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Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hey @Pariscat16

 

I'm just seconding @Ben-RO's comment, although it's debatable whether you can 'cure' things like personality disorders, you can definitely recover from them and live a really good life with well managed symptoms and a lot of happiness. Lots of people recover from personality disorders; in fact, that's why a woman with bpd called Marsha Lineman designed an entire new form of behavioural therapy, to help people with pds recover. 

 

Doing stuff to distract your mind, like walking, is a great idea! How would you feel about maybe making a list of those things that distract you, that you could look back at when you feel really low or feel like self harming? 

It's great to hear about the things you're looking forward to. What country would you like to move to some day? Do you have a dream job? 

I understand how tough things can get sometimes, though. I find that remembering that these hopeless feelings won't last forever, and there will be things that will make me feel happy again, helps a lot during those times. 

 

That doesn't seem strange at all; in fact, it makes a lot of sense. I understand how frightening it must be to think of going back to a time when the things you're afraid of happen. One important thing that I learned about my anxiety was that anxiety doesn't keep me safe. When our anxiety tells us that if we do certain things to stop our fears from coming true, it teaches us that our anxiety is what is keeping us safe. That's not true. We can't stop something from happening by worrying about it, but equally, we can't make that thing happen by not being anxious. Recovering from OCD won't mean making your fears come true, it will just mean being less afraid of them. If that makes any sense whatsoever Smiley Tongue

 

The idea of moving sounds really frightening and overwhelming for you Smiley Sad Do you think it's possible for you to talk to your mum (or maybe write her a letter or email) about how hard it would be for you to move so far away and switch schools? 

 

Heart

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Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hi, @DruidChild,

Sorry, I haven't replied sooner but the internet at my house is being really slow so I haven't had a chance to write this till now. 

Yeah, I do get that most mental disorders can't really be fully cured, I guess once you have one it never fully goes away. Sometimes I feel really hopeless that I will probably never feel as if I have really got what I need to make my self-feel as if I can tell other people about everything that has been going on.  

I really want to somehow help raise awareness for world mental health day but I am so scared that people I know will see it I don't want people at school being rude to me about it or stigmatizing mental health. What do you think I could do? I really want to do something but I'm just too scared. Sometimes I wonder if it is better to just do something and people are mean about it or whether I should not do anything. what do you think? 

There are so many really mean girls in my year level at school and if I was being honest I don't actually have friends that I can fully trust and count on. Even though I have one friend who I have told she is not very stable herself and if something goes wrong she totally flips out on you and tells everybody your secrets so I am really scared if we ended up not being friends anymore everyone would find out my secrets. 

 

Sometimes I wish I had the courage and bravery to just go and talk to someone about all this stuff that has been going on in my life but I would need someone to go with me or tell everything for me but I have no one to do that for me whenever I see someone at the school who I know is there to help people like me or anyone who is just having a sad day I tense up and get really anxoius I don't know why I mean really I should feel the opposite around them. I think it is just the thought that I know they would be there for me but I just can't do it.

 

I do like the Idea of making the list of things that distract me I think I will try that.

 

I would really like to move to Dordogne in France, I know how to speak French because my high school is a bilingual French high school and I have done French for seven years before now. I would love to have a beautiful French chateau. I really want to be a cat breeder and a forensic scientist and I want to sell really nice baking as a side job. Some other jobs I would like is modeling, Home decor or something where I could flip houses or a real estate agent. I really want to do lots of traveling in Europe and America.

 

One thing I will mention is that I find myself liking it when I get hurt physically, for example, the other day I fell out of a tree trying to help a cat, I really hurt my arm but I get this feeling of pleasure. I'm not really too sure why this is, maybe for attention because I feel that I don't know someone at home I could talk to about everything or maybe it is to do with being suicidal. What do you think.

 

I will try talking to my mum again.

 

Thanks @DruidChild, for staying for so long and helping me you have been a really big help. Smiley Happy

 

 

 

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hey @Pariscat16, I hope you don't mind me jumping in here, even though I'm not @DruidChild  Smiley Happy

It's great that you want to raise awareness about mental health - what a thoughtful ambition! I get that it can be a bit scary. Do you think you could talk to one of the teachers about having a fundraising event at school, or even putting up posters or hand-outs about mental health that people could take if they want to?

Or possibly getting a representative from somewhere like headspace to give a talk at your school? If you speak with a teacher and they organise it, then the attention wouldn't really be on you. Does that make sense?  

 

Did you end up making that list of things that distract you? I hope it helped!

When we are physically hurt, we get a rush of adrenaline through our body, so that could explain what you were feeling.

 

How has the weekend been going for you? 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hi, @letitgo,

That sounds like a good idea there is a school nurse and a well-being coordinator that I could talk to. How could I get someone from headspace to come to my school? or do you know how I might be able to contact them? 

Also, do you have any tips on how I can get the confidence to talk to someone because I really would want to but I would feel so nervous? 

Yes, I did make the list, I think it will be really helpful.   

The weekend was good I went to the beach and I also had dance comps and my group came 4th out of 6 groups.    

 

 

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

@DruidChild what do you think aswell?

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hey @Pariscat16

 

Some great insights from @letitgo there Smiley Happy Thanks for jumping in! I'm so sorry for taking so long to get back to you Pariscat16. I haven't been doing so well myself. 

 

I'm super impressed with you for making that list!! That's an awesome bit of self care; I hope it will help you out. I'm glad your weekend went well - beach + dancing sounds lovely! Smiley Happy 

 

It's so kind and thoughtful of you to want to raise awareness about mental health - I agree with @letitgo that chatting with a teacher would be a great place to start. You don't even have to tell them how mental health affects you, just that it's something you're interested in. If you want to get in contact with headspace, I'd recommend finding your closest centre through their website - https://www.headspace.org.au - and giving their phone number a ring. 

 

It can be so hard to talk to someone about what's been happening for you. The first time I made an appointment with a headspace centre, I was so scared that I called up the day before and pretended to be my mother and cancelled the appointment! Even now it can be confronting to find the words to talk about this stuff. 

Some things that work for me are writing a list beforehand; it's a good way to organise my thoughts and looking at it helps me in the session. You could also try showing the person some art or creative writing that you've done about how you've been feeling, I often use comics that I've drawn to kick off a convo with my counsellor. 

Take slow deep breaths, and remember that the other person is not there to judge you. They want to support you and listen to you. 

 

Whoa Dordogne is beautiful!! And those ambitions are stellar. I look forward to the day you post a message here from France talking about your cats ^__^ Do you watch many house decor shows? There are some really nice ones out there. 

 

Hmm I think @letitgo made a really good point, that when we get hurt our brain releases chemicals that make us feel good so we can cope with the pain, so that could be part of why. It could also be that because people don't often notice when you're struggling, having a physical indicator to show people and receive support for is a nice change. It's totally okay to want and need attention; but you do not need to hurt yourself to get it. Heart

 

You're very welcome. Even though it takes me a while to get back to you, me and everyone else on here cares about you and wants to support you Heart

 

P.S some pictures of Duodogne because it's beautiful!! 

 

IMG_3103.JPGIMG_3104.JPG

 

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hey @Pariscat16 the school nurse and/or well being co-ordinator sound like a great place to start! I hope you're able to raise it with them.

And I would agree with @DruidChild in that finding your nearest headspace and giving them a ring would probably be the best way to go about getting someone to come out, or having fundraising events etc.

 

Sure! So, a few things that have helped me in regards to being nervous about talking to someone are:

Considering - writing down - the pros and cons. The biggest pro, that it would help me, potentially allow me to feel so much better, seemed to outweigh any cons.

Decide who you're going to talk to, and when. Once the idea of talking to someone became more of a real possibility, rather than just something I thought about, some of the uncertainty fell away.

Be open and realistic with expectations. Getting better/well takes time, and patience, but the reward is so, so worth it. The first person you talk to may not be the one you click with most - you might choose or need to talk with several different people before you find the right one, and that's totally okay.

Write down the one thing (or a few things) that you definitely want to say. If you're scared about saying them, remind yourself that it's okay to be scared, that you can do this. Say it out loud if you need to. Say it until you believe it.  

You don't have to look them in the eye when you're talking to them. If I'm really sensitive, I still sometimes won't look at my psychologist. I'll stare at my hands or the floor and rip a tissue into tiny pieces to keep me calm, but I'll get the words out.

 

Oooh, congratulations about the dance comps! The beach sounds good too!

Hope the week has been treating you well!

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hi, @DruidChild

Thanks for the photos. 

I have emailed headspace but they haven't replied yet. I do watch some home decor show I like the ones where they flip houses it gives me ideas of what I want my future house to look like. 

the past couple of days have been a bit hard I always feel so tired and even if I had a really long sleep I almost feel as if I am unable to feel rested. I always get really panicky and paranoid about waking up on time for school even though school doesn't start till 8:45. The other day I woke up 2 minutes later than I normally do and I ended up having a complete panic attack. I feel as if, if I don't wake up and do everything in my day at the perfect time or don't time everything well then it completely ruins everything. 

 

One other thing is that I always get really panicky and paranoid about waking up on time for school even though school doesn't start till 8:45. The other day I woke up 2 minutes later than I normally do and I ended up having a complete panic attack. I feel as if, if I don't wake up and do everything in my day at the perfect time or don't time everything well then it completely ruins everything. 

I don't know what to do because it ends up making my mum angry sometimes when I get upset and panic about it.  She doesn't really know what is going on. 

 

What are your thoughts on self-diagnosing? I know that lots of professionals don't like it when people self-diagnose but for me, I need a name for what is going on in my head and to me, it seems pretty clear what I might have. But whenever I read things online it always seems that I fit the criteria for many different things and that's why I need to know but I just find it way to hard to tell my mum or someone at school. 

What do you think about this?

 

What is happening being a med student? What are you doing at the moment?

 

One other thing what do you think is a good way to try identify your triggers to panic attacks I feel like I have so many maybe this isn't true but I don't know.

Thanks Heart

 

 

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hi, @letitgo

Thanks for the info, really helpful also what do you think about self-diagnosing?

Re: Reaching out to anyone with OCD or anxiety

Hey @Pariscat16,

No worries! Around self-diagnosing, I can see how it would be helpful to have some sort of label or category for you to be able to put yourself in. Having said that, I would caution against it, just because not everyone will fit every symptom/trait of a diagnosis and it might lead you down a rabbit hole in terms of all the different information available on the internet etc. and not all of that information is reliable.

 

In regards to triggers for panic attacks, there might not ever be any, but if you are trying to identify them, maybe you could look for warning signs. I do that for when my anxiety might skyrocket or my self-esteem might be dropping.

For me, warning signs are swearing, either in my head or out loud, which I don't often do but will do much more frequently when anxious. Also thoughts such as "I should have done..." or "I should be..." and avoiding (or not having the energy for) writing in my journal

Can you identify any of your warning signs? 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //