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Never feeling good enough

Hi, so I sometimes get these off days where I feel so crappy about myself. I am in my early 20s and are in a happy relationship yet I dont have any friends. I have tried to make friendships but I struggle because i can sometimes be awkward and shy at times. Whenever I meet new people thoughts in my mind run through me head telling me I'm boring, not worthy of friends, i'm being stupid, why did you say that? You idiot you look dumb. All things like that. I feel like I cant be myself around other people besides my family and boyfriend. I really want to break out of this unhealthy mentality but i dont know how. I've tried to think positively yet i always seem to get nervous and think the worst case in my head. 

 

I am struggling these days because i havent got a job and have tried to hard to get one after countless interviews. All i have is a degree i cant do anything with. I feel like everyone else is doing so much better than me in their lives. I feel so lonely these days. I just want a friend I can talk to.

 

Help

 

Re: Never feeling good enough

Hey @LeilaLo. I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time at the moment, but congratulations on reaching out and seeking some help. That's a great first step. 

 

It's fantastic to hear that you are in a good relationship and that you feel comfortable around your family and boyfriend. It's so special to have those safe places and people that make you feel like you can be yourself.

 

I can definitely relate to what you're saying about the difficulties of making new friends. While I can't speak to your experience, similar thoughts run through my head in social situations. It makes things so hard! When you're in these sorts of situations, what do you normally do to try and keep those thoughts at bay? 

 

I'm also sorry that you're finding it hard to get a job. What kinds of jobs would you be interested in? 

Re: Never feeling good enough

I try to think in my head just speak who cares but then i end up over thinking and over analysing situations and making myself feel upset or annoyed and then i slowly stop speaking altogether.

 

I am looking for anything cafe work, retail, interior design jobs with my degree but are still yet to land any jobs. I have had interviews where i think i did well but i never land the job.

Re: Never feeling good enough

Ahh I know that feeling, it sucks, right? If you don't mind me asking, are you currently seeing a psychologist or counsellor?

 

That's awesome @LeilaLo, it's great that you're putting yourself out there and going to interviews. I guess it's not much advice, but keep persevering and applying for jobs. It can be so disheartening not the land the job you want, but if you keep throwing your hat in the ring, something will come through. Have you tried any online job search engines?

Re: Never feeling good enough

Hey @LeilaLo just thought I would check in on you. How was your day today? what did you get up to? I can soooo relate to the struggles of finding a job. I have been trying since early January and haven't been successful with any jobs that relate to my degree. It's extremely frustrating and I often want to give up, but if it helps ease your mind I know quite a few people my age (early 20s) who are going through the same struggle of not being able to find a job, so it seems like it's a stage that a lot of people go through after graduating uni. So don't give up! Maybe research some of your local recruitment agencies, these companies help people find jobs that are of interest to you and are relevant to your qualifications. We both have to find that strength to keep trying and keep applying for those jobs we want! Smiley Happy 

 

That sucks to hear that you are having issues in social situations, I can definitely think of times  where my social scenarios have been really intimidating and scary. What are your hobbies or interests? You could maybe join a social group (e.g. sporting, gaming, art etc.) and that way you could meet people that share your interests? This may help ease your nerves when meeting new people because you already know you share a common interest.

Re: Never feeling good enough

@LeilaLo  Welcome to Reachout. That must be really hard on you.

 

It is okay to be shy sometimes, it is okay to be you. You should not worry about what people think about you and just concentrate on what makes you happy. Also, I am really happy for you that you have a healthy and a happy relationship with your family and your boyfriend Smiley Happy.

 

Have you considered joining any societies or clubs that would be of your interest like a sports club or a dance club ?. These are some places where you can meet with people who may have similar interests like you. 

 

I hope this helps you in some way Smiley Happy

Re: Never feeling good enough

Hey @LeilaLo hope you're doing okay Smiley Happy

 

I can relate so bad with what you're going through. I'm in my early 20s too, and I'm really shy and awkward around strangers, and when I try to make friends, the way I act makes me want to hide my face forever from how embarrassing I can be Smiley Frustrated. It's awesome that you recognise that thinking positively might help, and that you've tried it as well. From my experience, thinking positively isn't something that comes naturally immediately, and it can sometimes take ages to get into some sort of rhythm. Good luck and hang in there if you wanna keep giving positive thinking a shot!

 

I can also feel you on the job struggle/comparing yourself to others. When this happens to me, I try to focus on my own growth, and comparing my current progress now than to what it was a year ago. I think it's really easy for us to overlook our own achievements (e.g. getting your degree is no easy thing, congrats!), and comparing yourself to others makes it too easy to push aside your own achievements because it seems like everyone has already done more. 

 

Good luck on your job hunt! And know that everyone here is happy to talk if you need Heart

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Re: Never feeling good enough

Dont worry everything would be fine soon.