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Past posts from helping out another user

This will be my last post for good after this has been talked through, but if any of the managers are free, I just want to say sorry about some of my posts to another user because when I told a staff member about some of the things he said that shocked me, it was when she said “For now let’s leave this one, as we have spoken to [username removed] and he’s doing really good work getting on top of it”, which made me feel like (and don’t say I don’t need to feel like this, because it’s been worrying me for a damn long time and we all have feelings), maybe if I hadn’t gotten involved, he would’ve had someone else on RO to lean on? And, yeah, I really just feel like that maybe if I kept my nose out of his business, RO staff (probably) wouldn’t have had to remind me about the situation with him, so even though it wasn’t anything bad or wrong I did, and my help to him was appreciated, I still just want to say a massive sorry about that night. I wasn’t upset, just a little shocked to see someone writing such nasty things. I should’ve just sent the damn email about it instead of bringing it up online, because that was one of her most helpful solutions. 

Re: Past posts from helping out another user

Hi @Matty D, thank you for reaching out about this. We are always here to offer support. Heart


I'm sorry that you feel like your actions were a barrier to another user seeking help. I don't see an issue with what you did - we have a responsibility to keep the entire community safe, and bringing those posts to the attention of staff is a very important part of doing that.


I do understand that you're struggling with this situation. A lot has happened in the community since those posts were made. What are some strategies you can use to help focus on the present moment a bit more? It's totally up to you, but personally I find the 5 things grounding game to be a helpful exercise when I'm worrying about situations in the past or the future. Heart


Just also giving you a quick heads up that I've edited some details out of your post, just to be on the safe side for the rest of the community (so they don't go looking for the posts). Rest assured that you didn't break any guidelines though. Smiley Happy

Re: Past posts from helping out another user

Well, I’m really sorry to say that I cannot always have my focus on the present, because, no offence, but I think what you don’t know is that it can actually help me more often than not once it’s been talked out - for me, if I don’t talk about the past/future, then it won’t help me, and I’ll only end up feeling all emotional, miserable, blue, broken-hearted and torn apart, 💔😭 because every single damn one of us as humans will always remember past times and reflect on/talk them over from time to time, and not to dismiss your advice/suggestions (tell me if I am or any of the managers/staff on here as I still remember that email I got from staff back in January last year about these kinds of things) but I really don’t find grounding to be helpful to me, because I’m just not that kind of human being. And even though you don’t see any problem with that, I personally still kind of do, because when she said “For now let’s leave this one,” etc, that’s why I feel like I probably  should’ve just kept my mouth shut, because, after all, it wasn’t even my bloody problem - it was his, and I reckon (in my entitled opinion) that it was kind of fair enough when she said that line, and this is also because I’m also anxious easily most times, but I still honestly think I still would’ve thought the same thing even if I wasn’t feeling like this. So, sorry, 🤷‍♂️ that’s just how things are for me.

Re: Past posts from helping out another user

Hello @Matty D, if talking it out is helpful for you, then we are happy to support that. Heart

I'm sorry if I misunderstood your post - it appears you have strategies in place to help you deal with this, so I'm happy to hear this.


We're here to listen. Heart

Re: Past posts from helping out another user

Yes, and although I know I didn’t break any of the guidelines, I’m still sorry for even mentioning those 2 names which I won’t repeat so I can make 100% sure this site stays anonymous and secret.


Re: Past posts from helping out another user

Hi @Matty D 


Thank you for sharing this with us and the community. It shows a lot of maturity to apologise and reflect on past experiences Heart