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Possible TW - binge eating and body image

Hi, i've never used this website before to get help so i don't even know if anyone's gonna see this or reply lol. 

anyway i have developed a binge eating problem, i guess, that's been happening every night for about 3 to 4 weeks now, i stopped for one day yesterday and i did it again today just then. i turned 15 a few months ago before the first lockdown for corona in march, since then i've been starting to get in the habit of working out and eating 'healthy' everyday. i never really cared much about my weight before all this, i didn't keep track of what i eat in a day and i barely weighed myself, i didn't care about how full my stomach gets after eating all the brownies and cookies i made with my friends. i didn't even know how calories worked. but not long after lockdown has started i've become obsessed with counting calories. i used to be able to feel satisfied and genuinely happy after eating something i really wanted, now eating just feels like a coping mechanism to stop myself from feeling stressed or sad. 

most of the times i try to eat 'healthy' foods that are rated with a grinning face on the Lifesum app, if you know what i'm talking about. but as soon as i eat something that's 'bad' or 'unealthy' i automatically think that i've fucked up my day of clean eating already, even if it's just one freddo frog. and i start allowing myself to eat more and more junk food and always tell myself that starting from tomorrow i'm gonna eat the least food possible, but it never happens and the binge just repeats day after day. i've gained so much weight in the recent weeks and i can't even fit into my jeans anymore, but i still cant stop binging. even my mum has been telling me that i've gained too much weight. sometimes i just look at myself in the mirror and start crying because i hate the way my body looks so much but i feel so out of control. i'm scared to talk to people i know about this because i feel so ashamed about this because i'm always the one that makes people laugh. i can't even talk to my own mum about this because she always gets mad at me for not eating the food she cooks and later on i make waffles and pancakes and binge on those, even after i've told her i feel like i can't control myself from binge eating. 

please let me know if you have the same problem or if you have any tips on how to stop binge eating, i would really appreciate it. Smiley Happy

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Re: Possible TW - binge eating and body image

Hey @iwantkrispykremedonuts glad you've found our forum and felt comfortable to share what's been going on for you. I have edited your post a tiny bit to keep in line with our community guidelines which you can have a look at here.

It sounds like this is a really tough time at the moment and its great that you've reached out for help here, we are here to support you Heart

I'm sorry that your mum is not being supportive of what you're going through, I'm wondering if you have tried any other supports? We have an article on our website here about binge eating which suggests it can be helpful to speak to a GP about what's going on, do you feel like this could be something you could try?

You also said in your post that eating is a coping mechanism for when you feel stressed out or sad, are there other things you like to do when you feel this way? (i.e. having a bath, journalling, listening to music)

I'm so sorry to hear you say you hate the way your body looks, we recently had a discussion on the forum about Body Image, where forum users discussed their relationships with their bodies and celebrating bodies for the awesome things they can do. 

I also just want to mention the Butterfly Foundation does have a helpline, and an online chat service that could be helpful, their website has some great resources too, more info here

Hope you find some of this helpful @iwantkrispykremedonuts, and welcome to the forum it's great to have you here. 

 

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Re: Possible TW - binge eating and body image

Hi @iwantkrispykremedonuts 

 

It sounds a bit like you're going between extremes of eating very little "healthy" food and then a lot of "unhealthy" food.

That sounds really confusing and uncomfortable, especially if it feels like you can't control it.

 

What happens for some people, is that when they try to restrict thier food intake, thier body sort of panics and goes into starvation mode, especially if they're restricting types of food that they need.

So some people find that when they allow themselves to eat when they'd normally restrict, they don't feel the need to binge as much.

It basically lets you reduce one of the extremes in the hope that the other extreme will also level out.

Do you think something like that might help?

 

Also, @Hannah-RO may have linked it already but just in case, the Butterfly Foundation can help people who are struggling with eating, food or body image, and they can help find you more resources or professional support.

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Re: Possible TW - binge eating and body image

Hey @iwantkrispykremedonuts 

 

I just wanted to hop and ask how you are going since you posted this?

A lot that you have discussed sounds like it would be quite hard to deal with and so I am proud of you for recognising that you might want some help early on and I want to remind you that is nothing to feel ashamed of. Binge eating is actually a lot more common than you might think and I hope this makes you feel less alone in this process. I am in my early 20s and I spent years thinking there was something wrong with me before I learnt that it is actually just a normal reaction from our bodies when we try to restrict ourselves from eating certain things. When we tell ourselves something is bad or we can't have it, our brain wants it even more! It's frustrating right?

Something that has helped me overcome this is to give myself permission to eat "junk" food whenever I want it, because I realised I actually don't want it as much as I think I do. I know you might think you're the exception to the rule (I know I thought this about myself) but I looked a lot into intuitive eating which is a concept about listening to your body's needs and nourishing it in a way that makes it feel good. So most of the time eating the foods that you say you eat when you are eating "healthy" like whole foods such as veggies, fruits, wholegrains etc will actually probably make you feel good. Other times eating a few pieces of chocolate or some ice cream or chips will actually make you feel good. It will satisfy a craving instead of pushing it away and leading you to eat everything in sight at the end of the day which actually makes you feel physically over full or have an upset tummy. I also am trying to remove labelling foods as bad or good. All foods are good. All foods help us survive. When we remove this moral association from food we can realise that all types of food have their time and place and that is dependent on what our body needs across these difference times and place.

Maybe these concepts are something you could look into? Feel free to ask me to explain something a bit more if you're interested or if you want to know a bit more about some tips are body image rather than the eating aspect of what you're struggling with.

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Re: Possible TW - binge eating and body image

Hi, thank you so much. I am so sorry I should’ve checked the guidelines before i posted! Also sorry I haven’t checked this forum in so long, I always get anxious to read feedbacks I get from anything lol

anyways thank you so much for the reply, i have been doing better after i posted but now i’m getting back to my old habits 😅 which is why i remembered to check the forum. anyways i can’t be grateful enough to have discovered a platform like this Smiley Happy

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Re: Possible TW - binge eating and body image

 
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Re: Possible TW - binge eating and body image

Hey @iwantkrispykremedonuts it's really nice to hear from you again Smiley Happy 

It's truly amazing that you recognised that you were getting back to old habits and decided to come on here and look out for your wellbeing. Habits can be super hard to break but how we recognise them and deal with things after is what is really important, so go you for taking that step! 

Also so lovely to hear that the forum is a place you feel you can turn to. Are you getting up to much this weekend?