I have been struggling to see the good things in life as there were exactly two good things going on in my life that made me push through.. 1) my family is healthy and loving 2) having a very supportive boyfriend... but over this last week at the beginning I lost the dynamic with my boyfriend and since I live so far from family that had been my only form of support and by the end of the weekend my father passed away completely breaking whatever energy I had to stay on my feet and function lately.. I find it hard to get out of bed, genuinely smile, or go one second of my day not being severely depressed. I know it will take a while but I’m scared of how deep I will fall and remain.
I'm sorry to hear that your father passed away @Olliexia. Considering everything that's happened it's understandable that you're feeling exhausted and finding it hard to function. Grief and loss is such a personal process and it can take time to work through. But the fact that you have the insight to notice what's been going on is a big step in of itself; and then to reach out here is another really proactive and supportive step for you. I have found an article on "working through grief" that you might find helpful; and if you haven't before then I would recommend maybe chatting to a counsellor, as they can really help to stop you from falling to far or sitting in that sadness for too long.
I just wanted to clarify. With your boyfriend, you said you've lost the dynamic... Did something specific happen or you just feel like things are different for you both?