I don't know if I have depression
Hi. My name is Leah and I am a 15 year old girl from Sydney. At the moment I am unsure of whether the problems I am facing are just being blown out of proportion in my head or if I actually have a serious issue that needs facing.
My mum has been suffering from depression for years, and that really impacted on me as a kid. She was too scared to tackle it until i was in high school and it reached an almost unmanageable cliax. Im worried that if I do nothing about my own issues now, that they will grow to be unmanageable.
I have a few issues in my extended family at the moment, with a sick grandma in England, and an incapability of helping her. This is stressing my mum adn the rest of the family out and I just feel like a useless teenager with nothing to offer.
Im doing badly in school, I have no concentration and Im struggling to complete work (I go to a selective school so the bar is set really high). We are supposed to be choosing our HSC subjects within the next week and that is really stressing me out.
My best friend (a boy at a different school) is depressed, and that is impacting hugely on me, as I feel totally useless (as I am largely incapable of helping him).
His ex-girlfriend is in my group at school, and she has poor social skills and often takes out her anger on me. She told me anonymously online that she wished 'i would get hit by a bus and die, or move to another country', and that i was 'a slut and i know it' and i have 'fake boobs'. She believes that I victimise myself in these situations, and she often manages to turn 80% of my friends against me.
I feel like I cant trust my best friend of six years, and she is planning to move schools next year due to unhappiness. This prospect scares me, as even though I often feel this way about her, she is often one of my only support networks when I feel this way. She is the only person that knows of my severe body image issues and struggles with eating.
My mum is my one and only, I have relied on her massively in the past year. However, I feel like if I tell her that I feel I may have depression, it may stress her out further and make her depression worse again.
I also just started a new job, which has the potential to add more pressure (but it is a distraction).
I constantly feel isolated, as if I have no one, and I have no motivation to do anything. I have severe self doubt and low self worth and I feel like the ugliest person in the world. I really feel like I need help, but I don’t know if this is normal for someone my age.
I don’t know how long this will last, but it has been this intense for probably 2 months or so. I just need someone to help me, and tell me what should do in this situation.
Re: I don't know if I have depression
It's great you came on here and recognised that you may need an a little extra support. From what you have described I would say that everything that is going on at home and within your social circles is really affecting you. You seem to have quite a bit of negativity going on in your head.
I would highly suggest you seeking out the school counsellor. I believe you would really benefit from this, and maybe they can help you with the stress of picking subjects for year 12.
I know that this can seem daunting and you may feel really uncomfortable going to a school counsellor and may not want anyone to know. In that case, I would suggest you look into headspace...even if you just utilise their webchat service to vent...they may be able to help guide you. Also if you visit a headspace centre there are GP's and psychologists who work especially within the realm of mental health. So that is also an option. http://www.headspace.org.au/
Sounds like that girl is bullying you as well and it's questioning your self worth as a person. That's not okay.
Here are some fact sheets:
From what you have said it sound like you're pretty assertive and know that there is something going on with you. I feel like it's early enough for you to really nip it in the bud and get the support and help you need. Developing tactics as positive self talk and trying not to let family issues get you down would be helpful.
Let us know what you decide to do. :-)
Re: I don't know if I have depression
Welcome to Reach Out. I'm sorry that things are so hard for you at the moment but I'm glad you found your way here to see if you can get some support.
I agree with Sagira, finding someone to talk to that you feel comfortable with may make a big difference. It's so wonderful that you're close to your mum and I imagine she would like you to keep talking to her and sharing with her how you feel, and seeing someone outside of the home may help you feel better about not stressing her too much.
It's really hard when you don't feel you can trust or connect with anyone in your group at school too. Is there any way you can take some pressure off yourself by sitting with another group for a while?
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