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Lonely, stressed and heartbroken

I'm only 16 but this year has been hard I've lost someone in my family, I use to have a lot of friends now I only have 2 and I feel like I'm to much of s awkward person to talk to new people. Then lastly I was in a quite stressful relationship but I really liked him so I kinda just went through with it. The stress was that his family disapproved of him having a relationship and said we couldn't be together so he was being secretive and doing it anyway but we also live quite far away meaning we only saw each a couple hours a week after 4 and abit months of this he decided it was best if we broke up as we were both getting to stressed and it wasn't fair for me and I do agree it's for the best but I'm feeling so heartbroken and lonely without talking to him and knowing I'll never see him again and I'm feeling very unfocused and not motivated to do anything and I'm needing to focus cause I need to revise for my exams that is coming up after the Christmas holidays

Re: Lonely, stressed and heartbroken

Hi @Sadgirl. Firstly, thank you so much for coming to the RO Forum. It sounds like you have quite a few things happening for you emotionally, so I'm glad you came here to talk about it.

 

Losing a family member is a really tough thing to be dealing with. I am very sorry for your loss. Sometimes it's hard for the people around you to understand how you are feeling if they've never experienced it themselves. Have you talked to a family member about how you are feeling? They may be feeling similar things to you. As someone who has lost a close family member myself, something I felt helped me deal with it was letting myself feel the emotions I was feeling, and not bottling it up. It's suprising how good it can feel to talk about and/or allow yourself to cry about something like this. There's a fact sheet here about working through grief if you are interested. It might be a good start in processing your emotions.

 

 

In terms of friends, it sucks to hear you've lost some along the way. I'm glad to hear you still have two friends though! A lot of people have just a couple of really close friends and prefer it that way. Having less friends doesn't make you any less of valuable human being in this world. Maybe think of it this way: You now have two friends to focus on more, spend more time with and to learn more about, which you might not have been able to do before! Smiley Happy

 

Have you tried to talk to your friends about your recent breakup? As I mentioned earlier, it can feel really good to talk about things like that. If not with your friends, maybe a mental health person? If you're not linked in with someone, or don't feel comfortable seeing someone in person just yet, Kids Helpline might be a good place to start- they offer telephone, web and email counselling to people up to 25 and it's all confidential.There's also eheadspace which is chat based. You might feel comfortable talking to them in more depth about your exams as well. In the meantime, here's a some info on beating exam stress and how to study!

 

Please feel free ask for more/other info if some of the above options aren't working for you. Also, if you just want to say hey and have a chat, please do! We're here for you Smiley Happy

 

 

Re: Lonely, stressed and heartbroken

Hi @Sadgirl,

 

Thanks for sharing your story with us. You have been dealing with some difficult emotions and the overwhelming feeling I get from your post is loss. No one should have to deal with loss on their own like that; from grief after the death of a loved one to the changing or ending of relationships, there are ways to cope and there are places to get help.

 

@Rainbow Lane has already given you some of ReachOut's great fact sheets and a few national support services that we highly recommend. Let us know if we can help put you in touch with any other relevant services.

 

It has been a hard year and it is understandable that you are struggling to stay focused right now. Have you ever explored any relaxation techniques? Or do you have someone that you could spend some down time with to relax and recuperate a little? You might also find it helpful to focus on small things first before you start tackling your study. I'm thinking here about practicing a little gratitude. Have you done this before? You can start small with taking photos of things that make you happy or even spending five minutes a week on keeping a gratitude journal.

 

Please keep us updated with how you're doing.

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Re: Lonely, stressed and heartbroken

@Sadgirl

 

Hang in there, time will heal and you will be fine. You will be surprised how quickly it does heal.

 

If you want to forget him then when you miss him focus on that he lives too far and timing isnt right. Dont focus on missing him.

Go out and meet friends, go out and do things you enjoy. Read a book, go exercise, play sports.

 

Take care.