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Looking for advice for a depressed friend

Ive got a fairly close friend of mine who for the past 2 years suffered from post-concussion syndrome, he hasnt been able to do everything he loves doing in life, mainly paying sport(footy and basketball) and just being around and interacting with other people. All those things are too hard for him to do and he simply cannot do it.

So duriing these past 2 years, one of his friends(a girl) has been helping him out a fair bit, just by being there for him, taking him out for quiet places for food and just talking to him.

Now I havnt really been around the past two years, been overseas and whatnot, but now im back.

So pretty much he fell in love with the girl who has been everything for him recently, when he confessed how he felt she responded that she only loved him as a friend...

This truly broke his heart as the one of the only shining light in his eyes was all but extinguished.

He is now pretty depressed i believe and ive been there for him, talking, just hanging out, doing what i can. But iw asnted to know if anyone had any advice i could take for this matter.

 

Thanks all.

Re: Looking for advice for a depressed friend

hey @Kornag what a lovely pal you are!

High five bro, you are obviously a great friend, well done Smiley Happy

 

I suppose being there for your friend is the main thing, letting him know that you are there to talk or to even sit in silence with him if thats what he needs. You could take him out aswell and hang out, if he needs a little distracting at the moment

 

Are your friend and this girl going to continue hanging out as they were before? I think sometimes when this happens and you still carry on fairly normal, friendships can become even stronger

 

Theres a few fact sheets that might help you out here, helping a friend with depression (whether he has depression or a bit of a sore heart, this fact sheet is still quite good) and what makes a good friend

 

You sound like you are doing a prretty good job so far Smiley Happy you could even ask him too, straight to the source - what can I do to help you or what can we do together to get through this ?

 

Re: Looking for advice for a depressed friend

Hey @Kornag 

 

It's awesome that you're doing what you can to help out your friend during this time. It can be pretty difficult when you've been away for awhile and getting your home legs again.  @hartley_ has offered some great advice in supporting your friend.

 

I think that it's fair game to see if your friend would still be hanging out with this girl as well as if you could talk to her. If you also get to know her and pitch ideas back and forth, teamwork can go a long way. This way, she could give you more insight to what they've been doing during your absence and you could tell her how he's been going lately. Going to the source, asking your friend what he wants to do and how you can help him, could give you some answers as well. You could encourage him to try new things. This could be suggesting that you saw or heard about this really cool thing and that you think it would be awesome that both of you gave it a go. 

 

It's also important not to forget to look after yourself too and take some time out. 

 

Hope this helps and let us know how you go. 

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Stay excellent
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Re: Looking for advice for a depressed friend

 

Hey @Kornag like the others i wanted to recognise what a good friend you have been!!! You have shown to  be a true friend when someone was in need that's amazing. Maybe now that you are back from your trip and will be spending time with him he will be spending less time with the female friend and maybe the feelings will pass. Just try to keep your friend busy and introduce him to others so he can interact with others and not become dependant on one person. 

As @Myvo mentioned you have to remember to also take care of yourself and ensure that although your friend needs you, you need to take time for you.

 

All the best 

Re: Looking for advice for a depressed friend

Thanks so much guys for all the tips!

Ill do what i can, with what ive got.

 

He plans on getting out of town for a few weeks to try clear his head abit. We shall she how that turns out and only hope for the best.

 

Cheers, Kornag

Re: Looking for advice for a depressed friend

Hey @Kornag
You are a great friend and so strong for coming on here and asking for some advice. Everyone has given some awesome tips and I just wanted to say you are awesome Smiley Happy

I think its also important to take care of yourself as well especially when helping someone because sometimes we take on more than we intend on taking and it brings us down emotionally and mentally. So just make sure you are taking care of yourself as well.

Take care and let us know how things go.
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**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Looking for advice for a depressed friend

Hey @kormag
Firstly, i know how hard post concussion syndrome can be to deal with as a friend! So i admire your strength in staying around to help, because it can be very hard. Its a shame for your friend that he fell in love with a friend who was helping him and supporting him, sometimes unacquainted love is so hard to understand. And I'm not sure what advise to give you about that . But i wanted to say- "Doing what you can" in your definition is amazing. Just being there to support him and hanging out with him is really good. Has he ever gone to see someone about what he is going through? Generally post concussion syndrome needs to be constantly monitored so maybe his GP or someone similar would be able to get him in contact with someone who can address his feelings and emotions about it all