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People have been calling me gay but im not?."

Hello. So, recently I've heard people calling me gay mostly boys in my grade. I don't know why? I did nothing wrong to them but its spreading around. Today, someone asked me "'Hey are you gay?" I said no but his friends started shouting "YOURE GAY?!?" Later on my girl best friend told me that another boy who was 'popular' asked if I was gay and the boy that asked me earlier sits in a group with both of them. He asked her the same thing. Gladly, my best friend said "No, but he just acts FEMININE." I didn't understand that but I let it escape my thought. I'm really friendly and really just happy. Im friends with boys but i have more girl friends. I sit in a table with girls and boys. But, the popular boys keep saying im gay when im really not but they just wont listen and they dont know what's happening with me personally. I sometimes get abused by my brother (playfully abuse or a lightly slap). They don't have to put more problems. I've been failing math because of stress, and I promised my mom that I will get Honor Roll because she works so hard for my family. It's just me, my brother, and my mom. My dad works as an engineer in another country and my sisters moved away. I lived with 4 SISTERS. That's how i get along with girls more than boys. Im just overwhelmed when they ask me because they dont know my sexuality and it pisses me off. Sometimes, I ignore it but it keeps going over and over.

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Re: People have been calling me gay but im not?."

Hey @Aesthetics and welcome to RO

Unfortunately, a lot of people (especially young boys, I've noticed) still use 'gay' as an insult, rather than a sexuality. So any boy who acts feminine is deemed 'gay' based on perceived gender roles.

Brothers can be tough to deal with, but if the abuse gets worse, make sure to let your parents (if they don't already) know and your brother too, because he might stop if he knows if it bothers you.

It's definitely nothing you did. A lot of bullying doesn't have an exact reason behind it. They just pick someone, find something to tease, and do it. It might be worth telling them that no, you're not gay and that you would like them to stop, but if that doesn't work, then letting a teacher know about the situation.

Keep us updated. Smiley Happy
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Re: People have been calling me gay but im not?."

Hey @Aesthetics,

 

Fist of all, Welcome, wellcome, welcome!

 

Thanks for sharing with us, we are always here to listen and support.

 

I just wanted to check in and see how you are feeling about things today?

 

I agree with @N1ghtW1ng, the reason these boys are being bullies does not stem from anything that you have done. Dealing with there insults and immaturity can be tough, and that's why im so glad you have been able to speak about how you feel regarding this issue. Always continue to do this, and if it gets worse then it is best to speak to a teacher who can help.

 

It's important that you feel safe both at school and at home. Maybe you could speak to your brother about how his behaviour is affecting you. Remember, if you don't feel confident to do it alone, then its important you tell your mum. You have control on how you are treated, and no one deserves to be treated any less then the best.

 

 

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Re: People have been calling me gay but im not?."

Hey @Aesthetics, I just wanted to back up what the others were saying. Bullies behaviour stems from their own insecurities. Maybe they are jealous that you are so comfortable with who you are and wish they had female friends of their own! Besides, it's 2015. Being gay isn't even an insult.

 

I notice that you're from the US, but you've actually stumbled across the Australian ReachOut. I'd love to direct you to some support services but unfortunately I don't know of any in your area. You might want to copy your post onto the American forum, which you can find here.

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Re: People have been calling me gay but im not?."

I also get called gay everyday by most of the boys in my grade but they don’t know what I go through I have a dad that only talks bad about me or makes threats. I was raised around girls so they judge me because I’m happy kind and friendly so they just judge and judge me sometimes I think about committing suicide because their words hurts I have been called gay since grade 6 and I’m in grade 10 now. But I would just like them to stop because that hurts I’m not gay and will not be gay.

 

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Re: People have been calling me gay but im not?."

that's really tough @pdosp0, and it's really unfair that people are trying to bully you with a sexuality that you don't identify with. Especially when there is nothing wrong or shameful about identifying as queer/LGBT+. Have you been able to talk to any adults about what's been going on?

I'm also a bit concerned when you say that you're having suicidal thoughts. I imagine that would be incredibly scary and stressful for you to be thinking those sorts of things. I was wondering if you've ever tried contacting a service like KidsHelpLine or eHeadspace? they're a pretty good resource where you can talk with professional counsellors about how you're feeling and what you're going through. They also both have instant messaging features, where you can just do online chat instead of calling if you prefer Smiley Happy Before I log off, I just wanted to check if you were safe right now? Heart


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Re: People have been calling me gay but im not

Yes I am safe I was just sleeping because I was tired but I will give
KidsHelpLine a call and I will stop with the suicidal thoughts I shouldn’t
remove my life just because they are calling me gay thank you for checking
on me
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Re: People have been calling me gay but im not?."

Yes I’m safe I will give KidsHelpLine a call and I will stop with the suicidal thoughts I won’t remove my life just because they are calling me gay but thank you for checking on me. I was asleep before that’s why I didn’t reply

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Re: People have been calling me gay but im not?."

Hey @pdosp0 just wanted to check in and see how you're going today and how your Kids Helpline call went? Hope you managed to have a good sleep last night Smiley Happy

 

I'm sorry you're going through this really horrible time, it sounds like you're in a really tough position and I'm glad you felt comfortable to talk about what's going on for you here. Bullying is never ok and we're here to support you. Would you feel comfortable telling us a bit more about what is going on with your dad?

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Re: People have been calling me gay but im not?."

Hi @pdosp0 , I hope you're doing alright. A few people have spoken about similar experiences, and their thought on them in this thread - you're welcome to head on over there too if you'd like Smiley Happy