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Re: I am being harassed by a bus driver who has taken an extreme liking to myself.

Hi @goldilocks

It sounds like you're in a really difficult situation at the moment. It sounds like you feel drawn into talking with this man, as a way to discuss his colleague, a person you had a crush on, but did not reciprocate your feelings. I can understand how difficult it must be to try and limit contact when there is almost an addictive element to talking with him. I know that you mentioned earlier that you have tried to block him in the past, but I would really encourage you trying again. In situations like this, it is really important that we distance ourselves from people who are abusive and could harm us. 

 

Regarding 1800 respect, while they are excellent counsellors, and will happily talk to you about your feelings and how you're coping in this situation, they're also a really important resource when if comes to what your options are in situations like this. Because of their experience and expertise, they can give you tips and information around the law, keeping safe, and limiting contact. 

 

It's also really important that you give yourself space to grieve, process, and let go of your feelings for the colleague of this man. As you have said, both he and his colleague are toxic, and so letting go of both relationships would likely be the best option for your mental health and safety.

I am really glad to hear that you are going to start seeing a psychologist soon, and I am sure that you will gain a lot of help and support from them Heart It could be a good idea, that if you struggle to remember things to bring up things in the session, that you take some notes beforehand to being in as talking points. You can even show the different posts you've made on forums, as a way for them to read and understand what's happening. 

Re: I am being harassed by a bus driver who has taken an extreme liking to myself.

Hi @Janine-RO,

 

On Friday, I ceased contact with this bus driver through SnapChat completely. He actually removed me as a friend and then had the audacity to say the following:

 

"If you, after all the support and encouragement I have given you, and the trust I have in you, go against me or threaten any member of my family, I will treat as aggression, as I have told you about my wife (he told me she doesn't like it when he talks to other women, yet he was actively cheating on her by talking to me, since 2018), and I will retaliate if she even mentions you. I also have no way of contacting his wife. And don't forget, each time I block you, it's you that seeks me out again (although when I deactivated my SnapChat account once this bus driver saw me seated at the bus station at a shopping centre and he abandoned his bus at the bus interchange and walked from there to where I was seated, just to say to me: "Will you add me back on SnapChat?" He was almost begging for me to do as such.) So if you want my support, then stop with all this. But if not, and you damage my marriage, then expect the nasty side of me that I'd rather not be, but will if necessary. I'm the one person who gives a damn about you (this is NOT true, the one person who "gives a damn" about me is my mother.) 

 

So put this behind us.

Agree?" (He then removes me as a friend from SnapChat.)

 

He also called me a "dumb, little kid" for taking an interest in his colleague, who no longer obtains any interest in me. 

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Re: I am being harassed by a bus driver who has taken an extreme liking to myself.

Hi @goldilocks , 

 

I'm really sorry to hear that the bus driver is still making you feel so uncomfortable and threatened. 

 

I wanted to congratulate you for how much strength you've shown, in blocking him on SnapChat, seeing a psychologist, and reaching out here for help. 

 

You mentioned that you were going to have 6 sessions with a psychologist, did you find that helpful to help you through this situation? It sounds like it's been really stressful. It's great that you recognise that some of things he's saying to you aren't true- like you said, he is not the one person who gives a damn about you. 

 

From what you've shared here, it sounds like you are doing the right thing in blocking him and stopping all contact with him. How are you feeling about that? 

 

I know that we also mentioned 1800RESPECT to you as another place that you could find support to help you with this behaviour, did you find that helpful at all? 

 

 

__________

Check out our community activities calendar for March 2020 here
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Re: I am being harassed by a bus driver who has taken an extreme liking to myself.

Hi @Janine-RO,

 

I was seeing the psychologist about the bus driver I had actual feelings for, not about the driver who was harassing me sexually, although I plan to bring this up with the psychiatrist I am seeing on Monday. The six sessions focused on learning about different distraction techniques that I could use when I am feeling down. For example, I learned STOP. STOP means: S = Stop: freeze and take a deep breath. T = take a step back: mentally or physically. O = Observe: observe the situation. P = proceed mindfully. This involves thinking about appropriate ways to act in a given situation that has made you feel uncomfortable.

 

I reported this man to his manager and I also spoke with 1800 RESPECT. Both were very helpful. Unfortunately, I do not obtain a very good memory and so I am unable to recall and retell the words that were spoken to me by his manager and the counsellor from 1800 RESPECT, but them manager had basically given him a warning, and he was apparently very stern with him, and like the manager, the counsellor from 1800 RESPECT suggested that I report the bus driver to the police. I have already attended a police station to report him to a police officer but the police officer did not take me seriously. In spite of the police, I feel really proud of myself for standing up to a predator. I am yet to see him as I am running my daily errands. 

 

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Re: I am being harassed by a bus driver who has taken an extreme liking to myself.

Hi @goldilocks , 

 

I'm so sorry for the late reply, this message ended up in our spam and I just saw it then. 

 

It sounds like you've learned a lot of helpful distraction techniques from the psychologist that you saw, and it's amazing to read how brave you were in going ahead with speaking with 1800 RESPECT, and his manager. You say you feel  really proud of yourself for standing up to a predator and I ABSOLUTELY agree - you deserve to feel really proud of yourself. 

 

I hope that your visit with the psychiatrist went well. How are you feeling this week? 

__________

Check out our community activities calendar for March 2020 here
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Re: I am being harassed by a bus driver who has taken an extreme liking to myself.

Hi @Janine-RO,

 

Thank You for asking. I am feeling pretty low. I often feel low, especially on the weekends.I don't know if I should start a new thread and mention you in it, or comment on this one?   

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Re: I am being harassed by a bus driver who has taken an extreme liking to myself.

Hey @goldilocks 

 

You are welcome to continue with this thread Smiley Happy


I'm so sorry to read that you're feeling so low, especially after the strength and courage you have demonstrated recently.  Is there anything about weekends in particular that are hard for you?  What are some things you enjoy doing?