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Help us both..

I just broke up with my girlfriend.. I've just finished year twelve and I've made so many sacrifices to be with her, and I was ready to wait the long time it took to let her finish school to start a life together.<br><br>As empty and lonely as I feel it's not the bigger problem, it's her. For a long time she's had major mental health issues, as I have myself but hers are on a much larger scale. She's recently been seeing doctors and psychologists which she wasn't getting much out of. It's all because of her growing up with an abusive father. She finally felt ready telling doctors about it to get better and so forth when her mum suddenly told her she's not allowed to any more because they didn't want child support taking the youngest daughter away.<br><br>Now she's worse off than ever, she has gone from despising being at home, to ready to blow the place up.., for months she's said I'm her only support and comfort in her life and to be honest she was mine too.. She only found out yesterday that she's been accepted to skip year 11 and do year 12 just so she can move out sooner.. Before yesterday she was already suffering from severe depression and anxiety and now I'm worried that she's going to hurt herself or do something stupid or do drugs or something and I'm so scared for her because I love her so much.<br>If I just knew she was going to be safe and okay I know I could accept and move on from the break up... But she's not and I don't know what to do please help
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Re: Help us both..

I never deserved her anyway so never mind how we broke up or anything
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Re: Help us both..

Please is someone there
I'm terrified
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Re: Help us both..

Hey Duck fear!

 

Firstly I'd like to say welcome to OR, I see this is your first set of posts so welcome! I'd also like say you've taken a massive first step in finding the solution, that being reaching out for the help which really takes strength so massive shout out to you for that! Well done!

 

There is a lot of people here willing to help, most of the senior members being able to give much better advice then I but I'll try anyway.

 

Firstly, I am really sorry to hear that you broke with your girlfriend that you clearly love a lot, really sorry. You say you don't care about your own problems and you're really worried about her, well that shows you must be an extremely caring person and that's an amazing quality to have!

 

I'd also like to really stress the importance of looking after yourself, having a someone in your life who has these issues can have an affect on you and you need to take care of yourself as well! So please remember to take care of yourself! It also really important because you've said that you also have some mental health issues so must also remember to try and deal with them as well! Take care of yourself!

 

By the sounds of it, her parents are not allowing her to see doctors and by everything I can decrypt she is under 18. There are services out there that you can use in terms of counseling that you can use anonymously. I'll list them for you.

 

Lifeline has both phone (13 11 14) and online counseling which you can use anonymously.

eheadspace has both phone and online counseling which you can use without your parents knowing about. I've personally used the online counseling in my time of need and it's an amazing service!

 

Kidshelpline has both phone and online counseling which you can, once again, use without your parents knowing about.

 

All of these services are amazing and I'd suggest suggesting them to your partner and for yourself. Also, if you or your partner are feeling suicidal or are in immediate danger please call crises hotline that Lifeline offers, the number being 13 11 14

 


Take care of yourself mate.

 

 

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Re: Help us both..

Hey Duckfear 

 

You are so amazing to get help for both of you and you should be proud about that because you are doing something about it.  There is so much going on for you because you care for her so much and she is also going through so much and it must be overwhelming for you both. 

 

Tempus has given you some great suggestions and I hope you can use them as well as direct her to them as well. She is young and you are young too and I can see how worried you are, does she have other family members she can talk to or stay with? 

 

 

_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**
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Re: Help us both..

Hey Duckfear,

 

There are also some really great stories from other young people on ReachOut.com that might help you out.

 

Here are two but there are plenty more;

http://au.reachout.com/My-abused-girlfriend

 

http://au.reachout.com/Waking-up-to-breaking-up

 

It can sometimes be really helpful reading how other people deal with similar issues.

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Re: Help us both..

Hi Duckfear,
First of all I want to say that its great that the fact that you've taken the step of trying to find help for your girlfriend is amazing. It really does show how much she means to you and it sounds as though you have been an amazing support to her.

 

The other users have given you some great advice so I won't overload you too much - I just wanted to show my support.

If you do want to do some more reading ReachOut have a great section on how to help friends/loved ones who are going through a tough time (http://au.reachout.com/Tough-Times/Getting-help/Helping-myself-and-others).
Have a read of some of those articles.

 

I also want to make sure that you're looking after yourself. Often when you're worried about loved ones you forget to take care of your own mental health. I understand this is a very stressful time and you are very worried about your girlfriend but just make sure you're also looking out for your own emotional health.