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Lonely

Ok, so sometimes I feel really lonely, but I know I'm not alone. And I think people just find me super annoying all the time and I always feel like I'm bothering the people I'm talking to just by texting/messaging them.... Idk how to stop this feeling, but I also don't want to look at myself and say "You are beautiful" or "You are awesome" or "You are super smart" because I don't want to be conceded.... And I can't tell when guys are flirting with me ever or if they like me or if they actually want to talk to me unless they directly tell me because I don't wanna be all like "Oh yeah, he was totally flirting with me because I'm such hot stuff", ya know..? I don't like complimenting myself because I don't want to sound self-centered and I don't like being the center of attention because I'm pretty sure I'm just being judged...... I just don't want to be annoying or normal and I just want some advice..... And I know what I'm saying sounds stupid and it probably sounds like I'm just looking for attention, but I'm really not...... I just want to get over this lonely and insecure feeling and just be happy with who I am, but I don't know how..... So please, someone help...? But if I sound needy or pushy please just tell me.... :/

Re: Lonely

And just I add on to that, it's really hard for me to work in the working world because I know I'm just in everyone's way..... My step mom always says I'm so antisocial and makes fun of me for being shy and not speaking up when I order in the drive through or that I sound awkward in the drive through or just talking to people in general...it really hurts....it's like no place is safe to be me lol..... Plus my dad and her always compare me to my stepsister just because we're the same age....somehow she's just always better than me..... Then I go over to my moms and I start to think that that's my safe place, but in reality I'm never as good as my two other biological sisters there either..... Idk if I'm actually not getting enough attention or if I'm correct in feeling this way or if I'm just being an annoying drama queen..... Please help.....

Re: Lonely

P.S. There's this one guy in my life who never ceases to make me feel important and special...... I don't know why but he's the only one who can make me feel worth something and important and like I'm not annoying someone....... Like, he's literally just the sweetest..... We tried dating once and I messed it up..... I mean, he was a little possessive/controlling at times but I honestly think that was the influence of his jerk friends........ I love him so much as a best friend, and maybe more than that but I wouldn't let it get any further than friend...... Should I just be happy that at least he cares about me deeply and doesn't think I'm annoying? Or are my feelings right....?

Re: Lonely

But tbh, I don't think he realizes how much he means to me or how just him saying "no, you really aren't annoying me" means to me....... Like I literally burst into tears....... Don't know why I cry, so don't ask, it just warms me up I guess lol...... I wish I could thank him a thousand times and just keep him to myself forever but I know that would get annoying and that it's not fair for me to keep him to myself forever lol.....

Re: Lonely

Hey, hope you're doing ok Smiley Happy

 

(response to first post)

 

It's hard dealing with feeling lonely and being insecure. I feel where you're coming from. We just want to feel a sense of recognition, like to be agnolaged in a positive way.

 

Each guy flirts differently. You might be able to figure out when one guy might be flirting, but when another guy flirts with you in a different way, you might not read it as flirting, but maybe as him just being nice. Cause you can only really compare it to what you know. The general blueprint to a guy flirting with you is that, 1, makes time to talk to you, either face to face or by text, 2, always gives you eye contact, 3, singles you out, maybe your in a group and he talks or says hi to you first, 4, if he knows how to flirt and doesn't get nervous, then he will talk a bit slower, 5, asks you to hang out with him. Those are what come to my mind now. Some guys might do some or all of these things, but are just doing it cause they're nice, and have no other intention but to be your friend. In most cases guyes aren't looking to be just friend. 

 

To be completely happy and comfortable in your own skin you really have to not care what people think of you. It took me alittle while to realise it, but it's true. Sometimes it gets to me where I might feel insecure, but most days I'm good. I might have it a bit easier cause no one's there to talk shit about me casue I've basically have no friends.

 

(response to second post)

 

You have to realise that the change that you might want isn't going to happen over night. It's a process. Meaning its required that you put in some effort here and there. Not saying that you currently aren't cause I dont know. 

 

The first step is you have to acknowledge that you might be antisocial. It's not the end of the world if you are. I am too. I hate talking to people, with that said I do at times want to talk to someone. So I can relate to you some what. When your step mum makes fun of you, or when her and your dad compare you to your sister, all I can say is to ignore it, dont react to what they say (their comments), and don't respond. Just ignore. It will hurt. 

 

(response to third post)

 

That guy, don't lose him. As of now, keep him. I wouldn't say dating him again just because even though you might be attrated to him, you will start to rely on him more to make you feel good. You firrst have to figure out how you will feel good about your self. Figure a way to make yourself happy. Then you will be in a better situation to date. 

 

I hope you can get something out of this @JustALilLonely You seem like a really awesome person. Everything will pan out. Keep a positive mind set even when times are tough. You will get through it

 

 

Sorry is there are any spelling or grammar errors

Re: Lonely

Hey @JustALilLonely, welcome to Reach Out!

 

I just wanted to start by saying that you wouldn't be conceited if you have self-confidence and think you're awesome! It's important to care about yourself and to believe that you are, in fact, great! It seems like you're a pretty humble person, and I am too. I wouldn't feel comfortable by trying to overtly promote myself, but I do have a lot of self confidence and it's something I feel people should take pride in. 

 

I'm sorry to hear that you sometimes feel a bit ridiculed by your step mum because you can be shy at times. There's nothing at all wrong with being quiet or shy at all! Some of the most social, confident people I know come across as shy and/or quiet. As long as you're being yourself, feel free to be as outgoing or shy as you'd like! Have you mentioned the way this makes you feel to your step mum? She might not know how much it affects you.

 

I understand that it can get frustrating being compared to your sisters a lot. Sometimes parents unintentionally do this, and it doesn't mean that they think you're not as good as them. Talking to your mum or dad about how that makes you feel could also make them realise that they sometimes make you feel not so good when they make comparisons.

 

It sounds like you've got a really good friend in the guy you mentioned, which is great and if both of you are happy staying friends, then keep working on making this friendship even stronger! I know it's a massive cliche (and even the lyrics of a song) but good friends are sometimes hard to find!

 

I also noticed that you're from the US. We (Reach Out Australia) are definitely here to chat with you and to listen, but if you'd like to speak with people closer to home, there's also ReachOut.com USA

Re: Lonely

Hey @friz, just wanted to say that your reply to @JustALilLonely was really awesome and insightful! I did have to edit just a couple of things out, because they were in slight breach of RO's community guidelines.

 

We strongly encourage everyone on Reach Out to offer support and their opinions, however we must be mindful not to give out professional advice on matters.

 

Thanks again for taking the time to post such a thoughful reply!

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Re: Lonely

I dont know if this will help but I think it may.

I like to "focus" on that my life have different parts. A personal part that I focus on things that I want to achieve personally ie drawing, reading, gaming, exercising etc. And then there is the social part of my life ie going out with friends, texting friends, meeting new ppl etc.

Im wondering if you are feeling alone even though you are not because there isnt much going on with you personally?
If this is the case, I recommend you to do some meditation. I know it sounds corny or even just go out and take a walk/listen to music. You can find insiprations of what you like to do.

All the best. 

Re: Lonely

i feel lonely all the time i feel like i will never get my happily ever after my heart has been broken so many times i don't know what to do anymore i love my family and friends but its hard seeing happy cpouples because i want that i cry every single time

Re: Lonely

i feel so sad