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Happy thoughts?

Hey guys,
I've been having a pretty craptastic few days. I've been in a down mood all weekend, had the hardest session yet with therapy yesterday, and realised things aren't all that perfect with my partner.
SO! What I was thinking if you could tell me what you concentrate on when you're having a tough time. Like happy thoughts, memories, things to do for distractions. Cause at the moment I'm stuck, and can't get out of my head.

Re: Happy thoughts?

Hi @Chonty 

I know what that's like. Sometimes it just all comes at once and you need a little time to sort of decompress and give your brain a rest.

 

Personally, I like to get outdoors and just go for a walk and look around at whatever catches my eye as I walk, looking for little details, like a crack in a footpath or a plant growing in a window, and thinking about what the story is of how they got there.

If that's not possible, I play video games a bit — they distract me suitably while also keeping my mind active.

 

That aside, in terms of problems in relationships, I've always found communication is the key. I talk to my partner about whatever is bothering me and we discuss it — I don't always get the result I hoped for but just talking about it is often enough to make it feel less like a problem.

Re: Happy thoughts?

Thanks Lex, that's a good idea, finding stories for little things.
Unfortunately communication is what I struggle with a lot, but we're working on it :/

Re: Happy thoughts?

Hey @Chonty 

 

It sounds like you are going through a lot. Sometimes it is okay to have some off days because you are human but it is awesome that you are trying to find help and focus on the positive Smiley Happy I think anytime you have a relationship with anyone it will never be perfect but realising that is the first step to accepting that. Communication and honestly is definitely very important, it can be so hard at first but the long-term benefits are definitely worth it.

 

I do a lot of self-care when I'm having a tough time, sleep, TV time, Movies, reading, exercise. I find images or things from the past and just revisit. I think going back and seeing how far you came from then to now can very uplifting. 

 

What have you done to cope with your tough time?

 

Check out this factsheet on building better coping skills it might help.

 

Take care Smiley Happy

_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Happy thoughts?

Hey  @Chonty 

 

Great question!

I know for me that if I'm feeling really affected by an issue in my life that it helps when I feel like I'm doing something proactive about it.

There's some great books out there on relationships and communication. Have you thought about spending some time reading about ways to improve your relationship? And if you don't like reading then lots of them can be downloaded as an audio book which you could liten to as you're walking or exercising.

There are also lots of highly respected, credible relationship experts who now have Youtube clips where they discuss topics like improving communication skills or ways to navigate relationships.

Re: Happy thoughts?

Hi!

 

I'm worried that your therapy session was hard. My therapists are always very gentle, and I feel very at ease there. I'm never rushed, or pushed, or forced.

 

Next time you have a session, the first thing I would do is take control. Don't wait for your therapist to speak. Tell them that the last session was very hard on you, and that you don't appreciate it. It might make therapy more enjoyable?

 

Otherwise if you really don't like it, I would ask your friends and family about finding a new therapist. The biggest trouble I had was having doctors who didn't really get me. It took a lot of doctors (more than 6!) before I stumbled onto one that turned out to be a life saver.

 

Don't despair, be more proactive in your own care, especially if you are at the stage where you are reaching out for help.

Re: Happy thoughts?

Hi @tesla-weapon
The therapy is alright really, I have OCD/General anxiety issues so the sessions and the homework are usually based around pushing through these feelings and finding out they're not so bad. It was just a sucky session because I'm frustrated at how slow I'm progressing.
I can't believe you had to go through six doctors! That would have been nerve wracking.

Hey @ruenhonx & @NigioC Smiley Happy
I already do most of the coping techniques in the factsheet, which really are helpful, but sometimes things just fall into a routine and you need to try something different, if that makes sense. Although lately I've found listening breathing/mindfulness tracks while exercising works well

Re: Happy thoughts?

hey Chonty

 

i find it helpful sometimes to write a list of all the things that are causing you stress even a little to give your brain a rest. we all fall in to crap times and they can be aweful but what gets me through is knowing that there has to be good times ahead. 

 

just remember to write the bad times in sand and the good times in stone 

 

all the best 

JJR