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Re: OCD is a b*tch

@Hozzles It must feel like such a relief to have identified what it was holding you back from completing assignments and causing you so much anxiety! Really good to hear that you have found strategies that work for you in combatting this now. ARCVIC is an organisation that specialises in different anxiety disorders including OCD. They have some good information on their website that could be helpful for you or anyone suffering with OCD. They also have a free helpline you can call and hold support groups across Victoria. You also don't have to be in Victoria to call them Smiley Happy Their helpline number is 1300 269 438  and their website is https://www.arcvic.org.au/.

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Re: OCD is a b*tch

Might just resurrect this thread because it's always been one of my favourites, and I hope everyone that's posted here is doing good! ❤

I'm just struggling a bit at the moment, to be honest. My current compulsion is that I have to 'fully understand' every piece of media I consume. e.g. I can't watch a movie/ read a book without going back every few seconds to read/ listen to the last sentence and make sure I fully understood everything. It takes hours to watch a 30 minute show and most of the time I just give up because it's so exhausting. But it's holiday season and I really have nothing else to do but read/ watch a movie/ TV... 😢. I especially miss reading so much! It's really frustrating me.

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Re: OCD is a b*tch

@Hozzles that sounds super frustrating. Sometimes I need to go back a page when reading because I didn't actually process the words but having to do that all the time would be exhausting for sure.

Maybe you can take up a hobby, either one you already do or a new one to keep you busy?
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Re: OCD is a b*tch

@Hozzles That sounds tiring, i hope you're doing okay. Maybe you can try to divert away from media for a bit to give yourself a break ? Or just try to force yourself through the discomfort and not reread something, I know its hard, but forcing myself to be uncomfortable with my thoughts or not doing compulsions is what helped me get through them eventually.

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Re: OCD is a b*tch

Hi to everyone and anyone reading this. It has been a little over a year ago since I started this thread, and I just wanted to say some things. When I first posted this thread, I was completely lost. Months before posting it, and months after posting it, I was lost. I was a mess of things that I couldn't recognise as a lot of anxiety, obsessional thinking, depression, loneliness and some deep-rooted low-level trauma. Honestly, posting this thread, and replying to posts on it was harder than I thought it would be at first; because it was difficult trying to help someone understand how to get through something, when you didn't understand yourself. It was difficult to say 'things will get better' because objectively I knew it was probably true, however at first, I couldn't even see myself getting better. I was sure for the longest time, that my life was somehow over, that I would always have intense brain fog, that my heart would always be palpitating and beating irregularly, always on the brink of an anxiety attack, that I would always be so thoroughly disturbed by my thoughts and what I thought to be true about myself because of them. I thought I was dropping off into a void of 'insanity', and there was nothing I could do about it but watch my slow descent into madness. I felt guilty for my family, for having to deal with me. I felt bad for making them upset, simply because I was upset, and they didn't understand what was wrong with me. There were times when I couldn't see a future for myself; a lot of days when I didn't want one. Truthfully, few things kept me holding on. This website and this community being one of them, and I am thankful for that. I want to say, that things do get better, eventually. And I know this to be true, because I have been dragged through hell by my mental health, and here I am, happy to be alive, finally. I'll admit it’s a bit of a strange feeling after so long of dealing with depression and anxiety and this deep lack of self-worth, but it’s a welcome one. After so many years of emotional and mental turmoil, the on and off with my mental health issues, and the thought in my mind that never truly left throughout it all ' I will not make it through this, I can’t, there's no way'. Well there is, and yes, I can. I have.

I still face feelings of anxiety and depression, and my mind still pulls me into thought spirals surrounding obsessions every so often, but they are more than manageable. The thing is, I don't want to die anymore. When I'm feeling anxious, I don't think I'm going 'insane' or losing my morality. I'm not afraid of my mind, and I understand myself better. I’m not denying the possibility of relapse, because I think it is important to acknowledge that recovery is not a clear and easy path; often one of the hardest parts of mental health, is recovery ; figuring out how to be okay, figuring out how to want to be okay. I used to think 'things will get better' was just a phrase thrown at me from people who didn't know what else to say, didn't understand what was wrong with me and didn't know how to help. But I understand now that it's not. It does get better eventually, and not even just okay, but good .I don't want to disregard the fact that mental health is not something that you just 'get over'. It takes time to feel even remotely okay, to even want to feel okay. And I understand that for a lot of people, mental health will always be a large factor in their lives. Mental health isn't simply a 'phase' nor is it something that hinders the overall quality or 'worth' of your life. It is simply a factor in your life, and through my individual experience it was extremely troubling and disturbing. So, my heart is always with those struggling with mental health.

People dealing with mental health have a lot of fight in them, and a lot of resilience; and I think that is something a lot of people don't recognise, including those struggling. Even for those who deal with depression, and low moods, and a lack of energy; there is so much strength in pulling through. For some of us, continuing to breathe is a feat on its own. So I am proud. If you are struggling, or have struggled, then I am so proud of you for making it this far. Mental health is hard, exhausting, confusing, frustrating, frightening and just so incredibly difficult sometimes. So please keep fighting. Try to take care of, and be kind to yourself. Have hope, and know that things do get better, maybe you're tired of hearing it, but it’s true; trust me, I know.

 

'If you're going through hell, keep going'

 

You are beautiful.

You are strong and resilient.

You are not worthless,

You are wonderful.

You matter.

 

Lifeline : 13 11 14

 

https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/

 

 

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Re: OCD is a b*tch

Thank you so, so much for sharing this honest and uplifting recount of your experience with mental health and recovery @indieinsanus Heart It's people like yourself, being brave and vulnerable, that helps other to know that things get better. 

 

I personally really related to the part where you mentioned feeling like people just say that things get better. It's scary not knowing if things will actually improve. I think what you have written here will give so many people hope that recovery is possible Heart 

 

I think this is really powerful: 

 

People dealing with mental health have a lot of fight in them, and a lot of resilience; and I think that is something a lot of people don't recognise, including those struggling.

 

Thanks again for updating us on how you're going at the moment and sharing your words of wisdom.