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I am so lost

Hi everyone , I’m really sorry to be so depressing, I’m not usually like this, I’m usually one of the most bubbliest and positive people I know , I love life and even now, I keep a really strong face and a strong smile

but I do would appreciate some advice

I have what I call ‘dilemmas’ here’s what happened:

1. My prom is coming up in 2 weeks and my friends for some reason organised a table and left me out (because they didnt know I was attending) , and since I’m a no-social-media person, I didnt really hear about it until later ; so I’m so bloody scared for this formal beacuse I have spent so much money and time on this I really do wanna have a good time but I feel like I’ll be that person sitting all by themselves !! 😂 for this reason i kinda feel like i have no friends right now 

2. I’ve liked this guy for 3 months (and I know you’re probably thinking that’s just a crush , but with me, crushes only last for 2 weeks max) so this was really surprising - I just dont like to ‘love’ someone because I’m scared of heartbreak , know it sounds stupid but i am, ive been let down too many times . But this guy, he is really charismatic (or was), he’s just so beautiful, and for about four weeks, we connected like hell, like there was something , a real bloody spark and then poof, all of a sudden he stops talking to me and for the past 3 months (since march), ive been trying to figure out just what i did wrong but it’s beacuse he thinks I’m a bad person because I like too many guys . So at first I thought of him as a friend so I told him my crushes and etc. but then i fell for his personality. But then when he ignored I tried to get over him by liking other guys but that didnt work and only made things worse as the guy thought i was some kind of sl*t but I’m not. I love him, but I’m too scared to say it. But I NEED TO SAY IT, or i know i will regret it for the rest of my time. But HOW???

hes been ignoring all my texts and at school he looks as though he doesnt know me and he avoids all ways to converse with me!!!!

like literally it would take a miracle for us to get back together again 

but I’m so scared to ask him out but I know that it;s really vital 

3. Also how can I tell when someone really likes me vs. just flirting with me beacuse I really cant differentiate sometimes!

 

thx so much for your help,

Greatly appreciated always ,

 

moon child xx

Re: I am so lost

Hey @Moonchild_26, it sounds like a lot is going on for you at the moment and I just wanted to say that it's great that you've chosen to talk about it and get support from others. I'm sorry to hear that things are a bit hectic at the moment, and I'll try to break down what you've talked about into the separate areas that you've put them in.

1. First of all, I'm sorry that you got left out of your friend's table at formal. That must be such a crappy feeling, and even if they didn't know you were attending, I totally get how you could feel a bit left out, especially with formal coming up. Is there any way that you could get an extra seat at that table, or is it a set-in-stone kind of thing? I went to a pretty chill school where I'm sure they would have moved an extra seat if we sent an email in, but I'm unsure as to what your circumstances are. As to the night itself, my personal experience was that we spent so little time sitting down anyway that it didn't matter too much! I sat at a table with my date's friends instead of my own and I was super anxious about missing out on time with my friends, but as soon as people are getting up for photos, and dancing etc,. anyone could go wherever. Again, I don't know how your school works but it's definitely a possibility that you'd be able to still spend a whole lot of time with your friends Smiley Happy

2. I don't think it's stupid to be scared of heartbreak, I think it's a perfectly normal feeling for some people to experience when they've been let down by other people before. Do you know for sure that this guy isn't talking to you as much anymore because he thinks you like too many guys? If that's the case, it could just be that he doesn't know you like him, and he's intimidated by the fact that you've expressed interest in other people. Guys can be weird, and it may just be the case that he's a bit threatened by other people! Either way, you have nothing to lose by being open and honest with your feelings, as even if they're not returned then you end up with a much clearer image in your head regardless. That being said, I know it's definitely not as easy as it sounds, and if you dont feel like its your time then thats perfectly ok too!

3. It's a tricky issue for sure! i think a lot of people express interest in different ways, but it may be worth seeing how they act around other people vs. the way they act around you. From my personal experience, you'll be able to tell if they like you because they'll treat you differently! Hope that helps somewhat Smiley Happy

Let me know how everything goes!
-BoM

Re: I am so lost

Hi BoM,

thank youuuu so so so much for this 

i actually read it last night but was so overwhelmed at the kindness , i felt like i didnt know how to write a good enough reply

and so I’m reallly sorry for the extremely late reply but I just got back from school (i am a nerd and do a lot of extra curricular shiz 😂😁

but i just want to thank you so so mcuh

yesterday night was terrible 

it was one of those days but you literally turned it upside down; knowing that someone else knows what I’m going through is a great great relief 

and the fact that you acknowledge it cos some of my friends do reckon I’m a bit of a drama queen (i mean i am but yesterday wasnt an act)

and thanks to you I slept with 0 tears last night and had a FANTASTIC day today 

1.so table problem, unfortunately our school is really strict and the max number of ppl in table is 12 BUT i found out two of my guy friends were also loners so now we’re doing like a trio table and we’re trying to find other ppl who also have no table !!!

so I’m really really happy that i have someone to lean on and i also talked to my friends and they all said we spend most time dancing anyways !!!
so theres a miracle right there

2. and guy problem - well still same cos i didnt see him today but if i do see him tomorrow i might talk to him; i actually dont know the real WHY he stopped talking to him, and i feel like if I knew , i would have a better chance of movin on. Also sometimes i have this weird feeling and i feel like i dont really ‘like’ him that much but i used to but the feelings have faded sooo mcuh 

and no matter how much i wish it i duuno if it will ever go back to the same 

also theres another cute guy in my lit class and he keeps smiling at me, and its so hard not to have some feeling for him, but then i feel bad bc I’m supposed to liek Trent only ? Is this normal? 

I mean I’m not ‘with’ Trent so i guess its ok. I mean if i was with him, i would never flirt with anyone else, but at high school its all so messed up and complicated 

But to you, I WANT TO THANK from the bottom of my heart 

thank you

i reallly needed to hear those words 

thank you so mcuh once again

i hope you have a great night and a wonderful tomorrow- hope miracles are heading ur way (as i pray they to mine as well!!)

 

moonchild xx

 

Re: I am so lost

Hey there @Moonchild_26,

I don't have much in the way of relationship advice, it's not a topic I'm very familiar with but I do know that feelings are weird and they change all the time depending how you're feeling, what's happening in your life and more. Sometimes talking to them can be the best way to help sort out the situation, I hope it goes well for you Smiley Happy

In regards to the table problem, I totally understand where you're coming from. I had a similar situation happen when I was in my final year, myself and two of my friends ended up writing our names on a new table instead of with different friends and we were the only three at that table (we weren't liked Smiley Tongue). Huge tables made for twelve, and there were three seats on it Smiley Tongue Basically, it's okay if there's only three people! Smiley Happy It's awesome that you found a couple of friends to sit at your table, and opening it up to other people without a table sounds like a fantastic idea Smiley Happy I hope you end up having a wonderful night! Maybe if you do end up with just the three of you, you can have a laugh at however they decide to set the table up Smiley Tongue

Re: I am so lost

Yeah thats what i thought too that a table of 3 might be fun cos they are pretty weird and funny and so mcuh like myself , like around them, i can be who i truly am, and they wont judge me
I will try my best to ask the guy out, because ive liked him for so long i feel like i’ll Regret it if i dont
U have any advice on how to do that ? Because i do find it pretty daunting to go up to someone and tell them my feelings !!

Re: I am so lost

@Moonchild_26 sounds like you've found a great solution to the table problem! Hope it's a blast Smiley Happy

It's okay to find it daunting! I reckon the vast majority of us find it nerve wracking to ask someone out, no matter how much practice we've had at it. Do you have his number? I know for me, texting is sometimes easier than talking to someone in person Heart
______________________________________________________
No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: I am so lost

I do have his number but the thing is we haven’t had like a good conversation lately and he’s ignored a couple of my texts a few times
Like he reads them but doesnt reply even though it’s a question that is like no too hard to answer
Like we’ll be talking about something and i’ll Start to think that he’s returning to his old self and then poof! He’s gone again
And even at school he seemed a bit ‘aggressive’
I know he has some stuff going on but More than once ive asked him if hes ok but he says hes fine
But I sort of feel he isn’t !!
I want to ask him out tomorrow bc formal is next Saturday !!
Wish me luck , i’ll Need all the courage in the world !

Re: I am so lost

@Moonchild_26 ah, that sucks Smiley Sad

Unfortunately there's not always a lot we can do if somebody isn't ready to talk about stuff. By showing that you're there for him, hopefully he'll come around in time Smiley Happy

Good luck!! Let us know how it goes! Remember that even if it doesn't go well (not saying that will be the case! But just in case he is a bit weird) it's not the end of the world Heart
______________________________________________________
No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: I am so lost

Thank you !!! Sure will let u know 💓fingers crossed i actually cross his path so i can have a conversation with him !!!!

Re: I am so lost

Hey there @Moonchild_26, how is everything going?