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Just ignore this
I don't know what to say to not make this the millionth suicidal rant by redhead.
Anyway it's gonna be one so ignore this.
Christmas 2017 and I'm alive. Fuck. I wasn't meant to make it through this year, especially to Christmas.
I should be glad I made it, I have a pen pal over from England, but I spent the majority of the day in bed thinking about ways I could hurt myself without anyone knowing.
Just over a month ago I came so close to death but it just left me with some nasty side effects that may not get better. Then there's all the other attempts I made this year some of which serious again.
So why the fuck am I alive and how can I change that...Meaning how can I finally die
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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Re: Just ignore this
I'm glad you are here.
Some of your words echo a lot of my thoughts.
I wasn't meant to make it to this year
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Re: Just ignore this
@redhead I get how this feels. For most of this year I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be alive for this Christmas. It's tough. In the last couple of weeks, though, I've seen you post some really positive things for next year - like getting in to your uni course and feeling ready to be more open about your gender identity. Maybe those things will help 2017 be a better year? If nothing else, you're a super valuable member of RO and we would really miss you if you weren't around!
Please take care of yourself. We're here to keep talking if you want! Otherwise *hugs*
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Re: Just ignore this
I'm glad your here, you are such a wonderful and supportive person. It's so cool that you have a penpal! They can be great.
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. It can be really difficult to recover after injuries.
What is something else you'd like to change? Please stay safe tonight.
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Re: Just ignore this
@DruidChild I know I have plans for next year but they don't seem to matter, it's like I don't see the point right now.
@N1ghtW1ng I just don't want to be crazy anymore.
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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Re: Just ignore this
@redhead what is your definition of crazy? I don't believe you are X
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Re: Just ignore this
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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Re: Just ignore this
what about telling me what it's like to be psychotic? It sounds quite awful, but I don't think it makes you crazy.
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Re: Just ignore this
Because I believe this I'm psychotic.
I also get paranoid and delusional because of things those beings say.
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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Re: Just ignore this
Oh I'm really really sorry @redhead. How do you keep in control? How long has it been this way for you? Does anything make them go away?
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