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I am anxious.

Here we go, another post about this man again.

 

I drove past his house to find his ex wife was there. Then, I drove past his ex-wife’s house to find that his car there! She’s been at his house twice this week and even though I was told by her daughter that they’re just friends, I still believe they have feelings for one another. This makes me anxious as I have always had feelings for this man. He too admitted that he’d “always liked me but had kept it from me.” But I now think he’s lying. I don’t understand why she needs to be at his house and why he needs to be at her house in one night? They have a child together but the rumour is that he doesn’t bother to see her. This man is a bus driver and he still stares at me when he thinks I am not paying attention to my phone. He used to admire me as I was on his bus. There is a restraining order in place because I kept stalking him because I liked him and didn’t know how to convey that to him appropriately. I tried to explain this to him with no success. He also told me: “whatever medication you’re taking clearly isn’t working,” “you have more issues than previously thought,” “you’re not very clever,” and he got up in my face and screamed that I was a “retard.” He always uses his phone as he’s seated in the driver’s seat of the bus, which he isn’t allowed to do at all, and I’ve reported him time and time again for doing as such yet he gets away with it. 

 

Im sad because I want to be in this man’s life. I love him so much. He is the most attractive guy I have ever laid eyes on, and nothing will ever change that. 

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Re: I am anxious.

Hello @goldilocks , it sounds like you are in a very difficult situation right now. I am sorry to hear that it has been making you anxious and upset. Based on what you have mentioned, it sounds like this man has said some hurtful words to you in the past. Those words sound very hurtful, have you had a chance to talk to someone about how hearing those words made you feel? I have had a read over your previous posts and noticed that you receive support from a psychiatrist. Have you had a chance to see them and talk to them about what has been happening for you lately?