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Re: I'm just feeling anxious and alone

Hey @MB95 

I'm sorry if I just sprung this on you, I'm just currently really worried. About tomorrow's flight. And that I'll never be able to talk to someone about this issue, because I do need the help from a professional.

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Re: I'm just feeling anxious and alone

Hey @MB95 

You also asked about whether or not I found journaling helpful, I would say it's been pretty good at recording my feelings and when I need to I can come back to it and just process what's been going on in my life as of recent. 

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Re: I'm just feeling anxious and alone

Hey @ApplesRoses, apologies for the late reply Smiley Surprised! I'm just catching up on how it's been going for you and I'm sorry that you weren't able to get an appointment at the headspace centre Smiley Sad Despite that hiccup, we're really glad that you're still actively seeking other ways of professional help and weren't too discouraged by it! Smiley Very Happy And we're also happy that writing down your intrusive thoughts have made you feel better and understand more about your thinking process and how it may be irrational! Smiley Very Happy How have these past few days been for you so far? And how do you find the journaling in helping your thoughts and feelings?

As for the recent pokemon direct, I was super excited about the announcement of a dlc expansion pass but that price.... Smiley Surprised $45 is a lot Smiley Sad I guess I have to save up a bit of money for that expansion pass. I'm very hyped for the newer pokemon and returning old pokemon, but when I think of it I believe that gamefreak intentionally left out a lot of the game unfinished so that they can make us pay for the rest of it with the dlc which isn't very cool of them. I'm stoked for all the old legendaries coming back and more new legendaries, cause I definitely felt like there wasn't enough post-game story. I'm also very excited for the remake of red/blue mystery dungeon which was a really great and heartwarming game. Not sure if you've played the original but I would highly recommend getting that new remake!

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Re: I'm just feeling anxious and alone

I'm so sorry I wasn't there to reply right away @ApplesRoses!! Although, I am very proud to hear you reached out and were able to talk through things with an eheadspace clinician. How did you manage to cope with the flight? I hope it all went smoothly for you! Were there any coping mechanisms you used to help you through it all? 

 

I'm also glad to hear you find the journaling helpful. I know sometimes when I really need to talk to someone I can see my journal as that friend I can share anything with without being judged.. 

 

As for the adult content. I hope this isn't too forward but I'm kinda a little unsure exactly what you mean? I'm assuming you're referring to porn? I just wanna make sure before I try and give any advice/help. But if it is, you shouldn't be ashamed in it, I know alot of people watch it and it seems to be a part of growing up so try not to beat yourself up over it. You are NOT a horrible person because of it!! 

 

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Re: I'm just feeling anxious and alone

Hey @MB95 @drpenguin 

Sorry for not replying, but I'm doing better as of now. Getting it out there actually helped me feel a whole lot better. To be quite honest, going on a flight to visit relatives by myself is a lot better than I thought it was originally thinking. I guess I was just catastrophising the whole situation. I've just been going through a bit of a rough patch, but I've been getting through it the best I can. 

As for an update as to how I'm going with getting a professional to talk to. I talked to a service the headspace provided me, and they referred me to another service. So hopefully things work out. Smiley Happy 

Thanks for your help <3 

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Re: I'm just feeling anxious and alone

I'm glad to hear you're still motivated and chasing up to connect with a professional. I ready admire your strength and bravery! Please do keep us posted as I'd love to know how you get on ❤

 

I'm also happy to hear the flight went well and you are enjoying your visit with relatives. Sometimes getting away from our home environments and seeing other loved ones can really help relieve some stress and anxiety that our usual daily routine would bring. I hope you continue to enjoy your time with them and are able to spend some time relaxing and putting yourself first! 

 

Take care and please do keep us posted. We are here if you need a chat 😊

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Re: I'm just feeling anxious and alone

Hey @ApplesRoses 

 

Glad the flight went well! I personally get really nervous when having to fly, so I really relate with the "catastrophising". But isn't it nice when you surprise yourself and cope with something stressful really well Smiley Happy 

 

Good on you for acknowledging that you are getting through this rough patch the best you can. It sounds like things are really looking positive! Keen to hear how you go with the service head space provided you with. 

 

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Re: I'm just feeling anxious and alone

Hey everyone,
@Bre-RO , @MB95 , @drpenguin , @Jess1-RO , @WheresMySquishy 

(There's a lot of people now on this thread Smiley Happy that's really cool)

I was just hoping to talk about something that I've just been a bit worried about. And hopefully, through typing this up. I can kind of just combat the thought and I have you all to help support me and to talk with. Well, here goes nothing! A few months ago, I found a user on youtube that I found a couple years prior to that, but till then. Didn't really think much of it because it didn't seem shady, but looking further into the user. I got really distressed because they seemed really problematic, they were posting some content that were to be interpreted sexually and was posting content that is not acceptable and the behaviour they were exerting online was problematic and maybe illegal.  so I reported it to the esafety commissioner because that's what a kid's helpline person told me to do when I talked to them. So I did, and I'm pretty sure I made sure back then that I was left anonymous of the report I made because I didn't feel comfortable with having my name being associated with it. 

Anyways, I was just a bit worried that they wouldn't take it down. So I've made another report but to the crime stoppers website instead of the esafety commissioner. But I feel better reporting it there and this time I've put down my name to be contacted if they need to contact me. But now, my mind is just getting a bit worried and is probably overthinking things. It's currently telling me 'you should report other accounts and problematic content to the crime stoppers website and you're simply not doing enough if you don't do that'. And I've been telling myself, it seems a bit illogical to make another report on another website that has the same goal as one another. Even if I reported it, and it wasn't the right place to be sent, they would most likely send the report to the right place and still investigate it. It's just that my mind just keeps telling me 'that you're a horrible person for not making a report on the right website' despite the fact that even if I sent the report to somewhere else, the esafety commissioner will most likely still send it to the right place and investigate what's going on. 

I just find it annoying that I have to continuously deal with thoughts that keep telling me that I'm not doing enough, when I have been doing a lot. It's just really emotionally draining and leaves me feeling a bit stressed and an obsessive feeling of me just wanting to do something despite already having done something. 

Thank you for remaining on this chat, it means a lot to have you all to talk to. <3

Re: I'm just feeling anxious and alone

Aw @ApplesRoses it sounds like constantly dealing with these thoughts is really wearing you down. I'm so grateful that you're able to put your thoughts into words here and get the support you deserve. 

 

It's so clear that you are a thoughtful person with a strong moral compass - that is something to be so proud of. Brains like to send us through nasty thought loops at times, even when we're doing amazing things to help others. 

 

From an outsiders perspective, it sounds like you've done a good job at making sure the YouTube community is safe from harmful videos - taking multiple approaches was a smart move, in my opinion. In saying that, I hear you! It is sooo annoying having to keep your thoughts in check. 

 

Are there any strategies that have worked for you in the past? Distractions can be good when you can "think" you way out of something.

 

Let us know how you're going, we're here for you Heart 

 

 

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Re: I'm just feeling anxious and alone

Hey @Bre-RO 

It's just that mainly, throughout the past few months I've been trying to report as much shady content as I could that is problematic, but now my mind is just telling me that I should be reporting some of the other content to the crime stoppers despite already reporting them to the esafety commissioner. I tell myself, that it would be illogical to make another report. Because, the esafety commissioner will still probably be investigating it, even though it hasn't been sent to the crime stoppers. And that I even left my email to get them to contact me if they needed to. 

Thank you for saying that, I started to realise over the past few months talking to the forums, eheadspace that our minds can sometimes be our worst enemy. And that, we really just need to talk to someone to actually get another opinion of our current situation. It's just a bit stressful to just think about this sometimes because I know that I have done something, but my mind just still tells me I'm a horrible person for not supposedly 'doing enough'. Even though I have done something to help

I've been using the STOPP method as it's one of the most helpful for me. And sometimes I talk to my friend about this.