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Re: Mental Health Help

Absolutely right @scared01
It is a hard one for sure. I know ultimately I need something else, either a different medication or an add on. With anxiety increasing and really hammering at me, and not being able to quieten it despite all the rationalizing and attempts at self-compassion, I'm exhausted by it. It's exhausting to live through and not through toddler tantrums because I am struggling to cope in the supermarket because there are too many people or because it's too loud. The other thing is the anxiety is absolutely hammering me at work; I've been there 6 months now (yay) and I still get incredibly anxious to ask a question or make a mistake. I even feel incredibly bad when a mistake has been found, and even if my manager says she made the same mistake part of me still feels inadequate. Some of this my psychologist has said is quite possibly due to past trauma with another workplace, and some of it I know is yet another indicator of my low confidence and self-esteem.

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Mental Health Help

Hey there @Bee 

 

It's not nice to hear that you've been getting hammered by anxiety. It's something that can really wear you down and take up so much energy - so I hope you're doing things to preserve yourself even if it's something small. Do you feel like you could speak to someone at your workplace about what you're feeling? Heart 

Re: Mental Health Help

hey @Bee
sorry to hear about your anxiety lately. I do hope that settles down soon. your right anxiety can be so exhausting and tiring even when we do self care etc.

do you think the more time your at work the better your anxiety will become? would it be worth speaking to your manager about your experiences previously and what is making you nervous?
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Mental Health Help

@Bre-RO I don't want to talk to work about how I'm feeling. Mostly because I've had very negative experiences with work, and I'm trying so hard to get used to a positive workplace. I can seek support when I'm stressed or unsure about something work related. But if I'm feeling sub-par I'm scared to ask for feedback. I basically am just plodding along and taking any direction given by my manager. I'm also choosing to keep a clear boundary with my manager at work.

@scared01 soomethings ARE getting better with time. Like I'm able to ask the business managers for assistance with an invoice (instead of always and only asking my manager) and I'm getting used to the idea that I'll have to make phonecalls to customers for a couple different reasons. This is hard because I'm asking for info. Yet I have no drama answering the phone when it rings. But I notice there are times I ring and afterwards go "that wasn't a complete mess of a call". I do notice that I am a LOT more comfortable making those calls when I am alone in the office. I feel like when there is someone else in the room that I am being listened to and monitored every single second. (Stupid anxiety!)
As I was saying above, I'm choosing to keep clear boundaries with my work colleagues. I engage with conversation but I guess I'm scared of getting too close and either not being liked or something. Where as professional me has a mutual respect with colleagues and that works well.

This last week has been okay. I've had a mix of both time alone and time with both my manager and other office colleague (we usually only overlap by 1.5-2hrs. And mostly I'm in a different room for that time) I've made a couple calls to customers. I've gotten most of my work done already. And have a clear plan for tomorrow. One thing that is helping is that my work is similar each week. So the surprises and issues I do get are what keeps me engaged and focused. But the similarity in each week and routine of work is helping ease the anxiety of getting into work, its now just getting through the random anxiety that pops up unexpectedly.

(I feel like I've rambled a lot here)

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart
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Re: Mental Health Help

Hey @Bee 

 

I totally get that - it take awhile to adjust to a positive workplace if you haven't always been in one. It's good to hear that it is a positive workplace though - in time I'm sure it will get progressively easier. Despite the anxiety are you enjoying your role? Heart 

Re: Mental Health Help

@Bre-RO I am enjoying my role, it's along the lines of what I've wanted to do for a few years now so that's good Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart