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Making Decisions

Hey everyone, I've never started a topic/thread before, so hopefully I am doing it right.

Anyways, I posted here because I want some advice/suggestions for decision making. 
The past few years, Ive found it harder and harder to make decisions. I struggle to make decisions quickly- always terrified I am going to make the wrong choice and there will be no going back. And when I finally do make a decision, I feel extremely nervous that I have chosen the wrong thing.
As soon as someone questions or challenges a choice I've made, I immediately loose faith in myself and become so unsure that I end up doing nothing at all.

 

This is especially the case with school work. Often I try to study as much as I can, but lately I have recognised that I need to take breaks to remain productive and motivated. I have started doing more exercise as it helps me focus and I like feeling fit. It is also a great de-stressor from study.

However, whenever I ask my parents (particularly my dad) to go to the gym, I feel confident about the decision until they question if I should be studying instead. I know personally that I work better when I get exercise, but as soon as they ask I feel really guilty for taking time off study. This leaves me completely doubting my decision, and I end up either:

a) feeling trapped, but staying home anyways to do study.

b) going to the gym and feeling really guilty for being there.

I just wish there was a way I could be more sure of myself. Its just so hard to tell sometimes if Im doing the right thing. When people (especially parents) challenge me on the choices I've made, I feel really unconfident and feel like Im making bad decisions.

Re: Making Decisions

Hey @Jardin, thanks for posting this thread Smiley Happy. I struggle with making decisions as well (and making sure that the decisions I've made are right) and so it has caused me to overthink my decision-making more than necessary. Is this something you can relate to?

I think it's awesome that you've recognised that taking study breaks to exercise is important to stay productive and motivated. That's an amazing decision in itself. I think what has worked for me in terms of not feeling guilty about the decisions is making a schedule where I plan my study time and breaks. This is so that I don't feel as guilty taking breaks because I've already scheduled in time to study. Does that sense? Do you reckon this might help?
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: Making Decisions

Yep @Esperanza67, I think I can definitely relate to over-thinking things. I guess I mull over a decision way to much- even when I don't need to. I know that in order to move forward, wrong decisions are necessary. I just need to stop beating myself up so much when I make them.

 

I think planning a schedule is a great idea Smiley Happy 

I'll try and give it shot.

Re: Making Decisions

Hey there @Jardin,
I feel you so much with this post. I often stop myself from making decision because I don't want it to be "wrong".
As @Esperanza67 mentioned, taking breaks from study is so, so important and it's awesome that you're able to recognise that studying after exercising helps you study better Smiley Happy

One thing for decision making that helps me is making a pros-cons list. Even just a quick one in my head where I put a value to each option. An example was when I needed to decide if I was going to drive or take the train to unis in the morning. Trains means not driving through traffic but driving means not dealing with people on the train and ultimately driving one because personal space. I decided that having personal space was more important than not driving through traffic.
Similarly, deciding to go to the gym might have more positives than staying home.
I've also found that having the pros and cons system gives myself a back-up when I doubt my decision. That big ole BUT that says, "oh BUT you should take the train" gets curbed when I have a reason for my decision, if that makes any sense.
I hoped that helped a bit and wasn't just a ramble Smiley Tongue You can do it! Smiley Very Happy
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Guess what day it was!!! It was Wear It Purple Day!! Come on over and learn all about what it is and what you can still do!

Re: Making Decisions

Hey @Jardin! How are you going today? Have you managed to try out the things @N1ghtW1ng and I have suggested?
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around
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Re: Making Decisions

Hey @N1ghtW1ng and @Esperanza67,

thank you both so much for your replies Smiley Happy 

Sorry I haven't answered for quite a while- I had my HSC trials on the past few weeks and was studying like crazy.

I haven't had time yet, but I am definitely going to try a pros and cons list. It sounds like a really great method for making decisions and I think it will help heaps Heart

 

Re: Making Decisions

It's all good @Jardin Smiley Very Happy. I remember I was studying crazy for my trials years ago. It's good to hear that you're keen on making a pros and cons list, feel free to keep us updated on how you're travelling Smiley Happy.
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: Making Decisions

That's great @Jardin Smiley Happy Good luck with all your studying Smiley Happy
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Guess what day it was!!! It was Wear It Purple Day!! Come on over and learn all about what it is and what you can still do!