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Moving on....

I've been in and out of depressions, different counsellours, and suicide attempts for the past 4 years now.. My biggest wish is to move on, be able to forget and just live my life being awesome and believing in myself! Some days it works out brilliant, others I don't get out of bed.. I've come to rely on one friend A LOT, and as soon as he is gone, I find myself wondering around in darkness not knowing what direction to take... He's trying to help me be more independent, but it's not easy....

 

I've lost trust for counselling, don't believe in it after all the times I've been let down.... I don't want professional help, I just want to find the small things that makes life easier, but I'm lost....

 

Sorry if this is all weird....

Re: Moving on....

Hi Sofia,

Thanks for coming and sharing your story with us here on ReachOut.
I think you really underestimate yourself - if you've been dealing with this for 4 years and have days where you're just fine, then I think that's a fantastic achievement! I'm not sure it's possible to just forget about what's happened in the past, it helps us to become who we are. But it's definitely possible to keep putting one foot in front of the other and face every new day as it comes with the best attitude you can. We all have bad days - try not to beat yourself up about them. Instead celebrate the wins, no matter how small Smiley Happy

I'm sorry to hear you've had bad experiences with counselors. I'm sure there are others here who can relate. It can be a process to find the right counsellor, or you may be able to find other treatment options. Have you talked to a doctor / GP at all? You could try Mood Gym which is a great online resource that's free: https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
There are some self-guided books and such (even phone apps) on some of the therapies you can get via a counselor or psychologist - but it's important to first get a diagnosis first (sounds like you might already have one?) so you can look into the right books to get.

You can also try calling Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. They do have counselors but they can also refer you to other services in your area that might help. They even have online counseling which might be something you feel more comfortable trying.

Take care,
JD.
Jay

Re: Moving on....

Hey Sofia

 

You're doing all the right things. Keep talking to counsellors, friends etc, keep doing those positive things your doing.

 

But start thinking about your ideal self. What you want to look like, sound like, act like etc... Imagine yourself as the picture of perfect health, both physical and mental. 

 

Now think about what that person would do on a daily basis. What would their life be like? How would they wake up in the morning, eat lunch, hang out with friends etc? If it helps, write it down, and be as detailed as possible. The more you can envision your perfect self, the easier it will be for you to become your ideal self.

 

Once you have your self in mind, start acting like her. If your ideal self is intelligent, start researching random but interesting topics online. If you ideal self is fit and healthy, start a fitness program and eat right. If your perfect self is social, start doing the social activities that your ideal self would be interested in.

 

But you're doing a fantastic job already. This is all just a suggestion, but what you're doing already is working and it will show great results.

 

That's my 2cents, hope it helped.

 

- J

Re: Moving on....

Hey Sofia 

You are so brave, I hope you know that because it takes a lot of courage to post on the forums and its amazing that you want to move on, you might not ever be able to forget all you can do is grow from your experiences. Some days will be better than most but you need to be positive and sometimes you need to be purposely positive, train yourself to be positive even if its for a short time. 

 

Its great to have support and I'm glad you have that because they can help you grown but when you are alone, you need to do what makes you happy, do what you love, do what makes you smile to keep you positive. Have a read of some of these coping strategies http://au.reachout.com/Building-better-coping-skills

 

If you feel alone and want to build your positivity come on the forums and join the awesome discussions, my favourites are all here because they brighten my mood everyday and so you never know this might be what you need http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Everyday-life-stuff/bd-p/Everyday_life_stuff

 

Take care of yourself, you are so strong and I believe you can move on and be happy Smiley Happy

_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**
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Re: Moving on....

Thank you guys,
To be very very honest I've not done any kind of professional counseling in the past 3 years... I tried a handful different back then, but it all came down to broken promises and dragging information out of me so I gave up... And still to this day I'm scared about even thinking of it Smiley Sad

I've really tried to sort it out, done my best, but it doesn't work..... I've ended up relying sp much on one person that I basically can't take a proper decision myself anymore.. I ask about everything, even for permission to feel proud, simply because I'm scared people will judge me for being proud of the littlest thing Smiley Sad

Re: Moving on....

Hi Sofia,

It's so strange isn't it, the way people try to put you down if you're proud of something about yourself? Try to say you're up yourself or something like that!? Don't listen to them - you have every right to be proud of yourself for how far you've come. It's a challenge to get through life for most people, but even more so if you have the additional burden of mental health issues.

Would you consider trying a counselor again? If you have a doctor you trust ask if they can refer you to a few - then try ringing each of them and 'interviewing' them. That way you can get a little bit of a feel for what they're like and if you think you'll be able to work well with them.

There are a few tips here on finding some help: http://au.reachout.com/~/link.aspx?_id=7829854B65BF4BFAAB9E0990F0D03183&_z=z

JD.

Re: Moving on....

I'd actually think about trying it again if it wasn't for my parents.. Not having the best relationship with them and it's just really awkward to talk to them about emotions so I don't.... Adding on they seem to think counselling is a bad thing and they tell me that some social worker will come on the case and judge them for being bad parents! Smiley Sad As all my other tries ended up as a Duty of Care (or whatever it's called) they eventually found out and got so mad at me they still don't trust me.... And I don't want to be "caught" again Smiley Sad

Re: Moving on....

sorry to hear that, Sofia Smiley Sad

have you tried Kids Helpline before? the online counseling might work for you http://www.kidshelp.com.au/teens/
Is there a school counselor or something who can help you to talk to your parents and try to convince them that you wanting / needing counseling is not a judgement on their parenting?

JD.

Re: Moving on....

Not that I can think of, been feeling so down lately Smiley Sad just want to give up on everything right now....

Thanks for trying to help Smiley Happy

Re: Moving on....

Hey Sofia

Don't give up, you are allowed to feel down but pick yourself up and do something once everyday just to make you smile even if its watching comedy movie.

We are always here for you Smiley Happy
_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**