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I am a failure

*negative stuff* I hate myself so much. 

 

I have no idea how to expand this. I just, hate myself. I hate the way I act, the way I look and sound and speak and everything! 

I'm sick of trying to be nice, and friendly and a good person. I'm sick of being so alone and feeling and being complete shit. 

I hate feeling like I'm pretending, is it too much to ask to have real friends that hang out for no reason? I hate that I can talk and yet sometimes I can't! I hate being passionate about things I'll never be good at or achieve. I hate my stupid body and my stupid head. I hate me. 

Re: I am a failure

Hey @N1ghtW1ng, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Smiley Sad We’re here to listen if you need. Heart

Re: I am a failure

Can I just say that you are absolutely not a failure @N1ghtW1ng, even if it may feel like it sometimes. Case in point: this thread.

 

Is there anything in particular that's triggering these feelings? Heart

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No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: I am a failure

Hey @N1ghtW1ng, I think @lokifish is absolutely correct! Smiley Happy Please check out the link in their post, and really reflect on what people have written there. It might feel uncomfortable sometimes or even unrealistic, but please believe me when I say it’s the truth. Heart

 

How are you going today?

Re: I am a failure

@mrmusic @lokifish I'm sorry I haven't replied, I've been avoiding this post because I feel guilty but anyway.

These feelings have been bubbling away for a long time now. Partially because I'm so alone and also because I don't think very highly of myself. Uni is hard and assignments are hard. I try to tell myself positive things a lot, but it never sticks.

Re: I am a failure

@N1ghtW1ng can I ask why it's making you feel guilty? While I don't think any of those thoughts you've described are true, they're definitely pretty common and it doesn't reflect badly on you at all for having them Heart

 

How long have you got left at uni? I'm not sure I have a whole lot of helpful advice there, except that this will end one day and you'll have a degree to your name! Doesn't matter if you barely scrape through - Ps get degrees, after all

______________________________________________________
No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: I am a failure

@lokifish I have a year and a half left. (not looking forward to the intensive units I'll have to do during professional terms)
I feel guilty because I don't support other people in the tough times anymore. It doesn't seem fair.

I don't even know what's going on. I want to feel better.

Re: I am a failure

@N1ghtW1ng while I can see where those feelings of guilt might be coming from, I just want to remind you that it's okay if you're not offering a lot of support in the Tough Times threads -  it's important to look out for yourself first and foremost.

Uni is a pretty tough gig, and you're doing your best - well done for that!

Do you think you'd be up for a bit of a perspective shift? If so, what's been your favourite part of the week? 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: I am a failure

@letitgo I don't think I'm worth very much. I'm going to count Sunday as this week and say "Infinity War". Because it was amazing. No spoilers though (because it's still new)