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Re: It just won't stop

One of another guys on here asked, "If you knew how life was going to be, would you choose to be born in the first place?"

 

And my immediate reaction was, "Yes, of course." My friends answer was, "What? Like you are aware that you exist, and you are still out there somewhere? I would stay out there!". Which is kinda funny, but I think the message is that we just all want to exist, and we all want our existence to be amazing.

 

When its not so amazing, or even the opposite, and a total nightmare, then the option of no longer existing becomes a viable option. But you have to weigh up the two options. One is existing, the other isn't. If you think about it, if you could choose to live a happy existence, over not existing at all, which would you choose?

 

I know I would choose the happy existence, the only problem is, at the moment, your existence isn't very happy. But the key words are, "at the moment"

 

You get to choose if it gets better. @Pi didn't get to choose if her brother died, and now her existence is crappy too, but likewise, she can choose to make hers better. We all can.

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Re: It just won't stop

@tesla-weapon of course I would choose the happy existence, but I'm always getting worse, and at the moment I don't want to exist anymore!
I'm so tired of everything! I just want it to stop! πŸ˜ͺ

Re: It just won't stop

Hey Jess,

 

How's it going?

Are you feeling like you might be at risk tonight?

It might be a difficult question to answer but I would like to know if you're ok. How are things at the moment?

Re: It just won't stop

@NigioC I don't know if I'm going to harm myself tonight, I don't want to, but at the same time I want to... I don't think I'm at any immediate danger

Re: It just won't stop

That's awesome Jess.

I totally get that you still feel like crap and that you're not even 100% sure that you'll be ok. But, that small part of you that says "I don't want to" is the fighter in you that keeps you going.

You've been through heaps already. You've suffered and struggled. But you're clearly a fighter. You're clearly someone that finds a way to keep going no matter what. That's the part of you that asks for help and keeps looking for a way to get better.

You're amazing!

 

Re: It just won't stop

I agree, just take it one minute at a time, until you can get through 10 minutes. Then just take it ten minutes at a time.

 

Try to do something else, and if you start to feel bad, challenge the thoughts, because you know it is just the illness talking, not you.

Re: It just won't stop

Im in your shoes, I cant shift my focus of the bad, i feel like im wearing a mask, maybe some real time off is a good idea. Its also good to let atleast one person in so someone is aware of your situation. If you want to talk personally to me so I can explain a little better just ask, i think I really might be able to help you because I finally found the light in my darkness, and maybe you just need someone to light the way so you can get back on your path.

Re: It just won't stop

Hey @paris149 

 

The Reach Out forum guidelines state that users are not to share personal contact details. It's how we make sure everyone stays safe and is able to relax into the comfort of being anonymous.

That being said, any and all of your experiences regarding a situation like this, or any other, are very welcome. If you share them openly then the whole community is able to benefit from your experiences.

 

I hope you understand. Smiley Happy

Re: It just won't stop

How is it going @jess no-one ? How was the last few days?

Re: It just won't stop

@tesla-weapon I'm really struggling! I just want everything to stop!