cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

My story; bullying.

Hey, my names Cassy.
Im 15.

I know what it's like to feel different, i know what it's like to feel out of place. I feel it everyday.
I walk past people at school and i can feel there eyes following me as i walk by, i hear there words drifting as i walk past, i hear there laugh. Everytime i hear them it brings me down that little bit more.
When im not at school my 'friends' (who i know now aren't my friends at all) talk about me and call me names and actually plan rumours to spread about me they tell everyone im a sl*t that takes people boyfriends away and im a bit*h and have no friends. Which is now true thanks to them.
It doesn't ever take much to bring me down. My bestfriends mum hates me. She calls me a bit*h  over messages and even where everyone else can see on facebook but i just say 'i already knew' and smile. But it eats away inside me. I want to get away from her but the only way i can do that is to let go of him, and that's something im not prepared to do.
I want to move away somewhere were people will actually care about me and look after me. but i have no where to go and i don't want to leave my family.
I tell my mum i want to leave school at the end of this year but she says i need my education, i never tell her why i want to leave, i can't. I don't tell her about his mum because i cant do that either. I don't want to lose him because of his mum when i can just ignore it. i dont even tell him about it.
I always have a smile on my face pretending nothings wrong but some nights i cry myself to sleep, others i just stay up and let the words of others eat at me until i fall asleep.

I self harm, i know that sounds pathetic and gutless and what ever else, but there still there, that just look like cat scratches, that's why i do it.

I get the occasional suicide thoughts but iv'e seen how much it affects peolpe.

I don't want to do this anymore.
But i can't give up because there's a reason iv'e held on so long, i just don't know what that reason is yet.
If you read up to hear, thankyou, i appreciate it.
im also hear for anyone that needs someone to talk to, comment or pm me.
Thanks guys. xxx

Re: My story; bullying.

Hey Cassy, it's awesome you are here and posting. Be proud of yourself for that it probably wasn't easy. Even though things sounds rough, I'm interested to hear from you about the little things that help you make it through each day. For example, you talk about caring about your best friend a lot - what is it about him that helps you cope? Is he a good listener? Does he make you laugh? Or do you like that you can just be around him and nothing needs to be said? What ever it is that your friendship does to make you care about it so much, we'd love to hear about it.

As you can see this section is called Getting Help, and I'm so interested to hear from you about what helps you. It could be a person, an activity, or a thing. It could even be your cat! What ever it is, no matter how small - I'm keen to hear about it.

 

Oh and by the way, do check out the Guidelines as I had to edit your post a little bit to keep it within guidelines - we can only allow people to talk about self-harm in general terms as it can be 'triggering' to others - that is, upset or remind someone else who has also experienced self harm before.

Keep reaching out and hope to see you round here much more, we're so happy you found us! Smiley Happy

 

Guidelines: http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Welcome-and-Announcements/Forum-Guidelines/m-p/16#U16

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: My story; bullying.

If these people can't accept you for who you are, they aren't worth your time or tears. Seriously. You are awesome and don't let anyone tell you differently! 

 

Next time they start: Shrug your shoulders(eyebrow raises are brilliant too) and walk away. They'll be SO MAD, it's hilarious! Smiley Happy Believe me, it works. If you act confident, they lose their power over you. As for phone messages- delete them. Leaving them there, just makes things worse.

 

Writing an email or letter to your Mum'd help as she'd understand why you want to leave. I communicate with mine via email all the time.

 

Give Kids Helpline a call(1800 55 1800), email or web counselling. They are awesome and so supportive.      

 

Good Luck!! Smiley Happy

Re: My story; bullying.

Welcome Cassy 

 

You are amazing, you have come on the forums and shared your story and thats hard to do and you did that so be very proud of yourself. You have gone through so much and its disheartening to see that your "friends" backstabbed you and that your best friends mum treats u so terribly. That is really sad and I think you are so strong to go through that and here you are asking for help. 

 

Writing a letter to your mum might help you get what you want out and for her to understand what you are going through, is that something that you would want to do? 

 

You are not pathetic, you are in pain and taking care of yourself is important and if that means that you stay away from people that hurt you to take care of yourself, that is something u have to do because you are important. You deserve the best and I hope you know that, is there anything that you enjoy and that makes you happy that you could do instead of turning to the negative 

 

Have a look at some of these forum convos that might help you to find the positives in your everyday life http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Everyday-life-stuff/bd-p/Everyday_life_stuff

 

Take care of yourself and hope to see you around in the forums. 

_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: My story; bullying.

He helps me cope because he's just there. He's always there. I know he's always there.

He knows when im sad even if were messaging each other on facebook, he can still tell by the way i talk and if i send smiley faces or not. He is a good listener, he's the only one that will stay up till midnight to listen to me blabber on about anything and everything. He's makes me smile everytime i see his name. When im with him it's just silence. But it gives me goosebumps.

He's everything.

He sends me goodnight/morning messages nearly everyday. He's just amazing.

He got bullied when he was younger and he tried to hang himself, he was walking down the road to his shed with rope and a knife,  but Im so glad the police found him when they did. If they didn't we'd both be partying in heaven right now.

Im so glad i have him and he has me.

I love him, <3

Re: My story; bullying.

I live with my parents, im only 15.

but i can't handle school but mum just argues with me everytime i say i wan't leave. i can't tell her why, it's just impossible. i cant.

 

Thankyou for those kind words, your beautiful!

Re: My story; bullying.

Hey Cassy

 

You mentioned that you've told your mum you want to leave school and that she's argued with you about that - but you haven't told her why, so she's probably quite confused. Perhaps if she understood what was going on she'd be more able to help you find a way to get through this time. It can be really hard talking to parents about stuff like this... some people find it easier to write a letter where they can get everything out, & then hand that over rather than talk about things straight out. If you're not able to tell her, it's definitely worth talking to someone at school about - like a welfare teacher, school counsellor or year advisor. They can help you sort out what's going on and what will be the best options for you to take (whether that's staying at school, changing schools, leaving school, going to TAFE, etc etc). Problems are much easier dealt with when we're not trying to do it alone. 

 

In the meantime, what things can you do to help you combat how low you've been feeling? When I'm having a hard time, my default is to go for a drive to my favourite place, & hang out there for a while listening to music super loud in my car. It always helps clear my head. Have you got a pick me up song that you could play? Anyone at school you can talk to? Does writing/drawing/painting etc help get stuff out a bit? Even having little things to help get through the days might be helpful until you can get the bigger friendship/school problems sorted.

 

xG

Re: My story; bullying.

What is stopping you from telling your parents? Like what is it that is scaring you the most about it?
_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: My story; bullying.

i think what worry's me the most is telling them that i get bullied, like, i just don't want too.. it just scares me heaps

Re: My story; bullying.

Are you worried about how they will react?

Although the page itself isn't directly related, this part about "Talking it out" might help you approach it: https://au.reachout.com/Family-conflict-with-parents#talking

Maybe someone else here has had to deal with this feeling as well? Does anyone else have any suggestions for how to approach your parents if you're afraid to tell them something?