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Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

@Maddy-RO I need help

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hey @Bananatime04 

 

What's going on for you?

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Maddy it’s all too much and I just can’t do it 😰

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hey @Bananatime04 

 

Thanks for reaching out. We're here for you. What do you mean? Could you elaborate? Do you mean your homework or life or? 

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

I mean life.. there’s so much that I have to do and I just feel like I don’t have time to actually do things now and I just don’t even see a point. I mean I feel like there isn’t any choices now and that what I do is decided by other people and I feel really trapped
I’m not really sure how to put this in words so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense to you

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hey @Bananatime04 

 

I understand what you mean. Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed. I guess the important thing in this moment is to be self-compassionate. From what I can tell by your posts on the forums recently, is that you are going through a lot at the moment, and struggling with your mental health. Therefore, it's pretty normal that other aspects of your life are being impacted such as your ability to keep up. What you have to do is be kind to yourself in this moment. Tell yourself "bananatime, it's okay if you're falling a little behind, you're going through a lot at the moment" or "bananatime, it's okay, don't beat yourself up about it, things will fall into place soon." If you need a little extra time with things then speak to your teacher/ parents/ school counselor and they should be able to help you. At the moment though, the most important thing is your health. So you need to focus on keeping yourself healthy, and some ways to do that are 1) be self-compassionate, and 2) speak to others and get the help you need. Can you do that for me? How does that sound?

 

If you are feeling overwhelmed it might be a good idea to take a 5 minute break from whatever is stressing you and do some deep breathing, pat your dog, and tell your self everything is going to be ok. 

 

Are you safe at the moment? 

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Thank you so much @Maddy-RO ❤️
Just feel like things are not going my way and I’m controlled by.. idk not me.
I can ask to see the school counsellor tomorrow but I’ll miss so much out of one class and it’s so hard because I have no idea what’s going on. I cannot talk to my parents about any of it because I’m not open with them and my mum currently hates me.. well I think. My teachers would just tell me I’m in year 9 and I should be able to keep up with all of it and then if I have more time to do it I’ll have two things due for the same subject at once so my situation is not great for me. I’m not a very strong person so I can’t stay positive in any of it either.
But it’s more than just school work.. my parents expect me to do all this other stuff as well but they don’t understand how much work I have to get done in such little time. Especially when I feel like shit it just makes it so much worse.
I have no free time anymore and if I do I use it on the forums. Right now I have something overdue but I cannot do it. It’s stressing me out so much and I really hate it because it’s triggering me so bad. Like my thoughts were so strong last time I smashed a bit out of it. That was hard..
also I have no confidence and am very negative towards myself which means I will struggle with the self talk.. I’ll try get help next time I have time
I’m gonna do a meditation thing focusing on breathing. Thanks

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

My pleasure @Bananatime04.  You are very much valued here on the forums. I'm always happy to help where I can. Of course - due to the nature of the interaction (i.e., online forum) there is only so much I can do, hence why we refer you to places like KHL for extra support. The more support the better Smiley HappyHeart

 

I 100% understand why you are feeling stressed. When one is struggling mentally, they can often feel exhausted from just "fighting" their negative thoughts, let alone having to deal with all other aspects of life. Hence, making it hard to keep up with "usual" things.  I don't want to make this about myself but I thought this story might be relevant to you:

 

Last year I had a very hard year. I was doing my 4th year in Psych (super important year) and a very close family member was very sick. Anyway, I spoke to the university and they managed to accommodate my circumstances due to the stress I was under. I got an extension on a few things which helped a lot. It was hard to reach out for help. At the time I felt I was even undeserving of help! Now that I look back though, it was the most fair decision I could have made for myself at the time. I'm glad I was kind to myself and got the help I needed. I also told friends and family about how busy/stressed I was, so they understood when I wasn't as available or as helpful around the house as usual.

 

Anyway, the point of my story is that sometimes you have to tell other's whats going on to get the help that you need, and so that they understand why you may be falling behind, or helping less, or seeing them less, or whatever it may be! Of course - it is totally up to you what you do. I don't know the people in your life so I can't tell you what is right for you. However, I thought a story like that might be helpful in some way. I hope it does help! 

 

I have to log off soon. However, I trust that you can look after yourself tonight. I personally think that you are doing really well even trying to keep up with everything considering all that you are going through at the moment. It's also really great that you are posting on here about how you're feeling. If you feel worse tonight, please contact KHL. Be strong Heart All of us here on ReachOut believe that you can get through this! Heart

 

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hi @Bananatime04, I'm sorry you've been feeling so bad tonight...

I'm not really sure what I can do to help...

There is a chance I'll be able to help with an assignment depending on what it is, or even planning out some ways to get started?

Year 9 was about when my mental health started going downhill, but in year 10 I picked up a few ways to get assignments done quick-ish and without too much stress, if you want to hear some. 

Re: TW- what’s holding me back from suicide?

Hey @Bananatime04. Sorry for not being here tonight... I've been a bit off as well.
But I'll check in tomorrow morning, okay?
Please try to stay safe. Hugs Smiley Happy