Just me posting here would be seen as a major betrayal by my wife. I have tried to push her towards accepting that she does have some issues to deal with. But now I realise that she literally is unable to understand it. Her mind swerves away from the idea like a rollercoaster on a winding rail. I need to try to reduce her negative and abusive behaviours but I cannot convince her that she is yelling at me because she is upset and not because I am the source of her upset. It is a hard thing to do. I thought I was at fault for 100% of every problem in our relationship. Now I understand the difference between something I have done and my wife's reaction to something minor that seems completely major to her. Like looking at her the wrong way
Hey @Arrow thanks for sharing this post with us. Life as a carer of someone living with BPD can be super tough and it sounds like you're taking some amazing steps in the right direction to learn to understand and support your wife as she learns new ways of communicating and understanding.
I really encourage you to check out the Sane Australia Carers forum which you can find here. They know a lot more about the kinds of experiences you're going through. Many of the members there have been where you are and can help you find your way on the journey you're on!