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Life decisions at 14 years old and a weird mum

I just turned 14 two days ago, and I already have to make a decision that determines my whole life. My mum wants me to go to another country to study (which I do not want) because she said that the school there can take me to top universities like the ivy leagues. The thing is, I only have 8 weeks in total to learn 2 years worth of knowledge, and even worse at the level of that school which is 2 years ahead of my current schools. I try, but the discouragement (how will this even be possible with a person like you? You are hopeless! We are spending so much money for the 3 of us to fly halfway across the world so you can take the test! How will you face us and your grandparents if you fail?! I am worrying my guts out for you! I'm getting more and more unhealthy because of you! Look at all my wrinkles and grey hair! All because of YOU!) from my mum is really not helping it turn out. She shouts at me now for EVERYTHING I do (not joking) like for example I was taking out the groceries from the bag (I had a fever) and she would scream at me and repeat all those discouragements for being so slow. When my nose is sore from blowing it out she would scream at my running nose. When I am just making a little sandwich for myself she would scream at me for wasting time. When I do the slightest thing wrong like stepping on her foot she pinches me, hits me, and flicks her fingers at my forehead. A couple hours later she acts like nothing happened and start doing that disgusting and disturbing baby talk she does. (Little little *my name*, say sweetly "mommy") while doing wriggling around like a worm. GOD SHES ANNOYING. Now back to the thing about the schools. My mom told me that she would send me to a public school in the country Im going to( you cannot imagine how BAD they are, nobody cares about school and there are drugs and what not) if I fail so shes not even going to let me stay where I am! I study now in a private international school that is VERY crappy. I told myself it is a life or death decision. Its either I pass full marks on a test 2 times harder than the SAT (math) or I my mom gives up on me and I go somewhere that is the equivalent of hell. Remember right now I am in grade 8 and I have to learn practically 11th and 12th grade algebra (no calculus) in 8 weeks.:: I CANNOT EVEN 

Re: Life decisions at 14 years old and a weird mum

Hey @iwtd, welcome to ReachOut!

I'm really sorry for what you're going through at the moment. It sounds like an incredibly stressful situation to be in, and I totally sympathise with the stress that you'd be having of making a decision that you feel has an enormous impact on your future.

Just to confirm, are you being made to do this test that could potentially get you into the other school? As in, is it already locked in that you're going to do it? I'd be interested to know what your ideal outcome is, in terms of which school you would want to attend and whether or not you have to take the test.

It certainly seems like your mum is pushing you to do things that you feel are outside of your ability limites, and is putting a lot of unnecessary responsibility on you to take care of her and perform to a certain standard. I don't think it's particualrly fair for somebody else to tell you that how you perform on one test has an impact on their mental health, because I don't think that it's your responsibility (especially if you have no control over how you will perform). Is there anyone else in your household that can vouch for you, or do you feel like she's capable of having a rational conversation with you about how you feel with this test?

Let me know how everything goes Smiley Happy
-BoM

Re: Life decisions at 14 years old and a weird mum

Hey @iwtd, welcome to ReachOut! Sounds like your mum's words/behaviour is causing you a lot of stress at the moment, am I right?

Just checking in to see how you're doing at the moment?

Looking forward to hearing from you! Smiley Happy

// Spiral outward, keep going. //
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Re: Life decisions at 14 years old and a weird mum

Hey there @iwtd

 

Sounds like you are currently feeling stressed at the moment.

 

Just checking in to see how everything is going Smiley Happy