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I’ve been seeing an escort for 4 months

Idk I’ve seen him on and off for 4 months and he’s suggested that we actually go ahead and have sex either unprotected or protected but isn’t that wrong? I’ve already told him I have herpes all I’m really interested in is teasing him and just talking really though. He’s even suggested not charging me to see him. I thought the escort wasn’t meant to contact you to see them. Should I just stop seeing the escort altogether, I just feel like that’s bad cuz I tend to cut people out of my life?

Re: I’ve been seeing an escort for 4 months

Hey @Hicks , 


That sounds really tricky - I would say that I would really follow your gut around what you feel comfortable with and what you don't... It's totally appropriate for you to set whatever boundaries you feel comfortable with.


If teasing and talking is where that line is for you, I can understand you feeling weird about him suggesting that you have unprotected sex. Offering to see you without charging you definitely sounds like it would alter the boundaries of that relationship, and if you do decide not to see him I think that sounds more like holding your boundaries and self care firmly, rather than repeating a pattern of cutting people out of your life- does that make sense? If you're not comfortable with what he's suggesting it is absolutely OK for you to say that. 


I know that there can be heaps of stigma around herpes, but 1 in 8 sexually active adults in Australia have genital herpes, and up to 80% of Australian adults carry HSV-1 (one of the HSV viruses that usually causes cold sores but can also cause genital sores). So it is super common - I'm wondering if you've ever chatted to your GP about how to manage the symptoms and see if any of the newer anti viral drugs could be helpful for you in managing outbreaks? Famly Planning Australia also have some great resources here.  




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Re: I’ve been seeing an escort for 4 months

Hi @Hicks ,

Hmm seems as though you are having a tough time deciding what to do. I was just wondering what you want out of seeing him? and do you feel comfortable with whats happening?