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Leaving home help

Alright so, I'm leaving home this Febuary, and that's not the issue, I have pretty much everything set up and organised. The issue is that I have a close mate who wants to come with, I am moving from Darwin to Melbourne mainly for furthering my education and better work, my mate wants to come as they have been accepted into the Melbourne university for a degree. 

Now here's the issue, the mates parents are overly controlling (to the point of not letting them out over weekends to catch up with other friends, mind you they are 17 years old at this stage), and this is starting to cause issues in the relationships. My mate wants to come with attend university and what not, however is very worried because of the age factor, they are afraid they will not be able to get away from their parents and that police can just collect them.

I have no issues with taking my mate with me however I would prefer to avoid involving police and what not, or at least would like some help/advice to what i should do here.


(If this is in the wrong place i'm sorry!)

Re: Leaving home help

Hey @Whix I have moved your message just so it gets a little more love from the RO community. Also well done on making the decision to head to Melb for uni - amazing city, you'll love it Smiley Very Happy


Hmm, that sounds hard - is it that you're just really concerned about the added drama from the parents? I am unsure of Darwin laws but I was under the impression 17 is the legal age to be able to make your own decisions around living situations etc? So I guess the big question is are you more concerned about challenges around the parents or challenges from your mate maybe caving to his over controlling parents etc?


Sorry to ask these questions just trying to get my head around it with you..


Also this website may be of assistance to you on the issue Smiley Happy 

Re: Leaving home help

Thank you very much! Wasn't 100% on where to put this post lol. Smiley Happy


The questions are no problem, personally I'm not too fussed from the added drama, just short of them actually running away from home and severing ties with the family which for obvious reasons is definitely not the greatest thing to do, we are quickly running out of ideas for how they can leave home on friendly terms

Re: Leaving home help

Hey @Whix, sounds like a difficult situation. When is your mate 18? I can kind of imagine how they'd be overprotective and against this because it is quite a big move to make.

My thoughts are to map how the move is going to work, make a list of pros and cons, identify how you and your mate will look after each other and perhaps then taking it to their parents. Obviously they may not be happy with it, but it may at least help to make them understand. 


Re: Leaving home help

They are 18 in a couple months unfortunately after I have made the move and the university has begun. We are trying to convince the parents to understand the situation. As for easing the parents minds about the move for them, I have already gotten accomodation that we could be in, finances are secured (I.E. I have a job secured already and they have confirmed attendance to the university).

Definitely a tricky situation to do it right, we do still have 3 more weeks before the actual date comes when we fly out so hopefully in that time we can convince them.

Re: Leaving home help

Hey @Whix how are things going? It's good that you still have more time.

Re: Leaving home help

Hey, yea things are going OKAY at the moment, they are beginning to slowly accept that it's what they want and that it's for studying even so, just hoping over the next couple weeks it will keep going jsut as well! Smiley Happy

Re: Leaving home help

That's great @Whix Smiley Happy

Re: Leaving home help

Alright, had quite the interesting chat with the mates parents. They seem to not respect their decision at all (that is my mates decision to wanting to leave home) and have outright just said no. I brought up that I believe at the age of 17 there is no law to bind a person to their family, however upon this apparently they couldn't care less for the law.

Quite unsure what to do now, doesn't look good that they will stay on good terms with their parents if the mate does decide to just simply leave by running away

Re: Leaving home help

Sorry to hear that your friend's parents aren't too keen on the move @Whix. How does your friend feel about all this? Has his parents' reaction made him want to stay where he is, or do you think he'd leave regardless of what they wanted?

// Spiral outward, keep going. //