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Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hey @Bananatime04 


I'm sorry to hear what's going on. It sounds like you almost feel trapped. You want to break up with your boyfriend but feel you can't in case he hurts himself. It's a really tough situation to be in. 


I'm glad to hear that you're safe though. You are being really strong throughout all of this.


I'm wondering - do your bf's parents know about his self-harm? Also, do you know if the school counselor is aware?  

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Well he’s basically threatened me with him committing suicide if I leave him without knowing it..
no he only just done it last night for the first time and it didn’t look very good when he sent the photo 😣
Well last week I actually went to my year level coordinator asking if they could make an appointment for him because I know he wouldn’t do it and I was kinda worried about him so fingers crossed he goes

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

@Bananatime04 that is a lot for anyone to deal with, let alone a young person going through their own struggles at the moment. I'm sorry you have that added stress. 


It is great you told your year level coordinator that you are worried about him. Hopefully they organise an appointment.


Do you think you'd consider telling someone that he harmed himself? Such as your year level coordinator, or your school counselor, or his parents?


Also, I just changed two words in your last post. 

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

I’m finding it so hard to deal with all this 😩
I’m certainly not doing a good job

I’m pretty sure he got an appointment for this week I think on Tuesday..

I also have an appointment with the school counsellor this week so I’m going to talk about this
Sorry for breaking the guidelines 😔

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

I just had a chat with my step mum and she was really supportive Smiley Happy I feel a bit better now

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Of course. It's not easy. We're here for you Heart


You've done all the right things. You are helping him get help and supporting him. You are actually even putting his needs above your own right now. That shows how kind, compassionate and caring you are.


You do need to eventually do what is right for you though, whether it means to stop dating him or not. Of course, only when you feel ready though. Perhaps once he is receiving professional  support you might feel more comfortable doing so? Just see how you feel over the next few weeks and don't put too much pressure on yourself. I'd encourage you to talk to your counselor about how you no longer want to be with him. They might help you in terms of how to best navigate the situation -  e.g., how to break up with him in a way that is least hurtful to both him and yourself. 


On a side note, what are your plans for tomorrow?



Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Thank you so much @Maddy-RO <3
I’d put anyone before myself for anything

That’s what me and my friend have been talking about.. once he is more stable and after he’s had a couple appointments with the school counsellor then I’ll try do it in the least hurtful way possible. I am yet to find out how but hopefully by reaching out for help, I can get some helpful advice on how to break it to him but also keeping him safe is something I still have in my head.. I literally can’t get that image of his injury out of my head
It was horrible
Tomorrow I’m heading home at lunch time to have lunch with my pop and family Smiley Happy what do you have planned for tomorrow?

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hey @Bananatime04 Smiley Happy

It sounds like you're putting a lot of thought into how to handle this situation carefully and that you have some sort of plan, which is great. I really hope the counsellor gives you some good advice when you get to see them.

Glad to hear you have some plans to spend time with family today. Let us know how you're feeling and how it goes Smiley Happy


Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Thanks @JanaG 💗
Idk what I’ll actually end up doing.. I’m really scared to break up with him because of what he says. I don’t want to live with that guilt if he does end his life Smiley Sad I’d rather be unhappy for the rest of my life if it means I’m keeping someone from doing that.

I just had lunch with my pop, brothers and parents Smiley Happy I haven’t seen my pop in ages! He’s staying here for a week but on Wednesday he has to go to hospital
What’re you doing today?

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hey @Bananatime04, I just want to congratulate you on reaching out to your step-mum. It's a huge step to talk to someone in your life about your stress, so I hope you are proud of yourself, I know I am!


I can completely understand that you'd feel guilty for putting yourself above someone else by breaking up with him. Break ups are always terrible, let alone with the added pressure of this situation. I know that this won't ease the difficulty, but when my Mum was feeling quite responsible for someone else's dangerous actions, my Dad said something very important that changed her perspective on things - "If there was anything you could say or do to stop her from being in danger, you would have done it by now. It's out of your hands". As much as you feel responsible for your boyfriend's safety, the only real person that has the capacity to choose whether someone stays safe or not is the individual themselves. His actions are his alone, as much as you feel responsible, so please be as kind to yourself as you can. You are a good person - I can see that from the way that you care so deeply about his wellbeing - so don't forget it xx