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Gender Identity and Sexuality

Gender is something I have struggled with for a long time. I am clear of how I identify now sexually (bisexual) and gender wise (FtM transgender), but unfortunately it was not always so clear.


I live in a small town where there is not a big LGBT+ community, so I never gave my sexuality or gender much thought while growing up. Because of this, I didn’t really realise how I identified for a long time, and when I started to realise that I didn’t identify as straight or a cis gender female, I started to question myself.


It started when I had a crush on a girl at my school. I thought I was bisexual because I had a crush on a boy a year before, and I was right about that. But later that year I started to question my gender identity. At first I thought I was gender fluid, and then trans, and then gender fluid again. This when around in a loop for about 6 months. You see, I was confused, mainly because I still enjoyed dressing up and wearing make up, but then one night, I was watching “The Dressmaker”, and everything became clear, thanks to Hugo Weaving’s character Sergeant Farrat. I realised that I did identify as a cross dressing trans boy.


I have not come out yet, and I am quite afraid to. I am pretty sure most people have caught n to all of my hints, however I do not feel ready to confirm their assumptions, and it doesn’t feel like I ever will. I am searching for any advice that anyone can give me, and it would be greatly appreciated.



Re: Gender Identity and Sexuality


Welcome to the ReachOut forums and thank you sharing your story with us @N1ghtW1ng, @Bee @DruidChild @letitgo. We are hear to listen and support you Smiley Happy Coming out can be stressful, and many of our forum members can relate to these experiences. Conversations about gender and sexuality can seem difficult to have with loved ones even, as you said, when you feel they already know.


ReachOut also has some great resources on coming out here, including a video of one young person's experiences here


You mentioned feeling afraid to be open about gender and sexuality with those closest to you, and this is a really common experience- you are not alone Heart are there any particular concerns you have about having these conversations? And if so, what are your main fears?



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Re: Gender Identity and Sexuality

Hey @OHA, thanks for your post. It really sounds like you have been on a long journey in discovering who you are. Many people here have been through similar things, and I noticed that @Jess1-RO has already tagged in a number of people who might be able to help you. I might also tag @redhead and @Bookworm2004 as they have been on quite a journey with gender identity as well!


I noticed Jess has also linked you with some great resources which might be good for you to take a look at.


Please keep us updated. ❤️

Re: Gender Identity and Sexuality

Hi @OHA and Welcome to RO Smiley Happy

It sounds like quite a journey you have been through already, and I'm impressed with your strength and courage to share that with us <3

Gender and sexuality isn't something I have much experience or knowledge with, so I'm not entirely sure how to help, but I wanted to acknowledge your strength and journey Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Gender Identity and Sexuality

hi @OHA everyones given some great suggestions 


another site that might be helpful is also Qlife

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Gender Identity and Sexuality

Hi @OHA, so I have been and still am in your situation. I identify as trans (FtM) but I believed I was genderfluid for a while.  By a while I think it was about 4 months.


Anyway I am currently in the process of coming out and I am nervous because I don't know family will react or anything and it might seem difficult at the moment but no matter whatyou need to believe in yourself. Tell yourself that one day you will be who you are. Tell yourself that this is who I am even if people disagree. I have had to do this and I am still doing it at the moment just to help me with dysphoria and just life.


Advice - just be who you are no matter what. I know it might seem hard at times but no one can change who you are. Be brave. Be strong. Be handsome. Be yourself. 😊

Re: Gender Identity and Sexuality

Hey there @OHA Smiley Happy

It's awesome that you know how you want to express and identify yourself Smiley Happy How are things going?