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Isolation

Hi,

 

I'm in a bit of a... predicament. I used to have a few online friends, but well, it's a very long story. But they have turned against me, and it feels like my whole world is crashing down. I can't say anything, cause technically nothing was explicity said? it was all passive aggressive and indirect. And I can't just block these people cause I'm unfortunaly enrolled in a class with the main person targetting me, and I'm scared of the reprecrussions blocking them would have on class. I don't have friends to talk to about it cause they are either friends with these people, or have been turned against me via rumors via these bullies. And people in real life, like real life friends or my parents, think this is a small issue when I talk to them about it, cause it's all online. I'm stuck, and feel incredibly isolated. I don't know what to do, and I'm afraid that cause of this class, I'm going to have to miserably push through it till the year ends. 

 

Thanks for reading all that if you got to the end Smiley Happy 

Re: Isolation

Hey @sislbm, welcome to the RO forums!

 

I'm sorry to hear that you have been having a tough time with your friends lately, and feeling isolated. Just because some friendships are online does not mean they are any less valued than our real life friends. I can hear that you are frustrated about being unable to block this person, and I'm sorry that your parents and friends didn't quite react in the way that you would have liked them to.

 

ReachOut has a whole section dedicated to info about bullying, and in particular cyberbullying. Would you feel comfortable checking those resources out? Are there any strategies in those links that you think you could try?

 

Would you feel comfortable having a chat with the instructor/teacher of this class (or another academic staff member that you trust) to let them know what has been going on, and voice your concerns?

 

We are here to listen and support you - you don't have to go through this alone.

Re: Isolation

Bullying of any form is absolutely not on. Cyberbullying, however, is particularly stressful because it can continue through different environments and even affect us when we're at home. The link that @khaleesi_18 provided has some great strategies for protecting yourself online.

 

You mentioned that your real life friends think it is a small issue because it's all online. This must make it really hard for you when you don't get the support you expect. Would it be possible to talk to them to let them know how this makes you feel? Are they also in the same class you are concerned about?

Re: Isolation

Hey @khaleesi_18 ,

 

Thankyou for all your support. Those links are useful, I've already implemented some of those solutions in my life, however I can't shake the awful feeling out. I can't talk to the teacher about it. But I'm thinking of seeing a counsellor at my uni soon. Thankyou for all your help, and your calming words. It's been really helpful when I felt overwhelmed Smiley Happy 

Re: Isolation

Hello @Kit

 

Thankyou for all your understanding, I really really appreciate it. 

 

I do talk to them about it. I guess, they aren't sure how to help, which I understand. Because no one knows what to do, they just try to convince me it's not a big deal, as a last minute solution, to try and get me to look at it differently and feel better that way perhaps? It's not very helpful, but I understand where they are coming from, and I can't blame them. They aren't in that class, no. 

 

I have looked at the links provided, and I'm thinking of talking to a counsellor about it. I'm not sure how much that will help but it's better than doing nothing.

 

Thanks again for you words and your understanding. It's really calming and relieving having someone understand what I'm going through and genuinely try to help me with urgency rather than nonchalance. 

 

Re: Isolation

@sislbm I'm sorry your friends still haven't been as understanding as you like, even though you've spoken with them about what is going on. I suppose their heart might be in the right place but they just don't know how to give you the best help. It's very common for people to think saying 'forget about it' or 'ignore it' is helpful when a friend or loved one is stressed. Sadly, it completely ignores the underlying reason for reaching out – feeling lonely, isolated or lost!

 

I'd suggest trying out those communication tips from my last post, especially:

 

4. Wants:
What you would like to happen in the situation:
(e.g. 'Next time he comes over, I'd like you to say 'hi' and to make an effort to talk to him.').

 

Except that your want could possibly be that you would just like them to listen, instead of find an answer. What do you think? Would you like to try that?

 

 

It's great you are thinking of speaking to a counsellor. Even though you have some doubts about what it might do, it will be good to have another support around you that can listen and understand how you are feeling. It's also a big step in to the unknown so well done for being open to counselling. Smiley Happy

Re: Isolation

Hi @Kit I was wondering which post you were talking about re: '4. Wants...'

I tried to find it but couldn't. P.S. I hope asking in this forum feed is okay. 

Re: Isolation

Hi @KiKi_19, it was the link from my earlier reply. The text is copied from RO's article on tips for communicating: http://au.reachout.com/tips-for-communicating

Hope it's helpful Smiley Happy

Re: Isolation

@Kit

 

Thanks so much for the resource, that is of great help. I'm feeling a little better over the situation now that some time has passed and that I'm less overwhelmed. All your tips have helped greatly, thanks again. Smiley Happy 

Re: Isolation

Hey @sislbm, I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better about the situation and that @Kit's support really helped. Smiley Happy

 

We'l always be here to listen and offer support whenever you need. I hope we'll also see more of you around the Hanging Out and Games forums too!

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