I can't stand anymore.

[CCZ]

I felt very lonely and "empty" 4 years ago. I even thought of an attemption of suicide. When i was at my lowest i met my current GF. I was very happy because she made me feel special and rescued me from myself. We're in a perfect relationship, however, i've been feeling even worst than i did 4 years ago. It's not about my gf but about my family. I was a very talkative and positive kid but i turned into a silent and soulles person. My family never asked why, they never wanted to talk. Nowadays it's just my mom, she is full of negativity and i feel like i'm being suffocated. I don't hide it i yell at her, i try to reason with her but they're all in vain. I feel like bumping my head against a wall. She always puts the blame on other things. I don't expect my family to give me motivational speeches, i only want silence, respect and care. I don't know how to do it and it's killing me. I have no bestfriend, i have no family member. I can talk with my gf but i don't want to upset her with my depressive stuff. I'm trying to both prepare for Uni entrance exam and a job interview which can open a door for a super career. I have passion but i cannot lift all these weights on my shoulders. I'm sorry for bothering you but i feel very messed up and i only have 3 months to get prepared for my exam and the job interview. I must put myself together as soon as possible. I wish you a great day.

[Hannah-RO]

Hey @CCZ 

So sorry to hear that you're going through such a rough time. It sounds like you have so much on your plate and it must all be really overwhelming, especially when you feel like you can't talk to your loved ones about it. I really feel for you @CCZ 

You are so strong to have gotten through everything you went through four years ago, that must have been such a rough time and I just want to highlight that you were able to get through that and you should be really proud of yourself. Was there anything from that time that really helped you that you think might be able to help you now?

Family conflict is so tricky, I'm sorry you're going through this with your mum. It must be really tough feeling disrespected and unheard. We have a content piece here about talking to parents about mental health which might have some useful information in it. We also had a discussion on the forums a few months ago with a parent who gave us some great tips around having tough chats with parents which also could be helpful to have a look at.

I wish you all the best with your uni exam and job interview, good on you putting yourself out there like that. I think you're showing a lot of courage 

[GioDes]

Hi @CCZ, 

Thankyou so much for your post, as @Hannah-RO mentioned, it sounds like you have showed an incredible amount of courage. 

I was just wondering if you currently have anything that you use to help you when you feel low? It could be a strategy or self care activity? I was also wondering if you have or would ever, consider talking to a professional about how you're feeling??

I just also wanted to say that the fact you have posted, been vulnerable and are acknowledging how you feel is very brave. Please remember that it takes such strength of character to reach out and address how we feel, and that IS progress 

[WheresMySquishy]

Hi @CCZ! Welcome to the forums!
Thank you for coming onto the forums and sharing what you're experiencing with us. It sounds like you're going through such a rough time at the moment. Having to balance exams and job interviews can be really hard. You don't need your mum's negativity on top of it all.
How do you feel like your GF would respond if you confided in her about how you were feeling? Would she be supportive?
If you don't feel like talking to someone you know personally, would using a service such as Kids Helpline be something you would like to try?
I really hope that things get better for you. You sound like a resilient person given what you went through four years ago, and I really do believe that you can overcome this challenge or setback.

[Macaria]

Hi @CCZ, I'm sorry that you are experiencing so many stresses , are you feeling better right now? I think maybe you can try to talk to your girlfriend because from what you've said, she is the person that can support you a lot. Also I think more communications can make her understand you more and make you guys closer psychologically. Another suggestion is to talk with a psychologist or counsellor because they are professional helper and listener which might make you feel better by some techniques.

[PlantFanaticEv]

hi there!

Im sorry that you are going through such a tough time atm...

I know you feel like you don't have anyone to talk to, but I'm sure your girlfriend loves you for you, and she has seen you in this state before and she has stuck by you for 4 year which is pretty cool Maybe talk to her and see if she can help you out, i'm sure she would be happy to, even if the topic is "depressing"! 

[Macaria]

Hi @CCZ, I just wanna pop out and check whether things are going better with you now? are you feeling better now? please feel free to ask for help if you have any difficulty (hug)

[PlantFanaticEv]

Hey @CCZ how ware you feeling? How are you and your girlfriend going? (hug)