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I need help and guidence?!?

I am a 23 yo girl who has only just come to the realisation i have been suffering from depression since i was 10. My mother tells me she dosnt love me and i have been living in and out of home since i was 13.. My dad died when i was 18.. Ever since i was 14 i have been self medicating with drugs because that was my only way to find happiness at the time.. Untill this year when i realised i have a substance abuse problem because of my anxiety and depression.. This year my best friend talked me into trying heroin. I know i should of known better and not done it but i was at a really low point in life.. I have now been using heroin for 5 months and i do not want it any more!!! It has put me in debt and i dont want to live that life anymore. Ive started to buy methadone of the street because i dont know how to go about getting help. But i am never able to get enough to get me through to being clean. If i knew i could go to a doctor today and get put on a progam with methadone i would be there in a heart beat.. But i dont know where to start or what to do.. Please help me! I dont want this life any more! 

Re: I need help and guidence?!?

First up, let me say, while I have suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time, and schizoaffective disorder, as well as abusing all sorts of drugs when I was younger, I never tried heroin, and from what i've heard, it can be a nightmare to come off.

 

I wouldn't even begin to know what to say to you, except that I have met someone before who was clean, and she was doing it pretty tough. I think the day I hung out with her, she was very suicidal, and just someone being there with her, made her life worthwhile for a day. (We made chocolate chip cookies.)

 

I saw your other post, so I'll respond to that one as well. I think the best thing you have going for you, is that you have accepted that you want to change your life. Seeking out help, is always the most difficult thing to accept. Finding it can be difficult, so if you aren't prepared for a bit of a struggle, you can easily slip back into old habits. Even then, the next time you seek out help, you are all the wiser for it.

 

I'm sure someone will be along in short order, to post links to various fact sheets, or help lines, but you can easily google search for those things. Seeing a GP is a great start. Especially if you get a hold of a good one that bulk bills people on a health care card. Your GP will know where to send you, to get more specialised help, and may even as you say prescribe something. Even if it is different from what you were prescribed before, its worth a try.

 

I tried about 8 different medications, or more, before I found the ones that work the best for me, with the least side effects, and I still see my GP, my psychologist, and my psychiatrist all bulk billed on medicare.

 

I'm super glad you were brave enough to post here, and I hope you stay. Having a place you can go and share stuff, and have positive people support you might be what keeps you out of trouble?

 

I hope today is a good day. Smiley Happy

Re: I need help and guidence?!?

Hey again damaged, just really wanted to let you know how proud you should be about all the steps that you've taken towards help lately. I don't have heaps of time to reply right now but I just wanted to let you know that it is actually possible to get onto a methodone or other opioid treatment really quickly. Please contact this free call opioid treatment line as soon as you can and they will advise you on how you can get into a program. It is a NSW number but even if you are not from NSW, call them and they will refer you to the right people in your state. Well done for taking these brave steps, and hope you let us know how it goes...
Here's the helpline:
http://www.stvincents.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=476&Itemid=523

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: I need help and guidence?!?

Drugs like heroin create addictions because they replace our natural adrenaline, I beat my addiction by finding things that get my heart pumping. You can go light like horror movies or you can go all out and try skydives or bungee jumping. This however is not a solution but definately helps. I suggest you consider leaving that town or area. This will get you away from all your fellow abusers as well as make it hard to find a source again. But one thing I can confidently say that makes me certain that you will beat this, its the fact that you want to leave it gives you 50 percent better chance of success. also a doctor of any stripe can get you to a rehab clinic. Again though, stay away from anyone and anything that gives you access to any kind of drug. Then run before the shakes kick in. Its harder to try quitting when your already half starved.
Its not professionally help but its what I did, true knowledge comes from experience.

Good luck and keep telling yourself I can beat this

Re: I need help and guidence?!?

Hi guys, Just thought I would give u an update.

Ive called up the south west drug intake & spoken to them. They have advised I can go into a detox clinic but she said after hearing my story and circumstances I dont think it would be a very pretty place for me to be in.

My boyfriend and I have only been smoking it for about 6 months now. A lot of the people in these detox Centre are hardcore drug addicts and alot of fights and stuff goes on because everyone is withdrawing and alot of the people in there have been using for years and have used needles ect.. I dont want to be in a place like that!!

If any of you were to meet me or even my boyfriend you would not pick for a second that we are addicts. My boyfriend holds a full time job and is very well presented and I am a beautiful innocent looking girl that has my head on my shoulders and is even very well spoken and mature for my age.. We are both not ment for this lifestyle and we both absolutely HATE IT and are OVER IT!

When I called this place they said wr wouldn't be able to do it together. We could do the outake program where we would be given these strips anywhere between 12pm-4pm daily. My boyfriend would not be able to make it to do that every day because he wouldnt get home from work in time.. I would be able to do it but we have a few friends that have tried these strips and and said they are horrid and then its horrible to get off them!! I dont want to be addicted to them!!

My boyfriend and I have bought methadone off the street and it worked really well for us!! We did not at all think about heroin and we were so happy to not be touching it, but then the problem with that was we just couldn't get our hands on enough to be able to do it for long enough!

I would preferably want to be on a methadone program.. & there is absolute no way I would have any temptations to ever touch heroin again!!! I hate it! It has put me in debt and made me lost my job!! I would do anything to take this all back!!! Aparently ill have to wait to get on a program aswell!!! I cant wait!!! We have come to the absolute end! We cant get anymore money and when my my boyfriend gets paid we are in so much debt its all gone on paying people back!! Ive put my precious things in the hock shop that I want back!! its $800 worth!! and amoung that is my dad's jewelry i was was given when he passed away! I feel disgusted in myself for doing it and want to get a job asap to get these things out!!!

I dont know if I can wait to get help!! I need help now! Its come to the end where the only thing left to do is to go and sell myself & get a job at a brothel or a massage parlor.. I know its wrong but I am so scared of being in pain untill I get help!!! if I feel the withrawls they are so so intense that I just sit there crying and in so much pain and I dont want to be alive... im scared I will so something stupid like end my life because I wont be able to deal with the pain!!! I want help so bad!! If a doctor said to me tomorrow that he would put me on a program I would do it right away!!! I would be willing to give a drug test every day because I know I will not look back once I get rid of this horrible addiction!!!

I want to be able to afford to buy myself speakers so I can practice ny music which is my passion and hobby.. I want to be clean and be able to afford to study and be healthy so I can do my fitness course! ! I used to be an athlete and I threw that out the window because I fell into this hole of depression & then made stupid decisions!!!

I need help Smiley Sad its not easy at all to get help!!

Re: I need help and guidence?!?

Hey @Damaged4790 

 

Maybe you could have a look here. ADIN provides all sorts of information regardng treatment centres and services. 

There are a range of pharmacotherapy options other than methadone so it's really worth talking to an expert. The Government based services are free but often have a waitng list where as the private clinics are usually able to get you on the program in about 24 hours. They can cost around $100 per week (it varies) but it's always less than using costs.

Detox's are not that bad but it's definitely worth speaking to someone about your options first.

 

I noticed in your other thread that you mentioned getting medication for your anxiety. Did you speak to that Doctor about your situation? Are they able to help you? Some GP's will oversee home based detoxes.

 

Let us know how you go.

Re: I need help and guidence?!?

Yep damaged4790 - I'd echo exactly what NigioC said, if you feel that a pharmacotherapy option like methodone (though you need to talk to a prescribing doctor) is right for you, then a private clinic could get you in the fastest - usually within 24hours (and cost you about $40-70 per week...)

I really think calling the Opioid Treatment Line is the right thing for you to do next
Freecall Number 1800 642 428*
Monday to Friday 9.30am to 5.00pm

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

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Re: I need help and guidence?!?

Hi Guys,

Just thought I would stop by and say that I have now been clean for a week Smiley Happy

After calling up all the numbers I was given I spoke to a lovely man and I explained my story and how much I used ect.. He said to me " To be quiet honest with how much your using you could do it yourself" ... I thought about it for a few days and then thought about how strong I used to be as a person and if anyone can do this I can!!! I was always the one out of my friends who would try guide them the right way and tell them they could do anything they put their mind to..

I have a photo of my dad in my room and I woke up one one morning and prayed!!!! I prayed for my dad to help me get through this and prayed to god saying I know im better then this and I would never make this mistake again if I could just have the the strength to get through it!!!

Then the next morning i woke up and I honestly just had enough! I didnt want this anymore and the best day to start is today! So I gave away the rest of my substance I had and said " take it, I dont want it!" and I stayed home and just stayed in bed. It was horrible, the sweats were horrible, the sickness was horrible. .. but for how im feeling right now IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!!!!!! and I am never ever looking back! I hate it with a passion and im so happy to have gotten rid of it and the best thing about it is I am proud of myself! Ive shown myseld I AM strong and that has almost made me feel reborn into this stronger person!!!!

Thank you so much to everyone who took their time out to help me ans hear me out.. I felt so alone, but finding this forum really did help me and I didnt feel judged... Thankyou for your support and belief in me!!!!! ♥

Re: I need help and guidence?!?

Hey @Damaged4790 

 

That is amazing to hear, congratulations! You have come such a long way, well done Smiley Happy You definitely are a strong person. Hang in there and remember there are people who can help if you need!

Re: I need help and guidence?!?

Wow! Excellent stuff! Great job! You're an inspiration to us all..

 

Just remember if things get tough, or you start feeling down, you can always come back, and leave a message, we are here to help with all of your problems, not just drug related ones, okay?

 

Smiley Happy