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Re: How do I get over it?

Glad to hear that you got some support @DruidChild. There is also a chance that you aren't making it up. Often unfavourable and traumatic memories are hidden and repressed in our minds. How you feel is still valid and frightening even if you can't remember everything. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to switch between 'real' and 'not real'. You are a really valuable member on the forums and the support you provide is heart-warming. I can only imagine what support can you provide as a nurse once you are qualified. It seems like you care a lot for those around you and as long as you use this to drive yourself, then there is nothing you can't do. There is no rush and you are working on things more than ever, that is the best that anyone can give. I hope you found a way to relieve how you have been feeling tonight as that is a lot to carry Heart

Re: How do I get over it?

Thank you @Taylor-RO. That’s really kind. My work placement starts tomorrow and I’ve never been this nervous for one before Smiley Sad I’m scared my craziness is going to screw it all up. 

Re: How do I get over it?

@DruidChild are the nerves for your placement around some of what you've talked about here/above?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: How do I get over it?

@Bee Yeah I’ve just kind of got this thought now that I’m not a good person because of the self harm and the eating stuff and the suicidality and all that and it wasn’t even something I thought about last time, so I’m nervous I’m going to be bad at this because of being unwell Smiley Sad People keep reinforcing that to me, even when they don’t mean to. 

I’ve also somehow got to convince the coordinator that I’m taking it seriously even though I already know I’ll have to take three absences due to stupid DBT. On my first placement, I only disclosed that I had panic attacks and I got a really good grade...on my second placements, I had to say I have bpd and I got worse grades...I don’t know if there’s a correlation but I’m scared of being judged or not given the same opportunities or consideration as the other students because of having a personality disorder. 

 

Plus my father made us all have family fun time! tonight which always makes me extra stressed and spacey so I’m not in a good head space to be doing something stressful Smiley Sad 

Re: How do I get over it?

@DruidChild that makes sense that you're worrying about this placement. It is normal to be worried about being judged or not given the same opportunities or consideration because of your mental health. However, I'm pretty sure that if you aren't given the same opportunities or considerations because of your mental health that it falls under discrimination.
I think the thing to remember is that you are good enough!
I'm sorry to hear you have to convince your coordinator that you're taking it seriously, do they not think you are?

Sounds like tonight was hard with your family. How are you feeling now?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: How do I get over it?

Hey @DruidChild Smiley Happy Sorry to hear you're feeling stressed about your work placement tomorrow - placement is a really nerve wracking thing. I've got to do a placement in 6 months time that I am already getting really nervous about to be honest Smiley Tongue I want to reiterate what some other users have said that I think you will make an amazing nurse because of how caring you are! <3 That's disappointing to hear that you think your grades might have been because of disclosing bpd but it was brave of you to be open with your coordinator. Did you find it was helpful to have disclosed those things?

Are you able to do anything to relax before heading to bed tonight?

Re: How do I get over it?

Hey @DruidChild its understandable that you would feel anxious about starting your placement and this anxiety / stress can make it really hard to manage the thoughts that can build up. I would hope that you would never be judged for your mental health journey, so I'm sorry if in the past you have felt this has happened to you.

 

Just remember to try and let go (easier said than done) of any self-critical thoughts, they are just anxiety and stress bubbling up to the surface and it will lessen each time you go to placement Heart

Re: How do I get over it?

Thanks everyone Heart

 

@Bee Thank you. I’m worried that they’ll think I’m not taking it seriously - but if I don’t go to DBT, my therapist will say I’m not taking that seriously haha.

I’m struggling tbh. I really want to die (I’ll be safe though). Everyday something else seems to happen to remind me that I have no power over my life or myself or my body Smiley Sad I think I’ll just go to bed and try to wake up feeling more optimistic! 

 

@May_ Thank you, and good luck with your placement, I’m sure you’ll do amazingly! Smiley Happy I wouldn’t say it was helpful, but I think it’s important to be honest. 

I’m just going to go to bed, sleeping usually helps when I feel this way. 

 

Thanks @Erin-RO, hopefully I will feel less anxious once I’ve met everybody there and have a better idea of what’s expected of me. 

Re: How do I get over it?

Is it possible to chat to your therapist about it @DruidChild? Maybe they could switch the time or provide you with a medical certificate? I'm also really sorry you're struggling at the moment, it does sound like there are a few things going on at the moment that may not be helping things. Thank you for being open with how you're feeling at the moment, it takes courage to voice these things and thank you for letting us know you'll be safe Heart

 

You've shown everyone on here so much support and compassion, we wish you all the best of luck with placement and are here if you need! 

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Re: How do I get over it?

@DruidChild it certainly sounds like a tricky and sticky situation between placement and DBT, I hope you're able to find a solution that works for you Heart
Going to bed and sleeping sounds like a great idea Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart