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My parent(s) won’t listen to me.

My dad passed away 3 years ago from brain cancer, and my mum has been dating this guy on/off for most of that time. 

Her boyfriend is really rude and makes me feel uncomfortable- to the point where I don’t feel comfortable enough to wear the clothes I like because I fear him watching me.

There have been a few incidents where he’s gotten mad at me and either hurt me or scared me a great deal. My mum doesn’t know about this because when it first happened and I told her, she ended up taking his side and got mad at me saying I “lied”.

They’re current in an “off” stage of their relationship and she blames me for it.

Last weekend we got into a small argument because I did something wrong with our dryer and she got so mad she hit me.

i was crying for so long and after I calmed down I tried talking to her about it. She just kept cutting me off and wouldn’t listen to me.

we haven’t spoken since then and she sent me a message and said since I’m working I have to pay 1/2 of our rent, water/electricity bill, Internet etc. and I have to learn how to drive on my own, meanwhile paying my own tutoring, paying for taxis for work etc. I’m 16.

Im really hurt. She won’t listen and I feel like she doesn’t care. I have an older brother who’s 18, he doesn’t work and she doesn’t ask for any of this from him. 

I want to leave home, since im paying for my own things anyway. I cook 9/10 times (don’t get me wrong I love cooking) but sometimes I’m too tired and she also expects me to pay for the groceries.

My dad left my brother and I a will so we could pay for uni or for our first car and she has spent it all.

im feeling very lonely and I miss my dad so much. It’s Father’s Day on the 2nd of September and my birthday is the 1st.

I can’t afford a psychologist and I just moved schools and I don’t know any school councillors.

Please help Smiley Happy

Re: My parent(s) won’t listen to me.

Welcome to RO @AlphaBe and thank you for sharing what's been going on for you. It sounds like quite a scary and lonely situation to be in and I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I would definitely recommend seeking professional support if you can, as some of the behaviours you have described could be considered incidents of family violence. For a little more information about this, perhaps take a look at the following RO article on abuse and violence.

 

As money is a concern, I would highly recommend calling either Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 (avail 24/7), which is a free, private and confidential counselling service for young people aged 5 to 25 years; or considering what you've described another good support service, would be 1800 Respect (1800 737 732), which is a national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling and information referral service.

 

How recent was your change of school? Do you know if they have a student wellbeing coordinator or department you could chat to?

Re: My parent(s) won’t listen to me.

Thank you, I’ll definitely have a look at the article and contact the kids helpline.

Sometimes just knowing what to do next in a situation where you feel trapped, can mean the world.

Smiley Happy 

Re: My parent(s) won’t listen to me.

Definitely understand that feeling @AlphaBe. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask, we're all here to support you through this Heart

Re: My parent(s) won’t listen to me.

Hi @AlphaBe

 

I'm sorry about your loss. I'm so angry about your situation, it sucks, it's frustration, it's unfair. There's so many words to describe it. It sounds like your living situation is horrible. Everything from your thing with your mother and your mother's on-again, off-again boyfriend. Are there any relatives that you're close with? Grandparents? Aunts? Uncles? Maybe see if you're able to move out with them. Say you're willing to pay rent, that always sweetens the deal. 

 

Moving out by yourself would be extremely hard, but if you can handle it and is up to the task then all the power to you! I'm not a lawyer or anything but surely your mother can't touch the money that was left to you in your late father's will. Maybe go to a lawyer and get one of those free consultations and see what they suggest. I hope everything gets better soon and take advantage of any government service that is available to you. 

Re: My parent(s) won’t listen to me.

Hey there @AlphaBe and welcome to ReachOut Smiley Happy How has your week been?

I'm sorry that things have been tough for you, it sounds like things are overwhelming right now, is that right? It's amazing that you're able to share what's going on and know what you want to do Smiley Happy
Have you tried contacting any of the helplines or anyone else around you about your situation?

I hope you're having a good week Smiley Happy

Re: My parent(s) won’t listen to me.

Hi, AlphaBe. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I hope this doesn't sound silly but is there a close relative who can probably help? The first one to come in mind is your brother. Maybe your mom will listen to both of you.

 

I'll be praying for you. Hang in there!

Re: My parent(s) won’t listen to me.

Hi there @AlphaBe, I am terribly sorry for your loss and hope that you are well. It sounds like a horrible situation you're in, it's completely unfair on you that your mum expects you to play mother, as you work and go to school. How have you been finding your new school? I like the idea of talking to the Kids Hotline, which can assist you with counselling when you need it. I would also recommend getting yourself familiar with your new school and find out a few things about counselling. I don't know if this will help in anyway, but I just want you to know that I am sending love and prayers that you are safe. You are very strong, and I hope you can find some assistance very soon. Keep us updated on how you are going Smiley Happy