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Re: OCD is a b*tch

That sounds like such a positive approach @indieinsanus, way to go! I know it's not always easy to tell yourself that thoughts are just thoughts and get on with things, but I've found that the more I do this, the easier it gets, and as much as it is painful at the time to disengage from rumination, the progress feels amazing! I'll be thinking of you over Easter, I know I always find holidays and boredom difficult too. Are you doing anything fun for Easter? 

Re: OCD is a b*tch

@queenP  Hey, right now im regretting eating so much chocolate, but at the same time calculating how long until i can eat more. I had a kind of emotional Easter, but i also saw some of my extended family which was good. Overall it was a little messy, but still nice.

 

How was your Easter?

Re: OCD is a b*tch

@indieinsanus Sounds about the same as my Easter - I saw some extended family and ate wayyyy too much. Things have been a bit rough over the break, but I always feel better when I am surrounded by family. 

Re: OCD is a b*tch

@queenP  Yeh family always manages to calm me down too

 

Re: OCD is a b*tch

I was wondering, do any of you suffer from depersonalisation / derealisation ?

 

Re: OCD is a b*tch

@indieinsanus I think I do. I definitely experience disassociation of some kind. (sorry if I jumped in on the conversation. If I did, just ignore this)

Re: OCD is a b*tch

I'm not sure @indieinsanus, what exactly does this involve? 

 

No worries at all @Tiny_leaf, the more the merrier! Can I ask about your experience with depersonalisation? What does it feel like for you? It's not something I've ever considered before. 

Re: OCD is a b*tch

@Tiny_leaf  Please do join in, this form is for everyone. Dissociation sucks. If you dont mind sharing, do you ever feel like you are observing yourself as a separate being? like you are just so utterly aware of yourself that its disturbing ?

 

@queenP Depersonalisation and Derealisation ( DP / DR ) is quite hard to explain. Essentially it is a form of detachment and dissociation. It can be experienced in random short periods, for extended periods, or continuously. It is different for everyone, but usually it is feeling detached from your body and environment, and feeling emotionally detached. For derealisation it can be described as seeing the world through a pane of glass, or as though it is made of wax or is fake like a movie set. Things around you just don't feel real. There is almost a non solid, 2D feeling to things. It is feeling very separate and detached from your physical environment. Depersonalisation has more to do with your physical self. It makes you feel detached from your own body, sometimes specific parts of your body, for example your hand may feel as though it is not your own. Your reflection is also something alot of people struggle with, because although you are aware that the person in the mirror is you, you feel entirely detached from your reflection, almost as though you are staring at a stranger.

DP / DR can be described as feeling as though you are living in a dream, or having out of/ inner body experiences. Sufferers may feel as though they are going 'crazy', and may feel a need to remind themselves that they exist and that 'this is reality'.

In short, it is very complex and mainly consists of major detachment , mentally, physically and emotionally.

It can be a result of trauma, both major and repeated low level, mental health issues such as anxiety ( its really common to have detachment in anxiety), and it can also be a result of drug use.

Sufferers are not detached from reality, as more often than not, the most disturbing part of this experience is the utter awareness of these feelings, and the knowledge that you should not be feeling these things.

It is very hard to explain, it is a feeling unlike any other. 

I encourage people to research Depersonalisation and Derealisation to gain further knowledge and understanding on it. It is hard to describe and im aware that my description probably isnt very good. I know it doesnt cover the mulitude of minor symptoms and details that make up this issue / disorder, nor is it entirely accurate to the individuals experience.

This is just a glimpse of what it feels like. 

Re: OCD is a b*tch

@queenP I think I get more derealisation or maybe some weird loss of familiarity with everything...

 

TW for the below description of experiencing that:

For me I lose a sense of where I am, I feel disoriented and I'm not sure if anything's real, what reality is, and if reality's even a thing. I'll half-forget what room I'm walking into, and it feels more like I'm just drifting. When I'm like this I'll be freaked out by ceilings being flat, surprised that the sky is blue, and confused at why I can't move my hand through the wall.

I'll occasionally get more of a depersonalization thing, where everything feels real except me. My thoughts seem distant, I can't get to my memories. It's like I'm only what I see and hear around me, nothing else. Like I'm watching, but not actually being anything.

Re: OCD is a b*tch

@Tiny_leaf  I get that feeling of just nothing. Like i feel like i am the embodiment of nothing. 

i just made a thread about DP / DR i encourage you and anyone else interested to go check it out

and maybe share your experiences. Im not sure how to link it in, so just look up depersonalisation and derealisation, its in getting help -> tough times