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Guilt all the time

Now with online school in, my grades are going down I’m having trouble focusing. I feel like I’m letting them down, I try over and over to get everything handed in on time but I just can’t. Most people feel trapped but I feel different, like putting a horse in a pen that’s too big, the horse doesn’t know what to do or where to go. The horse living in fear if it is doing something wrong. Not wanting to upset anyone but feeling that everybody hates him. Not being able to make a single decision for itself. Needing help with almost anything. Lost and confused.

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Re: Guilt all the time

Hi @Deacon198, welcome to ReachOut and thank you so much for sharing that with us. It is a pretty difficult time that we are all going through and it is affecting everyone one of us so differently. Focusing can be such a challenge during this time and everyone is adjusting to a new way of learning. It is understandable that this might be begin to affect your grades. These are no ordinary circumstances that students are facing right now!

A lot of things that have usually been simple and easy can begin to feel overwhelming and heavy. This can relate to others areas of your life, not just study. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling like this Heart When you said 'let them down', who are you referring to? I was also wondering whether you have talked to your teachers or parents about how you have been feeling? We are here to listen Smiley Happy

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Re: Guilt all the time

Hi @Deacon198! Welcome to the forums!

I'm so sorry that your grades are going down and you feel like you're letting people down. Smiley Sad I think it's important to be kind to ourselves with the whole pandemic stuff happening, and to keep scheduling in time for self-care. We are all human and are just trying to do the best we can despite how difficult it is at the moment. Heart
Have you tried any apps or tools to help improve your focus?

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Re: Guilt all the time

@Deacon198 I'm sorry you feel that way. It's okay if you don't get the best grades etc, in my opinion the education puts too much pressure on people these days so it's hard. You're not alone, lots of people don't get the grades they want. It's okay, your grades don't define you. You did your best and that's all that matters 

 

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Re: Guilt all the time

Transitioning to online school is a big change, I think it's to be expected that it's going to shake things up for you. I imagine that you're not trying any less than you were before (you might even be trying harder!), what's causing you to struggle could be that things that were helpful to you before aren't in place now, and/or the stress or current circumstances. I know that when I've had those experiences it's made me feel lost, and I didn't meet a lot of my own expectations at those times. What I usually find is that the reason I'm not meeting those expectations is because I built them up at a time when I was better equipped to do it all. I find that acknowledging that and being kind to myself is a good first step in getting myself back on track.

If you find that you're missing things that helped you before, perhaps identifying them and putting something similar in place could really help too! These could be things like a designated place to study, a quiet environment, guidance, socialising while you study, not socialising while you study, or a getting ready routine, to name some examples. I believe in you to find solutions that work for you Smiley Happy
One other thing I think is important to note is that it's okay if you try things and they don't work. Maybe they'll work the second or third time, or maybe something different will be better. We all learn through trial and error, and it's only human to not be perfect all the time.