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Re: Not coping

Thanks for the hugs @Bee Heart With the crisis team, they just don’t really do anything...like they’ll do a phone call and ask if you’re sleeping, if you’re hearing voices, if you have plans to kill yourself...and that’s it. There’s no real support or anything. My DBT therapist wanted me to think about going to this respite place where people with mental illnesses can go and stay for a couple weeks to get 24/7 support without being hospitalised. I really don’t want to upset my family but doing that though, cause they would be upset and angry at me Smiley Sad 

 

Thank you, it’s true that sometimes just being there is the best thing. It’s hard when someone is isolating themselves though. I’m so worried and guilty and I feel like it’s my fault (my mother has told me that when I’m hospitalised it traumatises the entire family so it is my fault). It’s bringing up not only a lot of anxiety but a lot of insecurity and memories of someone else I really loved who stopped talking to me and it’s all so much and I’m so tired. At this point I would kill myself just to get to sleep without nightmares and without waking up. 

 

Yeah crying can help sometimes I agree! I’m glad it helped you to feel a bit better Heart 

 

Thank you for the support @ecla34 I really appreciate it Heart

Re: Not coping

that makes sense @DruidChild Hugs I'm not quite sure how to help, but I hear you, and I hear how frustrating it is that it's the same old questions each contact.
The respite care sounds kinda cool actually! I'm sorry to hear that your family wouldn't be happy with you going there for a bit though. Are you kind of like the one in the family who everyone kind of relies on for something?

It is definitely hard when they are isolating themselves. It's normal t be worried about them! But please know that it's not your fault! I'm sorry your mother has that view, having experienced a friend being hospitalised for her mental health I can understand how it can be scary, and it's always hard when a family member is in hospital, especially when you are so close with them.
I'm sorry this is bringing up a lot of anxiety, insecurity and memories. Heart hugs

I want to check in that you're safe tonight?
I can hear that this is really exhausting for you Heart

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Not coping

I'm so sorry you're in this space @DruidChild. I do just want to touch base on your safety as some of the things you've said are really concerning. Do you feel you can stay safe right now?

 

It sounds like the respite place might be a good opportunity for you. Is it something that your therapist can talk to your family about? Perhaps together you can both resolve any concerns / feelings your family might have.  I feel like perhaps the hospital might be upsetting to your family as normally the hospital is a reactive space (i.e. you've had to go there because of an incident), which can be scary and concerning for them; whereas respite is more of a proactive space (i.e. somewhere you go to prevent yourself from reaching breaking point; and to receive the care, support and space you need to recover).

Re: Not coping

@Bee Thank you for all your kindness and understanding, it really helps! Heart Yep it sounds super helpful! But yeah my family a) relies on me for a lot, and b) get very upset when I’m not coping and I end up having to comfort them and ‘prove’ how I’m really okay. I just don’t have the energy for it. Thank you for listening Heart I hope both you and your friend are doing okay atm. 

 

@Erin-RO Thanks for checking in, I think I’ll be okay tonight. Planning on going to bed in ten minutes or so. And I do have the phone numbers etc of who I’m supposed to call if I stop being safe. 

Mm it sounds good but I’m not doing it. Too much drama and just before Christmas too. 

Re: Not coping

Thank you for confirming that you feel you can stay safe @DruidChild and have a plan for when you need it Heart It sounds like having to "prove" you're okay can be pretty exhausting for you. It's understandable you feel like you don't have the energy for it.

 

At least now you know there is that option for you and maybe for now just focus on finding out as much as possible about it, so you can be ready to float the idea to your family if you need to. Even in the new year

Re: Not coping

@DruidChild Heart hugs
I am in a similar position with my family, I am heavily relied on for various things; and it's really hard especially when I'm not coping myself. It can feel really overwhelming and difficult for me at times, what about you?
It sounds like you do more supporting of your family then them supporting you when you need it. IS this right?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Not coping

Is anyone around atm? 

 

 

Re: Not coping

hey @DruidChild

sorry i wasn’t around last night Smiley Sad would you still like to talk about what’s going on ? Heart

sending my love <333

Re: Not coping

All good @litgym no need to apologise- thanks for checking in. I just feel so hopeless and frustrated Smiley Sad I feel so awful all the time, it’s unbearable, and my anxiety’s been so high and everything just sucks and nobody seems to be able to do anything that helps even a little Smiley Sad Except ask if I need to be in hospital, which I would like to avoid at all costs. I feel so incredibly hopeless. 

Re: Not coping

yeah i can relate expect i don’t get the option of hospital ! @DruidChild what has helped you so far to get through the last 24 hours ? all these feelings can be so draining Smiley SadHeart