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I'm feeling super stressed...

Hey guys. 

My name is Isaac, I'm 14 years old and I'll be turning 15 in December. Recently I've felt lost, and there are so many things going through my head that I have mixed feelings about everything. Here's my story. 

I live with a strict Christian family. We go to church every Sunday and go to night masses on Saturday nights too. We live 115km away from our church, so it takes us over and hour to get there every weekend. To solve this problem, my father bought an apartment 20 minutes away from the church, an apartment for us to go and spend weekends in, which may sound great but it really isn't. My dad is constantly stressing my family out about going to the apartment on weekends and this cuts down on my time to do soccer, meet with friends or just have some time by myself. For some reason, this year my dad has seemed to hate me doing soccer, calling it a 'scum sport' ect.

 

My dad now just bought a house so we can move closer to the church next year, and I'll be going to the same school, just a different campus. This campus is 45 mins away from the campus I go to as of now. Anyway, from our new house I will need to catch the bus every morning to go to the school, which is 45 mins also by bus. Because of this, I won't have any friends near me to hang out with, which has made me feel really sad about leaving, because I'm leaving the best group of friends I've ever had and I'll have to adapt to having no one around me. The house its self is in a great spot, next to a soccer club, next to a club and next to great restaurants and stores which has made me feel a little better about moving, but I still feel down. 

 

As of now, I'm also feeling really down with school. My grades aren't bad, I'm usually averaging a B or an A, but my father used to be really smart and if anything isn't an A+ he doesn't like it. I'm trying hard in math, but I'm still not hitting the top mark, and my dads attitude towards it really pushes me down a lot. He isn't very motivating, and I feel scared to show him my grades, ect. My dad has anger issues, he tends to get angry really easily and has been like this always. There hasn't been a month where dad hasn't gotten angry and started shouting/acting like a 12 year old, which really brings the family morale down. I know you're all going to say 'You should talk to him', but that doesn't work. My dad doesn't accept what other people think, and it's usually his way or nothing, not to mention he is very arrogant and a huge snob. I feel really bad for my mum, with what she has to go through. 

 

There are a few more things, although I won't list them. All of these problems weigh down on my shoulder, and the main source of it is all coming from my father. Everything that is happening is affecting me, and I've even had suicide thoughts, just thinking about what it would be like to end it... I also feel pathetic because of this, because I know a friend who's dad passed away from cancer, and he still manages to keep a smile on his face everyday.

Please give me some advice or tips Smiley Sad

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Re: I'm feeling super stressed...

Hey there @EyeSack2002 it sounds like your trying to process alot at the moment and that can be really hard. In terms of changing where you live are you worried about staying in contact with the friends you currently have? It sounds like alot of the stress is coming from trying to impress your father. Its really tough when people put expectaions on us that seem impossible to reach . My advise is to aim to do well but not to please someone else. Ive found that the only time im happy with a result is when its something i worked towards by doing my best to show myself that im smart. I never got As ( you sounds really smart Smiley Very Happy ) but when i started trying hard to reach my own goals not others expectaions it made a change in my mind set & then i cared less about what anyone else thought. Is soccer something you really love ? When ur feeling stressed and overwhelmed like this do you have any self care plan to destress ( exercise can be great for this) hope something ive said is at least a little helpfull please let me know if youd like anymore advice Smiley Very Happy 

Re: I'm feeling super stressed...

Hey.

About my friends, most of them will move to the same campus too, but the year after, not next year. I'll still live 1 hour and 15 minutes away from them though, and I feel sad that I won't have any friends around me. I don't usually have a way of destressing myself. If I'm really sad, I'm probably listening to depressing music, if I'm angry I'd probably be listening to something a bit harder and usually out of anger I'll just take my bike and leave and just swearing out load because of frustration... I do enjoy playing soccer, I plan on doing it next year, just for some reason this year my dad has hated it.

@Ally-Leesh-Jane

Re: I'm feeling super stressed...

Welcome to RO @EyeSack2002 :-)

 

It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate right now. I'm sorry to hear you'll be moving away from some really good friends and that things with your dad could be better. Are you allowed to have Facebook, or will you be able to email your friends or call them to stay in contact?

 

I think it's great that you've recognised some positives about the new house and that you're using those to feel a little better. Aside from soccer and riding your bike, are there any other activities you like doing that make you feel better?

Re: I'm feeling super stressed...

Hey @EyeSack2002, it sounds like you're having a really tough time at the moment. I think you are a very strong person. I can't imagine what it must be like for you to not be able to talk to your dad about how you feel and change the way he thinks. All I can say is that so long as you do your best, nobody is entitled to ask any more of you. Although others around you may be going through a lot of hardships, that doesn't mean that your struggles are any less significant. Is there anyone that you're close with that you can talk to about all this? And if you don't mind me asking, are you a Christian person? It's ok if you're not. We are all entitled to believe whatever we want to and nobody should force anything down our throats... I personally am religious and often times I feel as though God has abandoned me. It's a horrible feeling, but at the end of the day, I remind myself that He has given me the life I have because He knows I'm strong enough to handle it.

Re: I'm feeling super stressed...

Hey, thanks for replying. @LadyMacbeth00

No, there isn't really anyone close that I can talk to about all of this. Also, I am Christian, but I'm not really acting like one. I've been doing some bad things (Not drugs) that no Christian should do, and I guess you can assume what that is... I want to get back on track with Christianity, but I have no drive to do it. My dad makes going to church seem like this strict and boring thing, when I know it's supposed to be about God and I.

Re: I'm feeling super stressed...

@EyeSack2002, I think you are a very resilient person. We all do bad things, I have done many bad things too, but that's ok, because ultimately, we are humans. It's ok to stray away from God sometimes, but when the time is right, seek guidance from someone you know and trust and make your way back. Both you and God know what type of person you are and God loves you very much. He is a kind, compassionate and forgiving God. Don't forget the Prodigal Son Smiley Happy it's a lovely story.
It can be very hard not having someone to talk to about all this. Have you considered KidsHelpline? They have a webchat or their number is 1800 55 1800

Re: I'm feeling super stressed...

Hey @EyeSack2002 you sound pretty stuck in the middle hm Smiley Sad

 

You're doing really well though, I think it's awesome you have jumped on the forums for some peer support too. Have you considered phoning or webchatting with Kids Helpline [click here]? Super confidential and can be good to have a chat with someone completely removed from the situation and church stuff - what are your thoughts on that?

Re: I'm feeling super stressed...

Honestly, thank you so much for that comment. Yes, that is true, the Prodigal son is a good example, it's just that I feel everyday I take one step away from God, and I don't know how to stop that. About kids helpline, do my parents need to get involved or something? How does it work?

Re: I'm feeling super stressed...

If it is confidential, and my parents won't know about it, I'll give it a shot. I like the idea of it just being me and someone else who can help me through Smiley Happy