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Lesbian breakup and dealing with being in the closet

Hi all,

I don't really know how this works but I don't know where else I can go to talk. So, my girlfriend and I recently broke up (I'm a gay girl) and I've been really struggling with it, she was my first girlfriend (as well as first kiss, first date, first love). I feel like I am alone because even though my friends are supportive of me, they are all straight and have never had any romantic experiences and I always feel they are silently judging me. I am out to my friends but none of my family know and when I tried to tell my mum that I thought I was gay she said I was too young to know. I've been finding it really hard keeping everything to myself and I feel like I'm living a lie when my parents talk about the future and boys etc. I know that was a very long message but like I said I don't really know how this works but I just feel really alone and was hoping that maybe someone can understand or just chat? Any response is appreciated 🙂

Re: Lesbian breakup and dealing with being in the closet

Hey @GemDrummer02 (Fab username btw! Smiley Happy )
I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup Smiley Sad
I'm really unsure how to advise you on the breakup, but I'm going to tag some other users who might be able to help a bit more @Sarah7714 @sweet_baking @T4ils @ErinsAntics

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Lesbian breakup and dealing with being in the closet

Thanks @Bee I appreciate it 😊

Re: Lesbian breakup and dealing with being in the closet

No worries @GemDrummer02

I've just noticed you posted this in hanging out so I have moved to getting help, and have removed the duplicate post Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Lesbian breakup and dealing with being in the closet

@Bee Thanks, still figuring out how this website works 😅

Re: Lesbian breakup and dealing with being in the closet

That's quite okay @GemDrummer02 It can take a bit, but you'll get used to it Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Lesbian breakup and dealing with being in the closet

Hey there @GemDrummer02, welcome to RO Smiley Very Happy

Breaking up sounds really tough, especially since she was your first girlfriend - I'm sorry to here that you're struggling Smiley Sad I'm totally here to listen and talk about all this stuff, as is everyone else. I've never experienced a breakup before, but I am a fellow gay girl, so I may be able to help a little Smiley Tongue

Is there anyone irl you think you can talk to about this?

Re: Lesbian breakup and dealing with being in the closet

Hi @roseisnotaplant, thanks for your reply. It's nice to know there are other LGBT people out there to talk to. I used to talk to my mum about everything but I can't talk to her about this stuff because she thinks I'm too young to know my sexuality (I'm 15 and tried to come out to her when I was 14) and I'm not allowed to date until I leave school. My girlfriend was the only one I've ever felt like I could talk to about these things and the only one that has ever really understood this stuff, which kind of makes breaking up harder because we can't really talk like that anymore. Have you come out to anyone yet? It would be great to chat sometime if you're up for it 😊

Re: Lesbian breakup and dealing with being in the closet

@GemDrummer02 Gah, that whole 'too young' thing makes me so angry. I came out to a few people when I was fourteen too, and I'm sixteen now and still gay af, so... yeah. Don't listen to people who say that - you know you better than they know you.

I came out to my mum a few years ago and she was really great - I'm suuuuuper lucky because my family are all super chill with LGBT+ stuff (well, my immediate family - my extended family is another story). I'm also out to a few friends and a teacher, all of whom were also really great (and a few came out to me in return, which is always kinda funny but also really comforting Smiley Tongue).

Coming out is always a bit scary though, even if you're 99% sure you'll get a good reaction. Sucks that your gf was the only one you feel you can talk to about this stuff, that must be difficult.

I'm totally up to chat more Smiley Happy
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Re: Lesbian breakup and dealing with being in the closet

Hey @GemDrummer02 I am also a gay female Smiley Happy And have also intensely struggled having no gay female friends, especially during episodes of heartbreak. One thing I have been doing that has helped is slowly connecting with other lesbians as friends. Definitely RO is a great start so stoked you're here quite a few members of this community are LGBTQ Smiley Happy Please know you're not alone, even though it feels it at times.

 

Have you heard of Minus18? I think this crew could be awesome for you.