friend a lot and that you really value her friendship and support.

 

ReachOut have a whole section of resources dedicated to dealing with feelings of loneliness. Have a look and see what you think!

 

How are you doing today? We're hear to listen and support you on the RO forums whenever you need. Smiley Happy

Re: Friendship Breakup

Hi @Grake, how are you today?  It sounds like your friendship blues have left you feeling pretty lost and hurt.  It can be really upsetting when friendships go sour, but sometimes they can be mended and, if not, it can leave the door open to meeting other new and exciting people.  What was different when your friendship was going better?  Who else important do you have in your life right now?

 

The importance of communicating has already been mentioned above, and here are some tips that might help you.  They include tips for having difficult conversations (which might be worth checking out), and here are some listening skills that could be beneficial.  Personally, if I am about to have a difficult convo, I look at the clock and figure out when it will be finished!

 

I hope some of this helps, and let us know how you are going!