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Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hi 

I have suffered from OCD and anxiety for 3 years now, last year I also had anorexia. I have never been diagnosed because I am only 13 and my family does not really understand it. I f there is anyone else out there who is in the same position as me or has been through this already I would really love it if you could reply and tell me how you got through this or if you haven't got through it yet just tell me how you're feeling and we can work through this together. I have really felt alone because of this for a long time and some days my panic attacks are so bad they last for almost 3 hours. If I told you everything we would be here for weeks. I have only ever told one person because there is so much stigma about OCD and other mental health disorders the people in my class always make jokes about depression and OCD I feel really scared about what would happen if I told the wrong person.

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hi @Pariscat16. It's really brave of you to reach out, and I hope you'll be able to find some support and care here. I'm really sorry for the stigma you've experienced around your mental health stuff - it's not okay for people to make you afraid or ashamed of being open about your struggles. 

 

I'm sorry to hear that your panic attacks are so bad - that really sucks. I still haven't found a reliable way of stopping panic attacks, but I'm getting better at taking care of myself through them. Things like going somewhere quiet, listening to soothing music, consciously slowing down your breathing, can all help. This is a really tiny thing, but staying hydrated during and afterwards can actually make you feel less exhausted and drained afterwards.

I also find it helpful to take note of what triggers my panic attacks - and then being able to find other ways of coping with those triggers, or of heading off the panic before it sets in. For example, I have panic attacks if I'm running late, so if I'm going out to meet someone I make sure I have their contact details. That way, if I'm running late, I can let them know and it won't be as stressful. 

 

OCD...oh man, OCD is horrible. I've had obsessions compulsions since I was about 8, luckily they're pretty okay at the moment but I completely empathise with how horrible it feels. I also find that OCD is very very stigmatised...I find it really hard to talk about, especially some of the darker intrusive thoughts that I have. Would you like to share more about your experiences? 

 

Here for you xx

 

 

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Thank you very much, most of my anxiety and OCD come from my extreme phobia of throwing up. Even just writing the word puts me on edge other factors are social situation I tend to avoid friendships because of this I only have one friend at school (sometimes I find I am one of those people that like being alone and does not like working in groups) and I always feel as if people are judging me and I find myself crying a lot at school almost every day when I get something wrong it makes me feel so ashamed. Last year I also had anorexia and I feel it coming back the only problem with it is that even though I can recognise the symptoms anorexia is one of those mental illnesses where you are happy with it even though you are slowly killing your self. I have done self-harm in the past and sometimes I find when I am anxious I get voices in my head. It is really hard to explain but it is like a woman's voice telling me things and laughing.

There is so much I do because of OCD and so many things I won't let my self do, I won't go into all the detail because otherwise, this would be too long.  

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hey @Pariscat16

 

Well done for reaching out. Sounds like you are having a rough time, but don't worry if you think it would be too long. If you really want to talk about it, we are here to listen Smiley Happy

 

 

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Wow @Pariscat16 it really sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now! Feel free to talk as much as you like, we're here to listen however long your post is! 

 

I know you said in your other thread that you haven't seen a GP yet...I was wondering if there's a school counsellor or nurse who you could talk to? 

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

There is a school well-being coordinator that I might be going to see next term but even though she does have the qualifications she is not actually a psychologist. I will probably tell her all this stuff. my mum says she doesn't think I need to see a psychologist but I don't think she knows how bad everything is. I'm going to tell the well-being coordinator this so hopefully, she can tell my mum that I should see someone like the GP.

 

I am going to tell you about all the stuff that's been going on bit by bit and right from the beginning.

It all started when I was 10. My mum and brother got gastro coming back from a holiday we had been on luckily I didn't get it but I remember being really scared that I would. I'm not sure how long after it was that this happened or the exact day but one day I remember thinking if I do all these things then I will never throw up again. I became extremely fearful of germs and anything to do with throwing up. For example one of the things I started doing was before I left my room I had to touch the bottom right-hand corner of my bedside table 4 times in 4 sets with the bottom right heel of my foot and there was a similar thing for when I shut my wardrobe. One time I cried so much because I had been doing it for five minutes and I still wasn't happy my mum walked by and asked if I was ok but I just said yes. I don't remember all the things I did because it was a long time ago now. I used to get extreme panic attacks every time someone got sick, I was scared I would get sick too. At the time I did not know this was OCD and anxiety I felt very alone.   

The next year was grade 6 but I will tell you more about that later.   

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

There is a school well-being coordinator that I might be going to see next term but even though she does have the qualifications she is not actually a psychologist. I will probably tell her all this stuff. my mum says she doesn't think I need to see a psychologist but I don't think she knows how bad everything is. I'm going to tell the well-being coordinator this so hopefully, she can tell my mum that I should see someone like the GP.I am going to tell you about all the stuff that's been going on bit by bit and right from the beginning.

 

It all started when I was 10. My mum and brother got gastro coming back from a holiday we had been on luckily I didn't get it but I remember being really scared that I would. I'm not sure how long after it was that this happened or the exact day but one day I remember thinking if I do all these things then I will never throw up again. I became extremely fearful of germs and anything to do with throwing up. For example one of the things I started doing was before I left my room I had to touch the bottom right-hand corner of my bedside table 4 times in 4 sets with the bottom right heel of my foot and there was a similar thing for when I shut my wardrobe. One time I cried so much because I had been doing it for five minutes and I still wasn't happy my mum walked by and asked if I was ok but I just said yes. I don't remember all the things I did because it was a long time ago now. I used to get extreme panic attacks every time someone got sick, I was scared I would get sick too. At the time I did not know this was OCD and anxiety I felt very alone.   

The next year was grade 6 but I will tell you more about that later.   

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

I think it's awesome that you're taking the initiative to see the school wellbeing coordinator! Good on you. I hope that she's understanding and helpful. 

 

I bet you know about this service already, but Kids Helpline is really good - you can webchat here or call 1800 55 1800. They can chat to you and they also provide some ongoing counselling and support. 

 

Thank you for sharing some of your story with us. I'm sorry that things were so tough for you at such a young age - I recognise the anxiety and frustration of those OCD rituals; it's awful. 

 

You are not alone @Pariscat16. We're here if you want to chat more about this stuff or about Grade 6. Heart

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Grade 6 was when I had anorexia. The summer before I started thinking that I was fat and that I needed to lose weight. I started restricting my food intake and it got worse throughout the year. I hated primary school anyway but last year I hated it even more. I would cry everyday sometimes for no reason and I felt very down about my self and had an extremely low self-esteem. I hated eating with other people and I had many different tricks to get really thin. I cut out anything that was even the slightest bit fattening. I would only eat three small meals and most of the time I would spit my breakfast out when nobody was looking.  I weighed 30Kg at 157 cm. Most days I just wanted to die. Nobody at school ever noticed because I wore lots of clothing layers from being cold all the time. I would get so cold at school that I came up with a new idea which was every lunch and break time I would sit under the hand dryer in the bathroom to keep warm everybody who went in looked at me but I didn't care because I was so cold. One day I was sitting on the heater at home and I got so overheated that when I stood up I fainted. There was a day when the teachers called my mum because they were worried about me and my mum also spoke to the school psychologist but she asked if I wanted to see her but my mum said no, I think she said this because she knew that I wouldn't like it and my mum wanted to try deal with it herself. At the time I would not have wanted to see the psychologist but now I feel that nobody will listen and see that I need help. I have got a lot better but even now I still live with an anorexic mindset and I think it will stay with me for the rest of my life, I still think that I am too fat even though people tell me that I am skinny I still try to go on diets and I am always trying to find weight loss ideas. The OCD and anxiety were still with me that year so it made things really hard. I don't have time to say anything more but soon I will tell you about this year. I am trying to do everything bit by bit.    

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hey @Pariscat16,

 

Like @DruidChild said, thank you so much for sharing your story so far with us! That's an incredibly brave thing to do. We're here for you and we can try and help you through it Smiley Happy

 

What do you think about the suggestion on giving Kids Helpline a call? Would that be something you might be willing to try?