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Need to get everything together

Hey guys. I'm feeling so overwhelmed at the moment and I really need your help I think. I'm so anxious that I literally feel like I'm going to throw up every time I even let myself think about what's going on. All I can do is sleep and cry. Apologies in advance for the super long post, I can't get in to see my YCC at headspace because she's booked out for a few weeks at a time.

Basically, while I do work full time, I'm in a lot of debt. I'm paying rent, a storage unit, a credit card that almost went in to default, a debt for an old storage unit... all of this comes to at least 2/3 of my pay each week. So I really have no wriggle room for anything. I'm trying to save money so that I can fix my car so that I can get to and from work even. Today I got hit with a tax bill of almost $1000 that has gone to debt collections - I only got the letter today but it had to be paid in full by the 10th.

On top of that, my ex is emotionally abusive and manipulative. He's been trying to force me to get back with him by threatening to end his life. Yesterday I called the police to his location because I was sure he was going to do so. This morning I got a whole bunch of abusive messages, because the police went to the house we rented (I'm not staying there at the moment), and his Dad is a drug addict who had drugs laying around when they got there. They've given me and my Dad (who also lives there) 2 weeks to get out. I live in a reasonably small city so it's difficult to find somewhere appropriate to rent. I'm so worried about actually getting approved because I don't have money for a bond. And it's unlikely that we will get approved because Dad doesn't work and I've only picked up my job in the last 3 months.

Everything just feels like way too much right now and I don't know what to do 😔
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Re: Need to get everything together

That does sound like a lot to be dealing with right now @dustb0wldance.
I'm probably not the best person for advice, but I want to let you know i'm here for you if you need.

I think it's important to take some time out for yourself as well and to do some self-care.
There's also a worry app that reach out have created that might work for you. It basically sets an alarm for you so that you have only a certain time to think about your worries and you document them throughout the day. It's useful so you can move on from them at the time and get the day over with.

Also, is public transport an option for a little while until you can get your car fixed?

Take some deep breaths and relax if you can.
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Re: Need to get everything together

Thank you @Alison5. There is probably more but I think that's the main things I'm worried about at the moment. I really appreciate you offering to be here. Smiley Happy

It's just hard. I feel like any self care is selfish and I don't deserve it. I'm also having trouble staying out of bed. I just have zero motivation hey.

I've never seen or heard of the app before, what's it called?? Not sure how well I'd go with it but I'll give anything a try.

Not from where I live currently. And even then, because I supervise a restaurant, my hours are erratic and public transport finishes hours before I do of a night sometimes
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Re: Need to get everything together

Self-care is very important and you do deserve it.
The app is called Reachout Worry Time.

Keep us posted on how you are going @Dusb0wldancer.
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Re: Need to get everything together

hey @dustb0wldance it certainly seems like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment!

We'll try to help out as much as we can.

is there someone you work with, with whom you might be able to get a lift until your car is fixed?  

// Spiral outward, keep going. //