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Not coping

I want to ask for help but I don't want to be hospitalised and I don't want to talk to the crisis team because they're useless. 

I'm so worried about a sibling who's struggling with their mental health but I'm at a loss as to how to help and I am struggling so much myself it's making it really difficult. The anxiety is making me sick and shaky, I'm so scared they'll hurt or try to kill themself or just keep being sad, and I can't think of anything to do to make it better. 

I feel so hopeless and sad. Today in dbt group I just started crying. 

I'm pretending everything's going well because my parents are so stressed and I don't want to add more stress to them. Even though I saw my dbt psych yesterday, I don't know how to get through the next four days until I see my normal counsellor. 


Re: Not coping

Hi @DruidChild, this sounds like an awful situation, and I'm really sorry you're going through this. To care that much for a sibling is such a nice trait, albeit one that is causing a lot of hassle at the moment!

Just wanted to double check that you personally are safe right now? Heart

Re: Not coping

I'm safe right now @mrmusic Heart

Re: Not coping

Hey there @DruidChild,


Thank you for reaching out to us today. I can understand that you don't want to go to hospital or talk to someone who doesn't help you. Aside from your regular counselor on Thursday, is there anyone else you can reach out to tonight for support? Such as KHL or Lifeline


I am so sorry to hear about your sibling, it is hard to imagine what it must be like for you to know this about them. ReachOut does have some articles on helping friends that might shed some light on things you can do to help your sibling. This article in particular on helping a friend with depression might be useful, especially the last point of taking care of yourself. It goes to show how compassionate and kind you are that you're afraid for your sibling, it's okay to feel this way. It is scary when someone we know is going through a tough time and there's nothing we can do to help them. Do you think talking to a helpline, or encouraging them to talk to a helpline, could help you with these feelings? 


What are some things you can do tonight to keep yourself safe? 


I am finishing with ReachOut this week, say good-bye here. I'll miss you all!

Re: Not coping

Thank you so much for confirming that you're currently safe @DruidChild. Please remember your supports if you need them, and if you or your sibling becomes unsafe, please call 000 straight away. Heart


Whilst I can't say that I've had a sibling struggle with their mental health, I have had a very close friend who was struggling at the same time I was, and it was really hard. I understand where you're coming from totally. I think that the articles @Jay-RO linked are really good resources, and I would also like to second their point about how important self care is in this situation. What can you do to look after yourself at the moment?


You've said that you want to ask for help, but don't want to go to hospital or speak to the crisis team. Is there a helpline you would feel comfortable speaking to? We are here to listen as well of course. Heart

Re: Not coping

Thank you for the support @mrmusic and @Jay-RO, they didn’t seem to want to talk to me but at least I made sure they ate some food. 


Thank you for the articles. I had a quick read and they look good and helpful. 


I really don’t want to talk to a helpline. I don’t really want to talk to anyone, I just want to not be here anymore. I have to get ready for work tomorrow but if I get time I might watch some tv or listen to music or something as self care.

Re: Not coping

Hey @DruidChild, just checking in, how's it going right now?

Practising self-care sounds like a really good idea! Did you end up watching some tv or listening to some music to try relax?

We're having a SLOW-MO Getting Real chat to do with Generational Differences, starting on Monday the 11th of November! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: Not coping

@ecla34 thanks for checking in, I’m just listening to music atm. I still feel so scared and sad and hopeless Smiley Sad 

Re: Not coping

@DruidChild it certainly sounds like there is a LOT going on for you! Hugs

You've received some awesome advice and links Smiley Happy

You mentioned that your crisis team is useless, I'm sorry to hear you're not finding them helpful. What could they do differently that you would find helpful?

I know from my experience of caring for someone with a mental health condition that it can be very overwhelming and taxing, and there is always that worry about how they are doing. I know from interacting with you how caring you are and I wanted to say that it's admirable and so brave of you to be so involved in helping your sibling when you are struggling so much yourself. Sometimes it's not about making the situation better but just being there for them. Sitting in the emotion with them and being that supporting hug Heart

Sometimes talking to people can feel pretty overwhelming, is there something that works for you during those times?
Crying is okay too! I had a good cry recently and a couple hours after it felt good, I'd released the sadness. Do you find crying helps sometimes?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Not coping

@DruidChild that sounds beyond frustrating and scary Smiley Sad i'm glad you're having a quiet moment for yourself right now, i can hear how much you love and support your sibling, but you matter too! <3 i don't have anything to add to what @Bee said, but i just wanted to let you know that i'm thinking of you <3

We're having a SLOW-MO Getting Real chat to do with Generational Differences, starting on Monday the 11th of November! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart