First time I’ve ever done this, but I read on a site that it’s good to write things down about how your feeling. So I’m going to write down everything so far, and then just write as days go.
Since about April, I’ve been really down. I drifted away from my best friends, to the point that we don’t even talk anymore. I thought we just fell apart because I had a boyfriend. But now I think it’s because of me, because of my moods and how I’ve been feeling. I’ve become a person that doesn’t like leaving the house too often, only when I really have to. I don’t hang out with many of my friends anymore, and when I do I find them really annoying and irritating. Everybody annoys me with the simplest things. The only person I get along with anymore is my boyfriend. Things that everybody laughs at and should be funny, I don’t find funny. People that sit in class and won’t shut up, I want to punch in the face. Some days I am overly tired and have no energy, I just lay in bed all day. Some days I’m fine, I get up and go live my life laughing and having a good time. Other days I wake up fine, but by the end of the day everybody and everything pisses me off. There like mood swings really, except that mood swings don’t last for months at a time. It’s been over six months, and I live like this thinking its normal. But now I know it’s not, I look back at the person I was at the start of the year and I don’t even remember who she was. Last year everyone said that I was always smiling and that I was such a cheerful person, now everyone tells me to smile and that I always look depressed.
I had blood tests done at the end of last year and they said that my iron level was low. I’ve been on iron tablets ever since then. Two months ago they gave me the strongest iron tablets available and it just isn’t doing anything for me. So I started thinking what else it could be, internet researching, and it said most these things are a sign of depression. I took a depression checklist test today, and it told me that there’s a high chance that I have depression and that I should see a doctor as soon as possible. But I’m scared to see a doctor, I don’t think mum will believe me that I think I might have this. I don’t want to leave it untreated and feel like this all the time, but I don’t know what else to do. There’s no one I can talk to about it because I’ve pushed all my friends away.
I used to be a person that got along with everyone, had heaps of friends and loved spending time out doing things. To a person that doesn’t get along with anyone, judges everyone, and is rude, having hardly any friends and hate leaving the house.
Re: Help please.
Hi Teagan, good on you for hopping onto the forums. It is a huge step in iteself. It's great that you realise that your attitude and behaivour isn't normal compared to how you said you used to be.
Having taken the tests and seeing the results may have been a little shocking for you, but nothing to be ashamed of. You may not be close to your friends anymore, but you did say you and your boyfriend are. How about talking to him about it?
This might help you a little bit.
You could always go chat to the school counsellor at school about ithis. She may help you progress and moved past the mood swings and managing your emotions. It's a good place to start if you don't want to talk to anyone else and go to the GP. That way you can work together with what would be the best course of action for you. All the best to you.
Re: Help please.
_sagira_ has some great advice there.
Realistically, if your Mum doesn't believe you, she'll at least believe a doctor, right? It's a good idea to at least see your doctor and ask his advice. Doctors only want to help; seeing a doctor is the first step to getting better, so you don't want to delay it.
It can be tough not having someone to talk to, which is one reason why you're sharing with us. But if you need some quick advice or someone who will listen to you, give Kids Helpline a call. It's quick and they're so helpful: 1800 55 1800.
Let us know how you go, and take a look around the forums. There's some good topics at the moment that you might find really helpful. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
(Quick note: I saw you had two nearly identical topics posted in different forums, so, as the other one hasn't received any replies I've removed it)
Re: Help please.
First of all, congrats on sharing your story and opening up on here! Writing things down can definitely help you gain a different perspective and help you see things clearer!
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling a bit isolated, irritated and annoyed. You are right that these are symptoms of depression, but they are also symptoms of many other things and therefore, it's important to see a doctor or a mental health professional to have a chat about what's happening. Also, PLEASE don't take what online tests tell you to heart - they are only a guide and in no way a definite diagnosis! A doctor is the only person who can diagnose something! And worrying about the results is definitely not good - so see your doc!
It's great that you feel comfortable with your boyfriend, could you talk to him about how you are feeling and see if he can come with you to see a doctor?
I'm not sure how old you are, but if you are over 15, you are able to get your own medicare card and can therefore see a doctor without your mum knowing! Another great option is a school counsellor - do you know if your school has one? Could you talk to them?
Or as Lex has suggested, Kids Help Line are a great option too!
You should be so proud in taking the first step in telling people what's happening, but now the next step is to get some more help! You can do this! And we are here if you want to ask more specific questions about what the GP or school counsellor might ask or anything else that you are concerned about. Many of us have been in a similar position in the past and are more than happy to share our own experiences.
Please reach out for help - you don't deserve to feel this way!
Re: Help please.
Hi, i recently went to the doctor with depression, it was after the break up of an emotionally draining two and a half year relationship. i felt suicidal and empty after losing my best friend and carrying the responsibility of her emotional insecurities. My doctor was very friendly and helpful. We talked about the specifics of my situation, i was given a referal to a psycologist and started taking some antidepresent medication. Weeks later i am feeling alot better. Talking to someone is the best start to improving your state of mind. If your worried about talking to your mum, start by talking to a school counsellor, or someone you trust. Maybe they can help you talk to your mum and help with contacting a doctor and setting up a more permanent form of counselling. Im 30 now but reading your post you sound alot like i did. I wish i found help when i was younger, i would be better informed and equipped to deal with what life is throwing at me now. Take care !!
Re: Help please.
[…] I wish i found help when i was younger, i would be better informed and equipped to deal with what life is throwing at me now. Take care !!
Hi casta! Thanks so much for sharing your story and welcome to Reach Out. We hope you can stick around and share more with everyone here.
Teagan: how are things going with you now?
Things to check out:
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